Hi, I got quite depressed a few years ago and was self harming and feeling suicidal as well as having a constant state of high anxiety and panic. I managed to get past this (without any medication) but it kept coming back on and off since then and nothing seems to make me happy. I try and keep myself really busy all the time so I don't have time to think or be by myself. A couple of weeks ago I went on holiday and had a lot of time to think when I started feeling quite suicidal again, not dramatically but in a reasoned, calm way like I have had enough of everything. I came back from holiday last week and felt the same and started to feel more depressed and anxious, crying every few minutes and generally feeling despairing. I went to my doctor on Tuesday and she prescribed me Citalopram (10mg). I started taking them Tuesday morning and have felt a little bit spaced out and anxious yesterday and today and very tired. But I'm not feeling quite as bad as last week. I woudln't say I'm happy or ok but I don't feel as low as that. I know the tablets take a while to work so it can't be them and now I'm thinking maybe I shouldn't take them as I might just be able to do it myself. At the same time I'm worried about not taking them in case I'm just having a good day and it might get bad again. I have been having psychotherapy for about a month and I haven't had a loss of appetite. Plus I have still been going to work and although it is making me a bit anxious it can be a good distraction from my own thoughts. I don't want to take medication if i don't need it! Thanks