I have a plan,,,,,, verdict please!

[Piscian Daydreamer]

Hello again everyone, its me, the guy with the crush.

You lot are so right, i just have to end this torture as soon as possible. It is a normal crush, but my life-long anxiety has got a hold of it and blown it totally out of proportion - its making me feel so mentally unhealthy and insecure. It is the not knowing that is the killer wouldnt you agree?

I will see her in my THS lesson on thursday afternoon when i am in next. Ive decided, im going to chat to her all lesson and make it totally obvious that i'm interested in her, but in a subtle way....... I'm gonna see how she reacts,,,, and then, at the end of the lesson when she rushes off to get her train LIKE SHE ALWAYS DOES, i will follow her out of the door, wait for her to get to the bottom of the stairs and then shout down the following;

"EMMA,,,, i really like you... just tell me, have i got any chance at all?"

Then she's gonna react and well, i'm going to know whether im in luck or not.


What do you all think to that? Does it sound honest and guttsy?

I am scared of being rejected because it will change things every time i see her again...........

But the not knowing is killing me and making me imagine too many possibilites....

Please, tell me i'm doing the right thing?

[tara]

Well i'd say just go for it, thats how i bagged my man. I was besotted for weeks with him, then one day I thought bugger it, just do it!! so I did and things went from there. It's been nearly a year now and things are going great. Just go for it, your not gonna know until you ask.
tara

[Alexandra]

Hi,

It all comes down to whether this girl is seeing someone already. If you find out she is'nt go for it by all means.

Take Care

Alex

Many People Will Walk
In & Out Of Your Life
But Only True Friends
Will Leave Footprints
In Your Heart

[existential crisis]

Doing that might be honest and guttsy but considering you are a person that is scared of rejection and suffers from anxiety...I don't know if shouting it from the bottom of some stairs is the best way for you to do it. Honest and guttsy is fine if you can take the fact that she might not really go for that approach, reject you and be slightly embarrassed by it. Doing it subtley is the way to go I reckon - when she does go for her train, walk with her down the stairs and then when she goes to leave then you can ask her (in a relatively private way) if she wants to go for coffee or something. You say that you plan to make it clear in the lesson that you like her - if you do do that and then you ask her for coffee and she accepts, then maybe thats a clue to whether she already has a boyfriend or not. I mean, if she had one she wouldnt accept an offer for coffee with someone who obviously has a more than friendly interest in her....Go for it!

*I think, therefore I am.*

[hayles]

Shouting from the stairs sounds a bit american film like.....
Just do it normally, like in your lesson...ask her if she would like to go for a drink? How much easier and less intrusive is that!!!!

If she says no, dont take it too hard...it's not rejection, not everyone can return feelings all the time.

Good Luck

Hay x

[Jason37]

Daydreamer,
Although I'm a guy, I honestly don't think most women would react well to being approached in such a public and overt way! Your plan would really put her on the spot. Most women would find that intrusive and feel like they were being backed into a corner. A great way to get a 'no' answer, I'm afraid - much easier for her than a 'yes' under those difficult circumstances! You need to give her the time and space to say yes. Why ask her outright if you "have a chance"? And, a chance of what exactly? How can she say yes or no when she doesn't know what you want?!
You need to be much more softly-softly about this, in my humble opinion, mate. Ask her for a coffee once or twice. Find out what films or music she likes, or what galleries, museums or whatever she enjoys. Then later you can offer to take her to the cinema, a concert, a gallery - on a date. That's the way to show you like her, not putting her centre stage with the spotlight blinding the poor girl!
I know what it's like to have a crush, believe me. I know what it's like to be hopelessly in love. Really I do! And I've learnt bitter lessons about these things, too.
So tread cautiously and keep your chances alive, give them a chance to grow and develop. Who ever said you would only have one throw of the dice?
Good luck to you, and best wishes.
Jason

[darkangel]

i would agree with what the others have said. I would say that putting her on the spot and shouting it down the stairs is a sure way of getting a knock back.Subtlety is the best way, get to know her a bit more and ask her for a coffee a few times - just take it gradual and see how it goes - you will pick up whether she is interested in you.
Each of us is scared of rejection, but it only hurts for a little while and like jason says there are always others. Go for it but don't dive in.

I hope it works out well for you.

Darkangel

........life is for living not just for surviving