Diagnosing other people

[W.I.F.T.S.]

When I first became ill and I started learning about depression and it's symptoms, I'd look around and think "you must be atleast slightly depressed...and you...and you"

There are people I know who drink a lot, people without many friends or interests, people unhappy with their jobs or relationships. I guess they must live on the borderline of being depressed and I just happen to have crossed that line.

Actually, it can be quite difficult to find healthy, balanced people. I know the sort of person that i want to be: someone at ease with myself, clear about where I'm heading, up for challenges and that is the sort of person that I want to associate with. As far as i can see, those people are the exception rather than the norm!!

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[nomorepanic]

I don't entirely agree with what you are saying here.

"I guess they must live on the borderline of being depressed"

Depression is not something that many people get that easily. We may say that we feel depressed but what we probably mean is we feel miserable, down, fed-up etc. Depression is not very common when you are talking specifically about clinical depression if that is what you are referring to.

"Actually, it can be quite difficult to find healthy, balanced people. I know the sort of person that i want to be: someone at ease with myself, clear about where I'm heading, up for challenges and that is the sort of person that I want to associate with. As far as i can see, those people are the exception rather than the norm!!"

I regard myself as healthy and balanced etc and I think most of the people around me are as well. To me it is the norm and not the exception.

Just my thoughts anyway.




Nicola

[W.I.F.T.S.]

Hi Nicola,

maybe it's just my depressed perspective. maybe it's a sign that I'm associating with the wrong sort of people.

I'm referring to statistics that show that one in five will suffer some form of depression in their lives and the general level of dissatisfaction that I see around me.

I've been trying to remember the name of an american speaker on depression who talks about "chronic low-grade depression", people who aren't clinically depressed, but struggle through life, not especially happy, inhibited by fear. Dysfunctional people.

Personally, I don't know that many people who are satisfied with either their home or their work lives, but they carry on anyway because they are too afraid to lose what they have already got.

Apologies if i seem argumentative and, it might be that I have a 'down' view of the situation, but that's just the way I see it.

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[mum2four]

I totaly get wherr your coming from I find my self looking at other people not just about depression ut any disorder or condition I know about and I kinda have a obsession with wanting to know about everything I can epecially anything that may need to know to HELP my family of friends. If I read someone message and thay talk about somthing that I have know idea about I have to google it so I know about it. Before I went on med's it would take me day to feel like I had enought info to forfill my need to know thses day's it tend to take only a fue min to a hour to forfill my need tounderstand why some one is the way thay are or what some mean's or what it is.

Once I know about I tend to see people with that issues or that thing what eva I had just learned about and other things in my head where eva I turn. I make comments to people about my kids compared to there kids or my behaviour compared to there behaviuor's. I not intenstionaly trying to diagnois people I more a fasination with the sysptom's other people seem to have a seem to still live there live with but for me and my kids it STOPs us from fully being who we are and what we want to be or do. People are often missunderstanding this as me trying to diagnoise them but I cant help what I do. I have just been diagnoised with OCD and I think this is one on my OCD compulsions maybe. I feel like if I hold that infomation back I may be letting somene who may have the condition go on and live there life with out finding out thay may be able to live wit out the symptom. I sopose I feel like keeping my mouth shut will harm some one the same way I affraid to do may other thing in fear of harming myself or other's.

Thankyou for writing this as this has help me better understand my self and something I yet to talk about to my Dr for fear of being told I was facking or wanting people to be sick or something. I dont know how bad you issue is with this but mine started out the same way just curiously looking and spotting as a kid I was alway fasinated with medical books for this reason and people would call me a hypercondriact and I became so scared that I was trying to make my sick by reading the book's. I used to read them when no could see me reading them. I knew I was not trying to become the illness I was reading about reading something never made me feel worse it made me feel better and it satisfied a need I still dont fully understand YET but I know it was not just because I felt diferent to other it was also because I felt I had to figiured other people out as well in order to be a better person to them.

I crave infomation even from a person that I'm talk to any time I talk to them everyday also day I find my self wanting to know more not for any mean reason or crazy phyco reason(I had a fear that I may be insane and hurt people with out knowing it if the obsession got worse but I just shut my self off from people I feel I'm obsessing about) I just want to as much about them in order to be a good person to them and if I'm far to scared to do anything with that person unless I know it ok to do with or for them. Then there is the other part of my issues when I know about I cant STOP wanting to HELP them and this help has often ruined relastionships threw out my whole life. I feel I'm helping but others see it as something different and untill now I could not work out why and still to some degree dont understand why. I never do anything mean or horrable or violent or anything to a person EVA I have in the past came on way to stronge and obsessive and I fugured that out when I was about 25y and since then been so scared to become absessive with everyone I meet or get to know. By obsessive I mean I want to hang out with I use to ring people every day some time's to see if thay are busy and maybe had time to hang out with me. The only thing I'm guilty of wanting to have friends and the only thing I suceeded in doing my whole life is coming accross as crazy person to some and to other controling when I never intended to come accross as anything but friendly. I have b

[Ammeg]

hmmm....
so how do u feel wishidfoundthissooner wen people look at you and make an assumption?? ive been called mad and had sniggers of strangers wen i panic, so i try not to judge anyone, coz thats exactly wot makes our conditions harder to live with- wot everyone thinks!!!
Ammegxx

[mum2four]

Ammeg I dont think wishidfoundthissooner meant he JUDGES people just seem to see and wonder/think about the difference between thay way people seem to cope compared to other's. I think everyone dose this time to time and speacialy when thay just got something new or notice something new eg when you think about RED car's you see RED cars everywhere. I think this is what wishidfoundthissooner is trying to say. I think wishidfoundthissooner also is being honerst about how he/she thinks. If everyone one was honerst thay would poperly know thay do the same thing from time time. When people are tyring to make sence of something thay do it more than normal.

As far as I concerned an asumption mean you treat some differently more so in bad way base on your thought and I did not get that impression that wishidfoundthissooner wants to treat people different in a bad way at all. You made you own asumption by saying you think wishidfoundthissooner was asuming and judging and this is no help to you or other people with anxiety or OCD ect or anyone.

[Ammeg]

huh???
wishidfoundthissooner said they "look around and think 'you must be atleast slightly depressed and you...and you'"
I did not make an assumption that they were asuming things, hence the quote.
Also i dont have the same meanin of an asumption as you- to me an asumption is just presuming something about someone, i dont think you treat people different coz of this. but just my opinion, dont mean to sound argumentative!!
Ammegxx

[W.I.F.T.S.]

It's not about judging people, it's about me looking around and trying to gauge what 'normal' actually is.

Are most people happy and well-adjusted or do they accept things that they're not particularly happy about and soldier on?



Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[W.I.F.T.S.]

It's not about judging people, it's about me looking around and trying to gauge what 'normal' actually is.

Are most people happy and well-adjusted or do they accept things that they're not particularly happy about and soldier on?



Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.