My Citalopram journey

[Jefferiah]

Hey guys,

Well, I have been suffering depression for a number of years, and over the past year, my anxiety has really started to become more evident, with panic attacks, and as of the past 6 months or so, they started to become very regular, so I have been put on Citalopram to help this, as well as CBT.

I am taking 10mg per day at the moment, and assume my dose will be increased after the first 28 days.

Anyway, I am currently on Day 19 of taking the Citalopram, and I really am having a bad time :(

I thought I seemed to be getting away lightly in terms of side effects, as I wasn't experiencing the nausia and things which people often do. The first few days I just found myself tired, but I did instantly notice that at night, I couldn't sleep, and found myself "wired" if you will.

As this got to about Day 4, I was starting to get tired, but as I say, couldn't sleep. My anxiety was constantly higher than normal (and it was sky high to begin with) and I noticed my appetite had totally disappeared.

Anyway, I have kept plodding on, some nights experiencing what I would refer to as limited symptom panic attacks, where I try to drift off to slip, but will wake up wired, with an odd feeling in my head which seems to radiate around my body, almost like a cold/acidic feeling all over, it's so hard to explain, which freaks me out, and I will perform breathing exercises and counting exercises to try and calm myself down.

Anyway, on Day 17, was the night that really bothered me. I hadn't had any night attacks for a good few days, but that day my head had felt quite cloudy and had that wierd sensation I explained earlier. I also went out of the house for a bit which I haven't done much of since starting my Citalopram, and then also had a conversation on the phone with a girl I haven't spoken to in ages, and my anxiety crept up high, but I held my own...but then bed time came (despite never feeling as though my body is ready to sleep, I try and go to sleep at about 1am). I wake up (if I had even been to sleep) at about 1.30am with that massive rush / sensation in my head, and my thoughts were racing terrible (which isn't common for me despite my anxiety) and I genuinely felt as though I was losing control, so I look in the mirror to see my pupils totally dilated, my palms and feet were sweating profusely, and my heart was about 110bpm - very high considering I was in a state of relaxation!

I did eventually calm myself down, but the days after that, I have felt very cloudy and somewhat detached I guess - I'm sitting here now anxious of what is to come, my head is, well, I can't seem to think at all, and I just feel horrible.

I might add, my eating unfortunately has been poor, no appetite at all, which isn't good for a 25 year old guy, and I'm losing weight quickly, (albeit muscle and not fat, damn :P).

I am worried that I am starting to feel worse than I ever have, yet this has only started to develop over the past few days, so between say Day 16 and Day 19 which is where I am now.

Could it be considered normal for this to happen? I was expecting maybe the first couple weeks to be bad, but then things to slowly but surely get better from then on, but seems I am feeling worse at this point, and I am starting to worry about my state of mind and the sensations I'm feeling.

Any kind of input at this point would be appreciated, and I will keep this log up to date with my daily progress from now on for others to follow

If you need any more info to paint a more clear picture of my situation etc, feel free to ask

David

[Johno]

Hi David,

I know where you are coming from re the citalopram. I started on this 11 May 11 on 10mg and then went up to 40mg. I had all the same side effects you are having including suicidal thoughts. The panic attacks, nauseau and sleepless nights have been annoying and I have been back to the doctor 4 times to change dosage. My doctor told me that the drug should kick in after 4 weeks which I think it did as I did have some good days. However feeling tired and lethargic has made it worse.

I have stuck with it till a week ago and then went back to the doctor as my mood had not improved I just felt flat and level. When I said I didn't think the citalopram was not working he changed me to Fluoextine (prozac) 40mg. After starting this although the first day was little strange, I have been feeling a lot better. I am still off work, as my Depression and anxiety is work related. I am hoping to return next week. I am having councelling as well.

You may need to give it longer on cit but try to get exercise and drink plenty of non-alocoholic drinks, water or decaff tea. My appetite is not too bad and I have put on weight. Try to keep busy. The breathing will help.

Everybody will tell you that the meds work differently on everybody and you may need to change. I was worried about changing as I though I might get the side effects on Prozac, but so far everthings ok. I sleep well on it also.

Regards

[Jefferiah]

Thanks for the reply Johno, at least I know I'm not alone in this.

I hate to say it, but I've been having some horrible thoughts because of the way I'm feeling, and it just seems to be getting worse, but I am just going to stick out the meds and see what happens, but I'm finding it really tough right now.

The racing thoughts is scary for me, as it feels like I'm losing the plot, although luckily, they aren't constant.

I'm sitting in the house on a Saturday night, showered and fully dressed in preperation for a night of panic and in case I have to be taken to hospital...how depressing and sad :(

[Johno]

Hi David,

It will get better. I am the same was scared to admit being depressed and anxious, but feel better for admitting it to myself. Are you going to do the quiz tonight? starts at 9pm and usually lasts for an hour, 30 questions. You just go into the chat room and change rooms. Its great fun and takes your mind of things. See you there.