cannot tallk face to face

[Janvi]

Im 31 years old. i have social anxiety since a long time now.
I cannot talk to certain poeple face to face. As soon as i get attention of someone i cannot talk wiz them face to face. I start pannicking, my facial expression changes, i get mouthtwitch and trembling lips. This is worst when everybody is looking at me N ive to say something infront of everybody in case someone is talking to me N ive to reply. Its soo embarassing. I equally get this anxiety during photo sessions especially during birthdays and special occasions. I get mouthtwitch whenever Ive to take out a picture either alone or with my family or friend. How Can I deal wiz this. Does anybody suffers from same? PLease help me.

[RLR]

This is a common circumstance and it arises from self-sctutiny about how you are appearing and interacting with others to the extent that it suppresses your ability to act naturally.

It is a misperception to think that people who interact with you are focused upon the characteristics which you are struggling to choreograph in an artificial manner. You must learn to focus on engaging the other person with interest in them and not yourself. You have to let go of trying to induce voluntary control over functions that are natural in context. In other words, trying to focus on facial expressions because you believe someone has certain expectations or is scrutinizing you, will most always result in an unnatural expression.

It's also important that to avoid panic or discomfort, you must realize that engaging people in conversation does not place you under judgment. People who care what you have to say are interested in you in a very general way and are not scrutinizing you as though something is wrong or odd about you. You're fears of this is what is causing you to act unnaturally.

There is nothing whatsoever wrong with you in that regard. We're all different and that's what makes being with other people so special. Just act naturally and don't yield to urges to focus internally toward how you're acting or performing in front of someone. They're not judging your performance.

Again, turn your full attention to person you're speaking with and you'll find it to actually be a lot of fun to realize that they're simply engaging in conversation with you and not inspecting everything you do. Being friendly and engaging other people in conversation does not have any pressure at all to do it in some special or perfect way. That's the beauty of it. You can just relax and be yourself and that's what people want most. So you're in luck, because everyone has the capacity to simply be themselves. It's when they try to perform or feel that they need to act in a certain way that trouble begins.

You'll be fine. It just takes some practice an you'll be on your way. Try working with a friend until you get comfortable with focusing all your attention to them and then you can gradually meet other people and do the same.

Best regards,

Rutheford Rane, MD (ret.)

[Janvi]

Thx a lot 4 for nice reply.
Hope to come out of this one day coz its affecting my social life.

[hanna090]

Hey im glad you posted this as I have this exact same problem.
I used to be so confident, but now i just hate all the trembling and shaking and don't feel confident at all anymore!

[Janvi]

Hello hanna,

Glad to hear from you. Im fighting with this everydayN im fed up wiz this. Its like hell.

[Edward78]

Im 31 years old. i have social anxiety since a long time now.
I cannot talk to certain poeple face to face. As soon as i get attention of someone i cannot talk wiz them face to face. I start pannicking, my facial expression changes, i get mouthtwitch and trembling lips. This is worst when everybody is looking at me N ive to say something infront of everybody in case someone is talking to me N ive to reply. Its soo embarassing. I equally get this anxiety during photo sessions especially during birthdays and special occasions. I get mouthtwitch whenever Ive to take out a picture either alone or with my family or friend. How Can I deal wiz this. Does anybody suffers from same? PLease help me.

Wow it sounds like you have the same problem as me. I get mouthtwitch and trembling lips, and very often I am completely crippled by it, eg, I cannot talk because I physically cannot control my mouth. This is the reason my SA persists, I'm 32 and have had this problem for about 15 years, and its got no better, and i dont think it will ever get better. I have the same problem with photos/smiling as well. Also bright light, if I'm squinting/tensing my face, my quivering is uncontrollable. When I'm talking and controlling my mouth becomes impossible I have to stop, I recon this is similar to a stutter that 'blocks'. In fact although it a completely different condition I would say that result of my condition is similar to that of a stutterer. This problem has completely ****ed up my life, I try and accept myself and do the best I can.