Re: Was my dad suffering with PTSD?
I find your post really interesting Shirl. I had cause to think about my dad and his problems the other day, and what role WW2 might have played in them. The question that popped into my mind - and I think this was the first time this had ever occurred to me - was I wonder if he had PTSD?
My dad, who had been a prisoner of war in Germany, was very critical and quite an angry person although I wouldn't say he was bitter, more emotionally remote. I never felt he had much interest in me and certainly never felt loved. A lot of things went on and it is only in retrospect I have realised this was because he suffered from mental health problems. I know he was addicted to tranquillisers at one stage.
I'll never know now if any of this was due to his POW experiences or if it was just the way he was. The idea of PTSD has given me something to think about though. I know I am still affected on a daily basis by the way my childhood was.
I'd bet anything that your dad didn't actually hate you. I'd also like to stress that none of the negativity of your relationship with your dad was YOUR FAULT (something I've been trying to tell myself for years with varying degrees of success).
Have you ever had counselling or seen a psychiatrist or psychologist? I've found that helped me to understand myself a lot better. CBT in particular can be quite good for those of us who suffer from low self-esteem and negativity about oneself as a result of the way a parent behaved towards us.
Hope it helps to know you are not alone. I'm happy to talk more any time xx
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She said, I'm tired of the war
I want the kind of work I had before