memory issues, very afraid

[Rachel W]

I have been having memory issues, mainly word recall and feeling that I can't take information in. I feel like my concentration is lower too. It is happening all the time. I have been worrying about it and notice every time I can't get a word immediately, which just makes it worse. I can usually get the word within a few seconds, but sometimes it takes longer and because I am worried I will look it up. I used to be a zookeeper and am doing my Master's research right now which has been stressful, plus I have OCD and also this health anxiety. I have never had such issues before. I started volunteering at the zoo again last week to get my foot in the door again and I couldn't remember all the animals' names, even though I had looked some of them up a week before. I just blank on words and names I used to know without a problem and I have also started to feel dizzy and foggy. I also feel that I am switching my sentences around, but this only happens when I am thinking or talking to myself. It feels really bad, but I don't have health insurance right now (in the US) and am scared to go to a doctor anyway. I am 40, but my cycle is pretty regular, although with the stress of the research it has been a little off. I usually remember every detail of every day, but lately I look back and can't remember details at all; if I bought something etc. I am very very scared.

How common is dementia in the early 40s? Am I right that most cases are genetic? No one in my family has had early onset, and no one has had demetia at all as far as I know, even though many have lived into their 70s, 80s and even 90s. I am so scared that after years of anxiety I have finally fried my brain. The grad degree was really stressful and a few times I felt really burned out.

[Anxious_gal]

Are you forgetting words you usually know?
Does it happen a lot or just when you are stressed and tired,
Bad memory does happen with anxiety but it is good to get your doctors advice too,
Are you on any meds ?

[Rachel W]

Not on any meds, and I am always stressed. I have basically been stressed for years and am never fully relaxed. It started a little last year after I met someone with dementia and I started to notice stuff, but then when i stopped worrying about it it went away. It has come and gone, so isn't completely steady, but for the past two months I am constantly worried about it, so it seems to be constant. It is words I usually know, but most of the time if I relax it will come to me. I am constantly on edge so it seems like my mind is going blank on the word. I used to do this when talking to people who intimidate me or in an interview, so the sensation isn't necessarily new, but the fact that I am constantly worrying about it (the first thing I think about when I wake up) then it is like my brain is doing it as a response. Once I had been at the zoo a while, I did the routine and even picked up on things that other keepers hadn't. Surely this wouldn't happen if I was having real cognitive actions. Dementia is one of the diseases that I have always worried about and I wonder with meeting someone I have known since a child with it had just triggered my anxiety and brought on a psychosomatic issue? It seems like a coincidence that I feared the other disease that is one of my worse nightmares (ALS), just two years ago and now this. I had all the tests for ALS and everything was fine. I even had slight speech issues then because of the worry that haven't completely gone away and comes on when my neck is stiff or I am anxious.

Also, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to hold a normal conversation over the phone with my old boss, but once I was speaking with her I was fine and the fog seemed to lift.

[snowgoose]

Hi Rachel

so empathise with this memory worry ...... it has upset me a lot recently too.
I do think it is brain overload and stress . we are distracted and our minds exhausted . Fog Brain I call it .

it comes and goes you say ........be comforted by that ........it isnt dementia which is super rare in your 40s and has different presentation anyway .

you need rest and recuperation ......no more book work and taxing assignments.
eat well ......little bit exercise and lots of water .........just be for a while if you can and let life go by .
you will be fine and dont worry .........think this is very common with acute anxiety .
I worry too because I forget recent things .......mind on auto pilot .

[Rachel W]

It is the word recall that is the most significant symptom and I was always so lucid and eloquent (this word came to me quickly but I had to sit there for a moment and looked up the word 'articulate' as I was worried that there was another word that I would normally use instead of eloquent (looked up speech issues as I knew I would find it there), and as it turned out eloquent was the correct one anyway. I just feel dumbed down.

Saying that I am still studying and it won't be over until the end of the year. I am working on a self-managed study and trying to get the field research wrapped up (which is very stressful for OCD reasons - lots of dogs loose and garbage on pathways). Is it a good sign though that all my classes that I did from 2009 to summer 2010 resulted in me getting a distinction?

Argghhh!!! VERY frustrating. There were so many times last year that I just wanted to get away from it all but couldn't. I gave myself November and December off from any work, but it was lingering at the back of my mind and that time was stressful as my boyfriend and I were arguing a lot too. I feel like escaping to a desert island for 6 months with no OCD, no studying, nothing...:(

[Anxious_gal]

You know it could be the simple act of noticing when you forget words that is making is seem worse than it is because you are hyper aware of it now.
It has happened me too, actually it will happen most days if you stay aware of it.
On the phone just now I couldn't remember the name of this shop, to save my life!
When you have anxiety your brain works differently. like the flight or fight response, I watched a documentary on it and your brain switches to survival mode, then your tummy stops digesting food, your heart races, you feel hyper and the urge to run.
Like you said when you relax the words will come to you
It's a bit like rushing around trying to find your keys and then realizing they are in your hand but you have no memory of picking them up, this sort of stuff will happen when you are stressed.
or pouring the sugar into your tea instead of the milk hahah
I struggle with talking to people when I am anxious, my muscles tense up, i seem to clench my jaw making pronocing words hard, or i'll mix up words, I will get confused, find it hard to hear what the other person is saying to me.
I can walk away from an interview with very little knowledge as to what happened as I am too hyped up with anxiety to focus or concentrate
I keep a diary to keep track off all my appointments. I spent the day thinking it was Thursday only to be informed it was Friday eeek!
I understand the feeling dumbed down, but again it is the anxiety, when you are relaxed you feel smarter well I do any way just around other people my anxiety tends to go up unfortunately.
You sound so stressed out, I think it's amazing you still manage to get so much done.
I find that the best thing for anxiety is CBT as it helps me to be more logical and less irrational.