Why am I killing myself?

[Chuffed2Bits]

I have been diagnosed with Depression and Anxiety for a while now and I'm taking 100mg Sertraline daily. Had been off work for over a year and am now working part-time. I know that I have come along way since last year.

The truth be told...I'm killing myself.... Each evening I go through the same routine : Prepare dinner - have a glass of wine, sometimes I have nearly a bottle drunk before I even eat my dinner. Feed dog, walk dog and do dishes. Then, as I sit down to watch the tv or a dvd I start on spirits and every night I have at least a half bottle before going to bed. My liver has to be completely shattered. I dread going near the doctor because I know the LFTs are up the left and I've gained a lot of weight. This has been going on for quite a while (a year or more) and it's really starting to upset me.

I really do want to try and stop the booze. Has anyone any suggestions or tried a home detox? If so, what did you do and did it work.

I really thought that it was just a habit and that I could stop at any time... I put on a brave face at work and to the world I'm just the 'happy go lucky' person with not a care in the world. It's really getting me down and I'm so angry with myself in the morning. I do believe I need help.

Can someone please help? Any suggestions would be welcome.

Thanks for reading

C2B

[terror-x]

Hi there ive never had a drink problem so cant really give any advise on it allthough i can say here is were you will find help ims ure there are a few members that would like to help you and i wont leave myself out if your ever feeling upset or lonly please feel free to message me and i will gladly talk to you ..

[Anxious_gal]

you would want a medical check up first! It's not good to stop right away if you have been doing it for a long time.
My mum tried a home detox, she lasted 3 days, the doctor gave her medication to help.
I would highly suggest a rehab, one of those non hospital ones that you can find in the country, that feel more like a home. They tend to have staff who have also been through rehab and used to be addicts. so they can really help you on a personal level.
you really need to be able to see how much drink affects you and your thinking.
it's not just a matter of wanting to stop you also need support.
once your addicted you always will be and it's a battle to fight the urge, you just need to love something more than you love the drink.
Also health insurance may cover the cost of rehab.

[Chuffed2Bits]

Thank you for kind words...terror-x and mishel...

[Kate21]

I also want to stop drinking I found out I was really horrible to my friend the other day but I couldn't remember :-( my behaivour when i'm drunk seems to be getting worse so as of today hopefully no more! PM me if you want and let me know how you get on x

[emmax]

I can completely relate to this unfortunately. I've been averaging a bottle of wine a night for quite some time. I have the odd day off but not very often and I have been getting stomach pains. I too am terrified and know I need to stop and just hope it's not too late xx