Are my fears rational, or do I just other-think everything? (Biploar, mania etc)

[CorneliusRuperTravis]

Hey guys,

Don't quite know where to start with this one (do I ever?)

I suppose this stems from the fear of losing control of one's self, but I have this really stupid fear that I somehow have Bi-Polar, or some kind of mood disorder. Whenever I feel happy I'm worried it's going to turn into mania and spiral out of control, and if I ever feel the slightest bit down I worry that it's going to turn into full blown depression and that I'll never get out of it.

Does this sound like what somebody with anxiety would think? Usually, I'm a very happy person. Especially in the last couple of months, I've gone through some rather deep spiritual changes (having read a lot about Zen Buddhism and applied it to my life) and now I love life, I've never felt quite so happy in fact. I split up with my girlfriend last year, and we went through several months of a messy break up type scenario. I got pretty depressed during that time, and my anxiety relapsed on me and I started suffering panic attacks again.

Now that it's all over, and I've learned to accept it for what it was, I feel like I'm back on top of life, and that I can do anything if I put my mind to it.

How does somebody actually know if they have Bi-Polar? Because even though I'm pretty happy right now, I still have this nagging fear that I'm just having a manic episode, and at times I feel like I'm just waiting for it all to come crashing down again. It doesn't, although if I think too much about this I end up worrying slightly and my mood does fall then...I dunno, I'm other-thinking this way too much.

Surely if I was having a manic episode, I'd be running around, talking non-stop, eating little and sleeping even less? My heart would be racing and I'd be unable to sit still for more than a few minutes? Don't people with Bi-Polar often go out and binge for days on drugs and are literally out of control? Sorry if I am going by stereotypes here. Do I really have anything to be worried about? I don't think any of this really applies to me.

Erm, thoughts?

[jill]

Hi hun

**I suppose this stems from the fear of losing control of one's self, but I have this really stupid fear that I somehow have Bi-Polar, or some kind of mood disorder. Whenever I feel happy I'm worried it's going to turn into mania and spiral out of control, and if I ever feel the slightest bit down I worry that it's going to turn into full blown depression and that I'll never get out of it.**

**Does this sound like what somebody with anxiety would think?**

Haha YES ME and from what I have read on here over the years alot of other memebers too.

I had this thought alot when I was acute, it was this site that helped me help myself. I have been panic, high anxiety free for along time. Just a little anxiety now and again, nothing I could not handle, but jan this year had a little huccup, haha, no suprise really ( will not go into that long story)

I hat this thought again about biploar, I do tend to up and down, BUT, BUT, so does everyone on this planet, even those who do not suffer anxiety, they just don't notice it, but because I have had panic, anxiety, I do tend to notice it more. I found that talking to people who have never had anxiety, just about how they feel at times, helps me understand that most of my emotions are normal, its just that I can at times look into things too much. WELL thats my thoughts anyway and it seems logic to me.

The way I look at things, we can't be happy and full of beans all the time.

Hope this helps

YOU TAKE CARE

LOVE JILL XXX

[CorneliusRuperTravis]

Hey Jill, thanks for your reply

I think what you say makes perfect sense: everybody has their up's and downs, that's just life. I take a look at some of my friends and family and funnily enough they seem to have more "bad days" than I do. But the difference is they aren't actively thinking about their moods 24/7, unlike me. Even if I'm having a good day, I almost get suspicious of my good mood XD

I suppose it's just that worry of extremes that persists. The whole "out of control" fear. But again, I think if I really were having a "manic" episode I'd know by now, because it'd be completely off the scale and unlike something I've ever experienced before. I wouldn't just be sitting here quite calmly listening to the radio like I am now, hehe.

Thanks, Jill. I didn't quite know how to write this post, but it's just something that's been going round in my mind for quite some time now and it bothered me slightly. But I feel better now that I've at least told somebody about it.

[jill]

Hi hun

One thing I will say is, NEVER let a unreasruing thought like that run loose round your head, GET IT OUT MAN

I am lucky I have an undrstanding sister to rant my nutty thoughts too. I feel it must be soooo dame hard if you can't get those irrational thoughts out of your head.

POST YOUR THOUGHTS HERE

I do have a saying, I HAVE anxiety, (now and again) anxiety DOES NOT have me, LOL

YOU TAKE CARE

LOVE JILL XXX