Hi,
I'm Nikki i'm 30 and have been suffering with Anxiety since childhood, although I think as a child people just thought I was weird. So, I've bottled it up and ran away from many situations in a state of mania, until 4YRS ago, I got help and was diagnosed with OCD and anxiety disorder.
I am on paroxetine/Soroxate and am trying to wean off. So far i'm down from 30mg to 10mg with mild anxiety. As whilst it helped elevate the anxiety, i'm not myself on it, actually on 30mg I was acting quite slutty which freaked me out and I felt even more self-conscious and insecure.
I tend to live a 'normal' life now and am friendly and bubbly but I constantly question and obsess about everything I say or do, as though I don't trust myself to be accepted into society and I expect people to treat me like a child because I don't feel as though i'm on their level and I change my own behaviour to fit in with who ever i'm with as though i'm so scared to be myself.
I found that I coped with childhood traumatic experiences like a walk in the park, then as soon as I settled with lovely people around me and descent prospects, that's when I started to panic. I was scared of contamination, nut allergies and choking and the more I avoided them, the more new things I came up with to fear, and the full blown attacks started.
I recently attended an anxiety intensive course that was amazing, just being around 'normal' people that suffered the same! But they were so lovely and I didn't want it too end, once its over your back out in the real world and on your own again fighting against yourself and your own irrational fears, that's why I was soooo happy to find this site
And i'm sorry i've probably bored you with my babbling, thanks for reading
Nic x
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