How do I cope

[brill]

Hello friends I am having a hard time coping with depression.It,s not something I am used to I only really started to feel depressed about 8mts ago when I lost my job due to my agoraphobia getting worse.

Before this I had down days but never anything that compares to the black hole I,m in at the moment.So I have never really had to deal with these feelings before.I have been tryed on a lot of diffrent meds all with sideaffects.And none of them have been to successfull.

I guess my main question is how do other people cope,what do they do to help themselves,and is there anybody who has had success in beating depression.

I hope somebody has the answer.

Thanks BRILL

Never give up
Never give in
Life,s to short
Make it last
Brill

[kizzy]

Hi Brill,sorry you are having it rough just now.
I have been there too & what helped me most was walking,yes just walking 20 mins a day,course if you can't get out that won't be
easy. The other thing was to try not to be scared of it,just accept it will pass with or without meds. Don't try to fight it just go with it for now.
best of luck
kiz xx

[silentcalligraph]

I'm sorry you have to go through this - everybody who has/had to deal with depression knows how horrible those black holes are. Here are a couple of things that help me when things get tough.
- don't let yourself be reduced to the depression, depression might be part of you right now but there's lots more to you than that. Make a list if necessary.
- try to reach out to others, offer some help to somebody who needs it. I know it sounds a bit odd but compassion is an excellent source of relief. You mention agoraphobia - if leaving the house is still a problem you can still help others whilst staying at home. Call somebody you think is in need of a friend or use the net. If you're religious pray for others - even that can help.
- physical exercise as mentioned above can be very helpful too. If the agoraphobia makes walking a non-option you can still do some exercise at home, use a tape or if you're not into that sort of things go for a thorough house-cleaning.
- be gentle to yourself, no pressure. The depression will fade eventually but it has its own timing. If you can't make it go away right now it's not a failure.
- think of the depression not so much as an ordeal but as a chance to find out more about yourself. There are various self-help books out there trying to approach depression from that angle.
- be gentle to yourself, I know I said that already but it's the most important of all things! Be kind and gentle as you would be with a good friend and have patience.

[nomorepanic]

Brill

Many years ago (2 years into the start of my panic) I was really depressed and I think I was close to a breakdown. Years later my mum said that she had seen people have breakdowns and she felt I was close.

I used to do nothing all weekend except lay on the settee and sleep. I was still working at the time but was existing not living. I was very miserable, down and yes depressed.

I used to make recordings on tapes and they sound so bad to listen to now but that is how I felt at the time. I didn't want to live even though I was never suicidal as such - it was a nightmare.

Only my strength got me through it and my will to live and see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Maybe Charlie will post her cos she was diagnosed with depression and she is doing so well now.

I wish I could wave a wand for you Brill and make you better - will a hug do for now?

x

Nicola

[brill]

Oh wow you have all touched my heart so very much.I,m not to shy to admit you all have made a growen man cry.Very good advice probbley better advice then any doctor has given me.I won,t say to much today to worked up to but I can say that when I am down,I don,t seem to be able to think about self help so thanks for helping.

Brill.
Ps nic all hugs excepted lol (I think my wife is sick of me hugging her lol )

Never give up
Never give in
Life,s to short
Make it last
Brill

[sarah]

Hiya Brill

I got really depressed when I got made redundant last year and became agoraphobic.

What Nic describes sounds just like I was, sleeping all the time, not interested in anything, tearful, I stopped eating for 2 weeks ans lost loads of weight then started again and ate everything and put on loads.

I think it comes hand in hand with the agographobia and not being able to live your life like you want too.
Just think, you dont go out much so your mind isnt active in the way it used to be so its dwelling on the 'why me', 'when will i get better' etc. This is bound to get you down - I know it did me!
On the positive, the medication I took and as I gradually got better it wore off.
I even went so far as pretending I was happy - putting some great music on and dancing like a mad woman round the living room!!! What a sight that was I can tell you...lol

Anyway..I truly believe it will pass for you. The stronger you get and the more you occupy yourself with, the better you will feel.

Love 'n Hugs
Sarah
xx

[kate]

Hiya Brill,

Sorry to hear that you are feeling so down at the moment.

I had my first brush with depression when I was 19, several years ago now!!

I was misdiagnosed and prescribed diazepam which just worstened my condition.

After suffering for several months, feeling like the black hole was totally swallowing me up, I started seeing a private doc who prescribed me anti d's.

It was a long hard road and it took about 6 months for me to start feeling as if a light had suddenly been shone into my black hole.

From that day on, I started to feel a little better each day.

I was on the anti d's for about 18 months in total.

I now mostly have anxiety and panic but on occasion, I have what I would describe as a mild depression which I think is due mainly to the restrictions on my life brought about by the anxiety.

I know how it feels as if things will never get better at the moment, Brill.

But it honestly will pass though it may take a while.

Just remember we are all here for you. I only wish that this site had existed when I was going through my worst times.

Keep posting Brill, and someone will always be here to reply to you!

Take good care, Brill

Kate x

[brill]

Wow the support is overweleming thank you all so very much I can honistly say that I have no words to explain the thankfullness I feel towards you all and it is this responce which is helping me more then anything I have tryed.And it does make me feel sad when I think there is so many other people in my position.

Before this depression hit me I can honestly say I have never had to deal with such a powerfull emotion,Not for this extended perioad of time anyway.I think one of the main factors is that I am now starting to realise that I am unimployed,All my life since the age of 15 I have been employed by the same firm and during that time I was in my mind always employed even when I was on holidays I would wake up in the mornings with a job,And now I wake up without a job and no great prospect of getting one in the near future.I have an overwellimg feeling of failyer not only to myself but to my wife and son also.Now instead of them relying on me to provide for them I now reley tottally on my wife for a lot of things in my life including what freedom I have left.And yes I do have to much time for self pitty,And a lot of other negitave thoughts which have dragged me down I have tryed thinking positive but with little success but I will try to continue down this road.Hoppfully to some form of wellness.And to be very honest with you I find the thought of batteling my way out of this depression very overwelming and I find it hard to beleve I have the strength to do so I feel as if all my fight has left me and I have given in to it.and I find some days better then others.

Another problem I am struggling with is that in my mind I have in some way lost my manhood,the tears that just seem to come for no reason the fear of the world I have to live with every day....ect
I worry that if somebody broke into my house would I be man enough to defend my family,And the list goes on and on.Are these normal feeling for somebody with depression

For me so many questions and not enough answers I have always been a person who has had to have an answer to the question why and now I haven,t got the answers.

Anyway thank you all and please excuse the spelling mistakes.

Brill.

Never give up
Never give in
Life,s to short
Make it last
Brill

[kate]

Brill,

All of the emotions you are feeling are part and parcel of depression.

You feel so low that it all gets totally out of proportion and you start doubting everything about yourself and your life.

The light will once again shine into your black tunnel of despair. This may take some time, but believe me, it WILL happen.

Keep posting, Brill, everyone here will help you along the way.

Take care

Kate x

[Meg]

Hi Brill,

It's so hard to think positive when you feel that there is not much to be positive about right now so try to think realistic instead.

You don't have a job at this time and perhaps are not well enough to go and start to look for one but you can do things round the house to help your wife. Perhaps do a couple(pace yourself) of those annoying tasks that have been waiting for months or years to get done. Unexpectedly has even more impact

You may have to really push yourself to start the first one but the momentum grows and you will have more self respect and your family will be grateful for your input.

Then in time you may feel able to help someone else out with some task an elderly neighbour perhaps, and then take on a regular volunteer task and then maybe some part time work.

One of the secrets is finding someone who needs you and is appreciative of your efforts, another is relearning your self worth and increasing your self esteem .

Doing regular vigourous exercise is a great help too.

Crying is fine. Release of emotions is not a bad thing at all.

If someone broke in to your house , adrenaline and testosterone would pound through you .




Meg

"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We're afraid."
"Come to the edge."
"We can't. We will fall!"
"Come to the edge."
And they came.
And he pushed them.
And they flew.

- Guillaume Apollinaire