First few days frightening

[Pongowaring]

Hi all

I'm currently having a bad time. I've taken citalopram before, four years ago, and it worked for me. I remember side effect that time, but they didnt go beyond a rough first day.

This time, though, it seems way worse. I'm taking 20mg, same as the previous time. My problem is general anxiety plus occasional panic attacks.

Day 1. Took pill midday or so. No immediate change.

Day 2. Ok in morning, afternoon felt increased dizziness, fatigue and nausea. It was a Sunday so it was less disruptive to put up with.

Day 3. Went to work as usual. OK in morning - ok in the sense of just my usual anxiety. Early evening started to feel increased anxiety, trembling, sweating, legs and arms tinglng, dizziness, restlessness. Had dull headache most of the night. Took a sleeping tablet, managed somehow to sleep very well.

Day 4. Woke up feeling increasingly anxious and with the same symptoms. Stayed off work as didn't feel up to driving. Spent the day feeling waves of anxiety go through my body. Basically my usual symptoms but in overdrive. Feel very weak, uncommunicative with partner, a feeling of just wanting to be left alone.

Also found my mind racing uncontrollably, thoughts - negative ones, "how long will this last?", "what if it doesn't get better?" - constantly in my mind. Appetite also pretty much zero.

Go to bed and have worst night I think I have had in years, an absolute nervous wreck, waves of anxiety, negative thoughts racing through mind, spend the whole night sweating and barely sleeping.

I've just woken up on day five and am wondering whether this is an extreme reaction or the norm., and whether to give it up or reduce my dose.

I don't want to give up, and with reducing my dose I worry that it is just going to mean the same side no but with it taking longer to kick in and for them to go away.

To make things more complicated, for the lastt few years I've been using alcohol to take the edge off the anxiety (although I know it makes things worse long term). Nothing major, a glass or two of wine, but pretty much every night. Last time on cit, I didn't stop drinking. This time, I have stopped, and I suspect that that is contributing to the worse side effects, but would it make this much difference?

I'm worried about how long this will last and whether it is typical. Part of me says "it is normal, just ride it out" whereas another part says "this is much worse than it should be".

Really not in a good place right now. Thanks for listening.

[no_name]

Absolutely normal is what you are describing, especially in the beginning of the treatment. Alcohol is really not a good thing to drink while taking citalopram. No need to reduce the dose, you just have to wait at least 2-4 weeks till the pill kicks in. Don't listen to the part of you that says "this is much worse than it should be". I myself have thought the same thing millions of times but it is never 'real', it's just your condition making you feel/think pesimistic that you are really in bad condition and you will never recover from that nightmare... Absolutely WRONG! You can ask your Dr. for some sedative/anxiolytic (Xanax for example) for a couple of weeks while the AD kicks in, it will really help you be calm (the only bad thing is it makes you sleepy but you really feel relaxed). I took it for 5 weeks the last time and almost had no panic attacks.

[Pongowaring]

Hi

Thanks for the reply. Do you mean 2-4 weeks for the citalopram to have an effect on where I was before I started taking it, or am improvement on the heightened state I am in now?

The state I am in now is best described as being like a bad case of flu combined with the worst anxiety ever, and - at least for two days - has stopped me from functioning.

Strangely, the reason I went back to my doctor for help this time was that my anxiety was bringing on near constant IBS symptoms. Those seem to have totally disappeared in four days.

[Yorkman]

I'm similar to you, I've been on 20mg cit for a week. I find it hard going, yesterday i was in bed most of the day.
I also used to often have alcohol to take the edge off ( just a few shorts at night) but I haven't had a droP since Starting the cit.

[no_name]

2-4 weeks to improve your current condition and probably another month to make you feel 'normal' like before. Well, everybody's different of course, but as i said you have to take the medicine at least a month before discussing the further options with your Dr. no matter if the medicine works for you or not (of course, if you can cope with the side effects and they are not unbearable).

[Pongowaring]

Thanks, no_name.

Yorkman - I have a feeling not drinking is making it way more difficult.I guess I had come to rely on it more than I would have liked to admit.

What sort of side effects are you having?

[Pongowaring]

Well, today was pretty horrible.

This evening, I know it's not advisable, but I allowed myself half a glass of wine, and the effect was pretty immediate - much calmer.

I'm hoping this will now help me get some sleep this evening.

[Pongowaring]

Well, today is day 7.

Yesterday, I felt a little perkier, managed to do some work (at home) which helped me a lot.

I think part of the key with the side effects is to try not to dwell on it (which is hard given that a couple of days before, I felt worse than I've ever felt in my life) and to try to find something to do to keep your mind busy.

Last night I actually felt considerably better, left the house for a bit (only to go to the supermarket, buy hey, at the start of this week, I could barely stand up, I felt so awful).

This morning, woke up feeling pretty anxious and concerned that yesterday was just a blip and it was going to be bad, and I've been so-so all day, but again, nowhere near as bad as earlier this week.

NB though, I am currently looking at "how do I get to feel like i was BEFORE I started the tablets last week" - ie how long till the side effects wear off sufficiently.

I'm not at that point yet, still not feeling too good, but it is bearable.

Once I get to the point i was at last week, pre meds, then I'll look at it in terms of "how long till I feel better than I had been feeling for months before that".

On the positive side, the sheer unpleasantness of this week has shown me two things I can be positive about

1. I thought I was as bad as it could get before i took the meds. I have now had a taste of the fact it can actually be much worse. I'll take that as a positive going forward.

2. When the side effects were worst, on Tuesday, and I was a jibbering wreck, I thought it was not going to get any better for a long while. I now know that this was not the case, which gives me more hope for the long term.

[Pongowaring]

Day 10.

weird. Yesterday and the day before, started feeling much better. Was out and about quite a lot (weekend).

Thought about going back to work the next few days.

Then, tonight (well, 2 hours ago) woke up at 3am feeling awful, shaking uncontrollably, sweating, head incredibly woozy, like the evening of day four. Currently lying in bed with a wet towel on my head to cool down, but it was absolutely horrible.

It was a bit strange, not a panic attack as I normally experience them, but a horrible whooshing, feeling in my head.

I'm a bit scared, the side effects seemed to have subsided hugely the last couple of days but now I feel a bit back at square one after a spell free of the side effects.

I do wonder, though, the last thing I did before going to bed was take two Kalms. I wonder if this is a coincidence.

[Pongowaring]

After a truly hideous day 10, I've had a pretty excellent day 11 and 12.

Girlfriend had the day off, so we went out for the day, had a nice, pretty relaxed time. For the first time since starting cit I felt it was working for me rather than against me.

I know it won't be all plain sailing but I hope this is the start of a corner being turned.