trip to America

[apm]

Hi everyone, bit of a specific question, this one.
For work, I am booked to go to New York in early May for a conference (American Psychiatric Association, ironically, delivering a workshop about burnout in psychiatrists!). Sine my first (and only) panic attack just over 2 weeks ago, I've been feeling the 'fear of the fear', and while I think this is improving, I'm feeling anxious about whether I'll be able to go or not. While I am able to function reasonably well (go to work, go out etc), and I've faced two big fears (going on a train and getting stuck in traffic), I'm thinking that it would be sensible to cancel the trip to 1) remove this as a source of anxiety and 2) lose the possibility that I'll get there and have a shockingly horrible time. What do you think? Work have paid, so no loss to me, and I should be able to find someone to fill in for me.

Thanks in advance,

Alex.

If you're in a hole, stop digging... unless you're a miner.

[sarah]

Hiya Alex

I was in a similar (ish) position to you in October but it was a holiday not a conference. My husband basicaly made it clear that if I didnt go then I wasnt making an effort and he wouldnt be happy with me at all. i.e was it worth staying with me etc.

I was pretty much agoraphobic at the time so it was extremely difficult to even contemplate trying. Anyhow, I went to the doctor and explained my problem and he gave me some diazepam to relax me for the journey, I took them on the day of the flight and was completely fine and had a great time. (I also had a relaxation CD that I played non stop on the flight and a puzzle book to occupy me).

Maybe you dont want to take the diazepam route but the advice I would give is dont start avoiding things as it will make you worse.
The anticipatory anxiety is often worse than the actual event.

love Sarah
xx

[Brownie]

Hi Alex,

I say, try to go...dont be afraid of the panic (easier said then done I know) But I bet you will have a great time, and maybe it will get your mind off of the panic. Just keep yourself occupied while your in the city, believe me there are so many things to do I know because i live 10 minutes away lol. Do you take any meds?? As Sarah said bring your diazapam just for peace of mind so that you know you can calm down quick if you have to. And New York City in the spring.....who would want to miss out on that? Its the best time to go!
Good Luck Alex..I hope ya go.

-Christie[:I]

[apm]

Thanks guys- excellent advice as always. Trouble is, I'm not on meds, and I'm reluctant to go that route. The main thing that concerns me is that this trip will be weighing on my mind from now until I go, preventing me from making progress! I will also (for most of my time there) be on my own, and even before I got this thing of ours I wasn't much of one for socialising with strangers in strange surroundings! My fear is that assuming I get there ok, I'll have a miserable time. It's not the place- I've visited NY before twice with friends and had a stunning time. Also before my attack, I was always paranoid about flying- not the actual flying, but being on time, missing the flight etc. I just feel that a trip of this magnitude would be too much too soon! I'm also not avoiding situations that scare me, having already done the two major ones I was worried about (train and stuck in traffic). The colleague I'm presenting with has been very understanding, and suggested that I cancel (he's a psychiatrist!). Likely, given the event, that there'll be drug company do's I'm expected to go to, and I'm sure I'd rather avoid those.
Hmm.. thinking about it, I'm not sure I want to go, actually. What do you guys reckon?

If you're in a hole, stop digging... unless you're a miner.

[sarah]

Hiya Alex

Ok, so youve been putting yourself in anxiety situations already and not avoiding things. In that case, I believe that theres no point forcing yourself to do something just because you think you should.

Like me...I somtimes go out to places and think... do I really want to go or am I going just because I think I should to practice getting over the panic? Most of the time I go somewhere in the freezing cold and rain because im trying to 'cure' myself when I truly would be happier in the warm at home like most sensible 'normal'people...lol

So now you have another choice. Why not cancel the trip if as you say it wont be a problem with work and make your next flight abroad something more pleasant than a work commitment..a holiday. This will mean time to enjoy yourself and no extra pressure's that you dont need right now?

love Sarah
xx

[Meg]

Dear Alex,

I completely understand this one. I work in clinical trials and am very familar with the big conferences abroad and the Pharma do's. They can be very unpersonal and overwhelming.

It's a month away. You may feel so much better by then but I would certainly be starting to find a standby and plan B.

If you have a colleague/friend/ other people from work you can rely on to be a mate during a rough patch I think you will be ok , but if you are going to be with strangers and reps, drinking too much and staying up too late or being hotel alone then I agree a rain check may be your healthiest option this year.

Be kind to yourself.

You might want to think about getting a weekend away somewhere closer by plane during April to see how the flights are to help you decide.

If you were going because you had to - consider cancelling - if you were looking forward to it previously then think carefully before cancelling as the reasons you were looking forward to will still be there.





Meg

"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We're afraid."
"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We will fall!"
"Come to the edge."
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.

- Guillaume Apollinaire

[apm]

Great advice Meg- confirms everything I was thinking! I'm not afraid too much of the flying, or even giving the workshop, it's just the whole thing I think might be a bit overwhelming just now.

Many thanks for your sage words!

Alex.

If you're in a hole, stop digging... unless you're a miner.

[uryjm]

Alex
I know if I cancelled a work trip - anywhere - due to anxiety, it would be a big step backward. Sure, I could justify it to myself before I went, and you seem to have some very valid reasons for wanting to avoid it, but after it had passed I'd berate myself for having let the anxiety start to control my life instead of me controlling it. New York avoided this week, next week something else. Where will it end before I choose to put a stop it? So my advice would be choose to go. Think of the positives of the trip, the new friends you might meet, being in a great city on expenses, how the trip might help you do your job better and so on. Good luck.

Jim

[apm]

Hi Jim,
Appreciate your thoughts, and this is something I've been puzzling over for a while. I do agree with everything you've said- makes alot of sense. I have decided to not go, though. Despite being a fab city, I wasn't massively looking forward to the trip- quite stressful anyway, and I'd be on my own alot of the time (likely to be in hotel room!!- I'm not a great mixer in a strange city). I am actually giving 2 presentations between now and then (one London, one Cardiff)- it's not so much the trip or the presentation, but all of it together. It's making me anxious now, and I feel I need to not have it hanging over me if I'm to recover as soon as I can, if you see what I mean! As Meg says, I just think it'd b to much that soon. I feel I've made alot of progress already- so I'm not hugely concerned. Am I being naive??

Thanks again,

Alex.

[diana]

Dear Alex,

Welcome to our little family here.

So nice to have you here.

You have already had so much good advice thrown your way.

All I can add is that I agree with what Meg posted on one of her posts above about going if you had originally felt that you would like to but have changed your mind because of anticipatory anxiety.

However if you were never looking forward to the trip in the first place then your choice to decline at this time would probably be the best decision for you right now.

As long as you are sure that you are not avoiding the trip because of the fear of fear.

Do keep us updated on how you are doing.

I wish you luck in your decision making.

Take care,

Diana xxx [)]