Agoraphobic 20 year old

[emu12]

Hi everyone, this is my first post and Im not too sure the purpose of me writing but it feels good to have gone through others posts and seen their support and that others are also going through what I am too.
I've had agoraphobia for 5 years now and I obviously go through waves of good times and very bad times.
Im feeling quite low at the moment as Im on my university summer break and have just noticed, through having so much free time, how much I am restraining myself from living a normal life. I dont go outside of the town I live in, I dont go on holiday, I dont go out at night as this is when I feel worse, I dont stay over anywhere apart from my own house. Just recently I have started to stop travelling in cars and only feel calm when I travel on the bus.

My sisters graduation is coming up next week and I know that I will not be able to go, I feel such a let down not being able to see my sister graduate. But even if I dont go this still creates anxiety for me as I would then be left at home by myself for two nights as my parents are obviously going to see her graduate. I get very anxious being in the house by myself overnight and have only ever done this with a friend. As at the moment my anxiety is very high I dont even feel I will be okay for two nights by myself even if my friend does come to stay over.

I feel Im wasteing my life, I dont have many friends and certainly dont go out enough to be able to meet a boyfriend. Im young and should be really enjoying life at the moment but I feel my life in its current state is kind of pointless.

Ive been to the drs before about this and have also attended an axiety self help group but clearly nothing has worked so far.

Thanks for reading.

Emma

[vicky23]

hi Emma
I'm sorry you're going through this I understand what you mean about being young but not being able to live a 'normal' life.
There are definitley people here who understand what you're going through so hopefully that will bring you some comfort. You say you've been to the Dr's, was that recently? it might be worth another trip to ask for a referral to a physchologist. Also something I've found useful is just to go to the library and get out like every relevant book and look through them all just to get a good understanding of the anxiety that has helped me.
Best wishes

[Eva May]

Hey Emma welcome. I always think summer puts us under pressure because everyone else is heading away on hols or going to every concert around or whatever and we seem to be just letting it all pass us by. I've recently started CBT and am finding it more helpful than most other things I've tried. My advice would be to try find one of these therapists and go for a few sessions. One thing it has definitely done for me is to blow away all my stupid and very wrong ideas about agoraphobia and the panic attacks with it and once u start believing the actual facts things seem a bit more normal and slightly less scary

[cromford]

Hi. This is my first time on NMP. I suffered badly at your age too. I did not go to university but it was at the age of 20 that things took a turn for the worse. I am now 50. I have had all sorts of treatments. Pills, therapies etc. I did eventually get to be about 90% better. There were a few things I could not do, such as use public transport or travel overseas. My family got used to my limitations and life ticked along really well. It was a slow process and I think that is the hardest thing to take when you are feeling so low. But the good thing is that it does get better and slowly you retrain your brain not to think a certain way and before you know it you are no longer worried about things that you used to worry about.
Firstly you must not beat yourself up too much as that only makes you feel worse. If you can get CBT and the right medication (I am on Seroxat) you can greatly improve your quality of life.
Unfortuately I am going through a blip at the moment but time and patience will pull me through.

Take care

[Nicky32]

Hi everyone, this is my first post and Im not too sure the purpose of me writing but it feels good to have gone through others posts and seen their support and that others are also going through what I am too.
I've had agoraphobia for 5 years now and I obviously go through waves of good times and very bad times.
Im feeling quite low at the moment as Im on my university summer break and have just noticed, through having so much free time, how much I am restraining myself from living a normal life. I dont go outside of the town I live in, I dont go on holiday, I dont go out at night as this is when I feel worse, I dont stay over anywhere apart from my own house. Just recently I have started to stop travelling in cars and only feel calm when I travel on the bus.

My sisters graduation is coming up next week and I know that I will not be able to go, I feel such a let down not being able to see my sister graduate. But even if I dont go this still creates anxiety for me as I would then be left at home by myself for two nights as my parents are obviously going to see her graduate. I get very anxious being in the house by myself overnight and have only ever done this with a friend. As at the moment my anxiety is very high I dont even feel I will be okay for two nights by myself even if my friend does come to stay over.

I feel Im wasteing my life, I dont have many friends and certainly dont go out enough to be able to meet a boyfriend. Im young and should be really enjoying life at the moment but I feel my life in its current state is kind of pointless.

Ive been to the drs before about this and have also attended an axiety self help group but clearly nothing has worked so far.

Thanks for reading.

Emma

#
Hey Emma get help A.S.A.P. You should really get to the root of it with some people who know what they are talking about. It's good how u can use the bus over a car. I was the other way around. I cut off contact full stop and it destroyed my life. I went years without speaking to anyone outside my family. Now I do wish I had seeked help.

Try going outside cycling in the countryside that opened up my world and the anxiety went down and down but it takes time plus its good exercise.

[emu12]

Thanks for all your replies.

Vicky - I have taken out alot of books from the library before but I think I may look again just for good measure as it was a while ago. I went to the drs about it in January 2010 so maybe time for another visit. I got put onto CBT but only on phonecalls, but they said if that didnt work with me I could ask for another referral for in person CBT so Im hoping this is still an option.

Eva - Yes this is exactly my thinking, all my friends are off on girly holidays and going to festivals etc! and thats just a memory for me! LIke Ive just said to Vicky I think I should go back to the drs and ask for the face to face CBT as I've tried it over the phone but I feel talking to someone in person like you say may help. Thanks for the kind words

Cromford - Thankyou for the words of encouragement I feel so much better coming on here and hearing other peoples experiences, Ive decided to go back to the drs for face to face CBT. Could I ask what the medication does? I've heard people with anxiety disorders being put on medication but what does it exactly do? Has it helped you?

Nicky - Yes, I find it a bit strange I can get the bus with strangers but find I am more anxious when Im in the car with friends. I think its because when I get the bus, Im the one with the control, I can control when and where I get off and if I comeover feeling anxious I just have to press a button and Im out of the situation. Whereas in a car I feel trapped and as if I start acting anxious/nervous/shaky then the person who is driving me will notice and I will feel stupid etc. Thanks for the tip about the cycling, just recently been trying to live healthier so I really think cycling will help me, espeicially as it helps me to get out and exercise. Out of interest how is your anxiety now? Has the cycling really helped it?

Thanks everyone

[Nicky32]

Aye it did help...at first i freaked out with the fast heartbeat then eventually i realise its going to happen when i exercise plus getting outside it helped tons.

[emu12]

Ok thats good then, thanks alot I will try it, hopefully the british weather will give me a chance to try it anyway haha

[Nicky32]

lol thats what keeps me from doing it daily is the weather. im no fan of the cold or rain

[saro]

Hi,

I am also a university student and I find it difficult to go out of my town. I always push myself when I have to though but I completely avoid motorways. The thing that works for me at the minute is Citalopram. I can go around town without getting anxious at all now and im even looking for a holiday soon.

Sarah