Why can't I believe the Dr????

[Mogwog]

Hi all, so sorry but yes its me again rambling on about breast issues.

Well brief history - my left is lumpier than my right, especially at the bottom of the breast. I get my Dr to check them as if I do I get into a state and think Ihave breast cancer. Well I've been on Prozac since dec and was doing great but recently have been forgetting to take it regularly due my son having an ongoing illness, looking after him is literally 24/7 as he doesn't sleep and has fits etc

Anyway, I decided to check my boobs myself as I was coming up to a review with my Dr and thought "its ok cos she will be checking them in a few days anyway!" .....................big mistake I could feel allsorts of thins from lumps to ridges etc anyway dr checked and said yes they were lumpy but ok and that I had to take medicine regularly or would feel bad again.

I have started to take it properly again and feel absolutely awful! I am convinced I have breast cancer and cant stop checking my breasts and second quessing the Dr.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I have another appt with her on Fri to tell her how I am feeling agin to see what she says but I really want to be ablw to help myself.

Does anyone else get in a panic like me over their breasts? If so how do you talk yourself down and deal with it.

Advice greatly appreciated in advance.

Lxxx

[Mogwog]

anyone please?
x

[Aycie]

Hi there you very kindly answered my cry for help earlier so hope I can do same for you.
I know exactly how you feel, I havent been to the doc since January when I thought I had Pagetts! Instead of feeling better I just felt hopeless and completely unconvinced by her assurances that all was ok. Gradually I have come to realize she was right but It hasn't stopped me from finding new things to panic about. I think what needs to be done is get control of our thought processes as even when an individual symptom is explained or goes away another worry pops up. Im my case I think it's because I have a lot of stress in other parts of my life, my Mum has dementia and we were always so close and I miss being able to confide in her so I think I transfer my worries to physical symptoms to avoid facing my emotional worries. From Reading your posts Mogwog I think you may be the same, any way chin up and just know that you give good advice even if like me you can't do anything to make yourself feel better.
Aycie XX

[rosi]

Hi again. I was just going to post and ask how people stop checking and second guessing myself.

In my case I don't believe that I deserve to be happy and I know that I will sabotage myself. Several times this week I have googled, got myself into a state, checked my nipple, and gone over and over in my head what the doctor said when I saw her but it doesn't help. There is always part of me that thinks its BC. You are so not alone. I am paralyzed by fear most of the time. I aggravate and self harm my breast like a complete lunatic. I think it is an avoidance technique, other areas of my life are stressful and I have just got so used to worrying now. I swear every day I will not check and I still check because this time I want reassurance or to see actual sgns of disease.

I hope there's a way out of this.

[Mogwog]

Thank you both for your replies - I just really can't stop checking because that horrible "what if" comes into my head. This is absolutely soul destroying and I have no one to blame but myself. I had made an agreement with myself that I would not check my breasts and let my Dr do it and now I am trying to second guess her which I also feel terrible about as she is very good.

I just absolutely hate my left breast (not my right one just the left)
xx

[rosi]

I hate my left nipple. The right ones fine just this pesky left one. I have just had a bath and managed to not overly poke and prod and now I am making myself not look. Only time I stopped was when i was convinced I had something else wrong with me and when I convinced myself my boys rash was cancer.

What mad cows we all are....in the nicest possible sense.

[Mogwog]

We are mad.

I'm still checking........

xx

[Aycie]

I agree it is madness, a lot of the time I sabotage myself by worrying that if I dont check all the time then when I do get round to it there will be something there and I wont be able to remember if its new or not.
Aycie x

[Mogwog]

Thats what i'm thinking :-( xxx

[spottydogs]

It's very reassuring to read other posts by like minded crazies! (meant in the best way of course!) - I hate my right boob and it seems that it dominates my life at times of stress - it's like this giant boob that constantly tapping me on the shoulder! I was really good for ages after having NLP therapy and completely forgot about my demon right boob and then I got a bit overworked and stressed and started the checking cycle again - I usually feel reassured as soon as I check but sometimes I delve and prod too much and find other ridgy type things and get a cold sweat! I build up a really negative mental image of my right boob that's got all the symptoms going and then when I check - I suprise myself that it's actually ok! I often make it sore too and then it's like it's constantly shouting at me! I have to sit on my hands for a few days and then it goes away. NLP really did work for me - I just have to put it back into practise and get out of my crazy cycle!