carrying on the hard work

[allergyphobia]

and it IS hard work... but i am plodding on...

but i am now regularly eating things that 'may contain traces of nuts/sesame'... including bakery bread, cakes, bake your own bread etc.

also a big achievement for me last weekend was eating fish and chips from the CHIPPY... i haven't done this for probably 2 years near enough, because i was terrifed they would use peanut oil etc... i also ate mushy peas from there and a delicious pickled egg ... my boyfriend went and picked them up, i asked no questions i just ate!

also eating italian style meats now with added spices etc with no problems... cous cous with added flavours etc...marinades...

i ate a takeaway bacon and egg buttie from a cafe... another big fear

i managed to stay calm(ish) with a little help from NMP when i discovered a sesame seed on my plate during a meal whilst away from home on business.... at one time i would have had a full scale meltdown, going to a+e and everything!

at my grandfathers funeral, i ate sandwiches, pork pie and chips from a buffet that i had no idea what was in things or anything

i think it's good to look back at what i am achieving... i haven't recorded anything for a while and was starting to think i wasn't battling anymore but i know i am... my partner had a moment with me recently and just said that i am ACCEPTING my phobia and he's just expected to 'deal with it'... that i'm no longer fighting it... i don't think that's true, i'm still trying to push myself, i guess things just don't feel as big as they used to, maybe?



xxx

[t0rt01se36]

What a very positive post.

Well done allergyphobia !

Must have been difficult for you but I admire the corner you have turned.

Ju

[allergyphobia]

thanks so much ju anne, it means so much to hear your support... going on holiday to the seaside this weekend and can't wait to have some fish and chips by the sea!!

xxx

[london]

think your doing ever so well your winning god bless

[allergyphobia]

thanks Col... trying to beat the demons and fear xx

[snowgoose]

Hi

you know ....this sort of post makes me weepy for lovely lovely reasons

Your courage and absolute belief that you will recover and the truthful and kind posts you send here .

I am so pleased that you ARE recovering ...and it must be hell to put food in your mouth with such fear sometimes .

You do it !!!!! and give confidence to others to follow in your steps

keep going ....dont look back ...........and make sure you record all your success . for those wobbly moments and then look back at how far you have come .

hope you get your hope to be a Samaritan or help on an anxiety website .
only those who truly know eh?

[Hazel B]

Thanks for the update! You're going from strength to strength and I'm really pleased for you.

Well done!

[allergyphobia]

thank you so much for your replies xxx

only those that truly know indeed snow... hoping to re-start my mental health course that got cancelled back in february, in september... just an evening class but cannot wait. i went to a samaritans information session and have to admit it is not for me... not allowed to give advice, only listen... if people are harming themselves on the phone you have to just be there for them...not help in any way... i am not strong enough for that...

i hope people read this post...as i had another successful weekend

i ate fish and chips twice whilst on holiday from different shops in the middle of NOwhere...one by the seaside, and one with a chinese next door...prompting me to shake and shiver that they'd share peanut oil to cook the chips... but i munched on, and was fine!!

very pleased with my progress. at one point i would give every excuse under the sun not to try something, saying i was too far away from home, i felt under the weather or too tired... "if i wasn't *insert excuse here* i would try that....".... but now more and more i push myself to keep on fighting.

thanks for being here