My boyfriend doesn't understand?

[miniholly]

Okay so,
My boyfriend asked me what was bugging me tonight and I snapped and finally told him about my OCD.
He asked me about my intrusive thoughts about health etc.
He just told me to chill and now he's being really off with me.
He was like this when I told him about my depression but he got over it after a bit.
He just doesn't seem to understand how seriously this has affected me and I've read other forums about their significant others not understanding either.
What can I do to make him understand?
Its so frustrating!

[Tyke]

Hi Miniholly

Just try and be straight with him like you are doing. You can't really change people, if he is not the understanding type and can't cope with it, he'll move on. Let him know how common these problems are and that they are just medical conditions like any physical problem would be. See if you can educate him a bit, maybe he is just a bit freaked out by it all and will come round in the end.

Tyke

[RLR]

Okay, if you don't mind the inquiry, please describe the elements related to your OCD and whether it has been clinically diagnosed or alternatively your interpretation of the symptoms. Intrusive thoughts, or ruminations, are quite common within the context of clinical depression or anxiety features. Ruminations, however, do not necessarily constitute an obsessional quality merely because they are frequent or irrepressible.

Most persons with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder are not as disrupted in life by the obsessive component as they are the compulsivity which typically becomes predominant in order to suppress the unwanted obsessions. I merely make the point in order that consideration be given to what you're experiencing rather than what you have, if you see my point. Many patients dealing with disorders of this type will use diagnostic classifications to describe their symptom patterns, which if taken at face value can sometimes result in preconceived notions.

It is also not uncommon at all for family, friends and loved ones to exhibit frustration and even scrutiny when being confronted by discussions relating to disorders of this type because a common misconception is that such difficulties are under the influence and intervention of the sufferer to a far greater extent than actually exists. Consequently, it is felt that efforts are directed more to acceptance than defiance, which would relegate all those concerned to watching you suffer with no ability to help.

In such instances, those afflicted with the disorder must decide whether it is better to divulge the facts in terms of a disorder, or merely explain why they are not feeling their best, in this instance ruminative thoughts that are bothersome. People can far better relate to what you're feeling rather than what you have in the way of a disorder.

Lastly, I'd ask what health worries have you concerned to the extent that they are ruminative in nature?

Best regards,

Rutheford Rane, MD (ret.)

[Anxious_gal]

If he never experienced he can't understand, it's not his fault, but his reaction to you , well he could chose to be more compassionate and patient, but again if he cannot under stand, then he cannot relate and he may well believe that the OCD is something you can control or ignore.
You need to find a way , of explaining it to him, so he can relate.
In terms of anxiety I'll explain it, like if how you would feel if you were confronted by a huge angry bear, but in reality there is no bear but the fear is there and the fear feels real.

It' a bit like how I have a fear of heights but I cannot understand how anyone can enjoy sky diving, but maybe if they could explain in such a way I could imagine how it may be pleasurable I might get an idea of how it could be fun to jump out of a plane.

[miniholly]

Hi thanks everyone for your response.
He calmed down the day after and apologised for the way he re acted,he seems to be a bit more understanding and has said its due to the fact I do nothing all day and I hardly have any sleep and he is right.
And somehow my OCD feels better now I've told him as I felt like I was keeping a huge secret from him.
He hasn't really experienced mental health problems with anyone before so he doesn't react to it too well but he does come round and has been supportive with my depression.

[Anxious_gal]

Philomena thats too true :(
Holly glad to hear he is beginning to be more understanding