Med free but...

[weevil]

And miserable.

Not that I'm begging for some, I was given a week to decide whether I wanted to try mirtazapine. Anti depressants used to work a bit and then stop. But the last 3 I tried had a bad reaction, totally changing my thoughts and mostly making me hurt or want to hurt myself. I don't have much time before someone decides whether I'm stable enough to go back to Uni and didn't want to waste it on another drug that might do the same thing. Mirtazapine didn't sound nice from other people's experiences, especially the drowsiness which I definitely don't want right now.

But I barely had to refuse it, in the meantime my GP had read the list of behaviour I'd given another doctor over the phone when I realised how mad it all was and got worried. She said with out of control highs I shouldn't be on any anti-depressants. A psychologist has already said I'm possibly too complicated for just her and now my GP said the same.

I think I'm bi bolar, the recent behaviour was rare as it wasn't caused by any medication. And now I've crashed and I'm miserable. Yet I had anxiety then and I have it now, it's worse now but you wouldn't know because I don't show physical signs. I'm just scared to go out, talk to people, use the phone and barely have any energy so am laying down a lot and just want to sleep.

I kind of want meds now, just to stop this.

[kibbutz83]

Hi, wish I could say something supportive, but it's not something that I can judge or comment on :( I was taking venlafaxine for a while for ptsd symptoms... the psychiatrist then wanted me to change to mirtazapine. I went through a pretty awful withdrawal, then decided I'd take a chance and be drug-free. I'm not finding it at all easy, but think I've done so much damage to myself being on and off ad's for almost 18 years, that it's maybe time to give my body a break... and maybe learn to cope with life without the chemical assistance I wish you luck on this tough journey x

[ElizabethJane]

And miserable.

Not that I'm begging for some, I was given a week to decide whether I wanted to try mirtazapine. Anti depressants used to work a bit and then stop. But the last 3 I tried had a bad reaction, totally changing my thoughts and mostly making me hurt or want to hurt myself. I don't have much time before someone decides whether I'm stable enough to go back to Uni and didn't want to waste it on another drug that might do the same thing. Mirtazapine didn't sound nice from other people's experiences, especially the drowsiness which I definitely don't want right now.

But I barely had to refuse it, in the meantime my GP had read the list of behaviour I'd given another doctor over the phone when I realised how mad it all was and got worried. She said with out of control highs I shouldn't be on any anti-depressants. A psychologist has already said I'm possibly too complicated for just her and now my GP said the same.

I think I'm bi bolar, the recent behaviour was rare as it wasn't caused by any medication. And now I've crashed and I'm miserable. Yet I had anxiety then and I have it now, it's worse now but you wouldn't know because I don't show physical signs. I'm just scared to go out, talk to people, use the phone and barely have any energy so am laying down a lot and just want to sleep.

I kind of want meds now, just to stop this.

Hello Weevil. I'm speaking from the meds camp. I am taking mirtazapine 45mg and lithium 1,000mg currently stable. I'm not bi-polar. I have found mirtazapine the best anti depressant I have been on. It reduces my anxiety and prevents the crippling depression that I used to know. The lithium prevents the big highs and lows that I used to experience. If you think that you might be bi-polar then seeing a psychiatrist and obtaining a diagnosis of your problems might be an idea. It is no good to self diagnose. You are correct in thinking that anti depressants are not the first line treatment for someone with bi-polar. Usually you would be put on a mood stabiliser and sometimes an anti depressant as well. Anti depressants can make people with bi-polar go into a 'high state' I sympathise that at present you might not be getting the correct treatment. It has taken me many years to reach the point that I am at now. I believe that without medication if you are indeed bi-polar life will become increasingly difficult. Don't give up. EJ.