Relapse! Coping, Symptoms and Tips.

[pulisa]

I hope your Mum gets her op as soon as it is safe for her to do so..What a worry for you but she is so lucky to have such a caring and devoted daughter and yes, you can both plan for happier and healthier times ahead. Spring is coming, things will get easier and better. Every day might be a bit of a marathon at the moment but it won't always be like this xxx

[Carnation]

Lovely words Pulisa x

[MRS STRESS ED]

I hope your Mum gets her op as soon as it is safe for her to do so..What a worry for you but she is so lucky to have such a caring and devoted daughter and yes, you can both plan for happier and healthier times ahead. Spring is coming, things will get easier and better. Every day might be a bit of a marathon at the moment but it won't always be like this xxx

Oh bless you Trish what a lovely thing to say, I am only doing what l know you lovely ladies would do too, how are you and your family hope you are all well,

I can honestly you ladies are lovely kind and caring thanks for being here xx ❤

[Carnation]

Mrs S, I think it is a good idea to tell your mum about future plans to do, it will keep her mind positive.

Like Pulisa has said, it won't always be like this.
I've done a marathon for real, lol, when I was young and fit, and it's a hard slog not being able to see the end in sight and worrying if you'll ever get to the end of it all.
The pandemic is just like that, with the added worry of people you know and love also making it through.
If course anxiety will be high and it is so difficult to keep positive and see beyond the situation we are all in.
On top of that we our own normal health worries in the mix and the struggle of dealing with our anxiety symptoms and thoughts.
So it's best to keep busy and as active as you can be.

I read that our sleep can be affected by this situation.
I'm having two or three dreams most nights and so surreal they are. I'm waking up startled thinking it's about 7am when it turns out to be 2 or 3am.
I feel fatigue as if I've done a hard day's work, but read that this can be due to lockdown fatigue.
I find myself napping during the day, even though I've been in bed for up to nine hours.
We worry so much about how we are feeling, but the truth is, a lot of people are feeling the same way you feel.
When I wake up in the morning and open the curtains, I see my neighbours curtains and blinds still closed. Neighbours that used to be up with the lark.
I used to see activity with people cleaning their cars, pottering around the garden, chatting to passers by, people out walking, children playing, but nothing!
But I do see the wildlife and the nature. The birds foraging for food and cats prowling around people's gardens and its times like this you have to tune into nature, because nature never stops, it keeps going and it gives you Hope! x

[Carnation]

Just updating on my week.....


Since my last post the Beast from the East left us with snow drifts and minus temperatures with wind that would take your hat off, the boiler broke down, and the birds are eating nuts like its going out of fashion.
My anxiety has loved latching on to bad weather and catastrophes and there's been a lot of high anxiety and near PAs.
My eyes feel murky a lot of the time and that waddling around the house like a duck is very exhausting. The waddling is my version of trying to get grounded.
But! I've been out. Cleared most of the snow, fed the birds, popped to the shop. Sadly I didn't make my snowman. Those feel like - 8 conditions was just a touch too cold for me to be rolling snow around and looking for twigs for arms. Not sparing a carrot either as much needed for more many casseroles on these cold days.
The TV has been blur, so working my way through films on Netflix.
But the days are getting noticeably longer and the snow brings sunshine and brightness. Which is more than I can say for Boris or Matt Hancock. In fact I'd go even further by saying those two change more than the weather. They give us a little bit of hope then take it away, a little more, then take it away. So people stop trusting and believing. Well that seems to be the consensus with us mere civilians.
All this waiting and hanging around is not easy to live with and we look for things to keep our minds satisfied.
I found myself opening cupboard drawers and staring at its contents and wondering why there is 12 screwdrivers in it and then thinking what job I could do to use them, lol.
Then I go and check the kitchen cupboards to see if I have enough emergency foods just in case we are not allowed out at all or the Supermarkets run out or decide to ration us. Oops, there's my worry mind going into action again.
Realistically, I'm sure I won't starve as I'm sure I won't be using any of those 12 screwdrivers.
I do however need more PJs as it seems to be my outfit these days. Even nipping to the rubbish bin, i just chuck on a coat and boots and no one knows my bedtime attire.
Maybe this years fashion will be PJ bottoms and t. Shirts with a sloppy jumper. No makeup became its pointless with a face mask. And unruly hair with 6 inches of your natural hair colour from your roots.
But at least we won't be judged for the way we look because we'll all look like sh it!
Anyway, we just have to plod on in our own little way and we shouldn't forget to praise ourselves for coping in these circumstances. Even anxiety has no competition with this new world order. But nature does. Even if Boris lifted the lockdown this week, we still wouldn't have been able to go out because of the weather conditions. Vaccines were cancelled and bin collections halted.
Nature will have the last word always and nature provides life and new beginnings. We are nature and we will have new beginnings too!

[Carnation]

I'm feeling a little anxious today.
As I said in my previous post, our boiler broke down about a week ago. Right in the crux of minus temperatures, so not brilliant timing.
I dealt with it pretty well. Collected a load of portable heaters, put the emersion on for hot water etc.
But today an engineer is coming to assess the damage and its obviously making me feel anxious.
We were supposed to have been informed yesterday whether it was morning or afternoon, but hey, guess what? They didn't. So I set my alarm very early and sods law, they've informed me they are coming this afternoon. And up to 6pm!! The situation has thrown my meal times out for the whole day. I had my breakfast early and we will have an early lunch and probably late dinner.
Now I don't know why but I obsess about the mealtimes. I'm ok with half an hour each way, but when it goes into an hour or over it makes me feel panicky.
It's not like I'm going to die if I don't eat at 1pm or 7pm as Mr C tells me so often, but my brain goes into all sorts of weird thoughts.
The same with sleep. I worry about not getting the standard quota of sleep and think something terrible will happen to me if I don't.
I had to be up early today incase the engineer came first thing and now my meals are all over the place as well.
Let alone someone coming in the house when we have been so strict about people entering our home.
It's definitely not good for my anxiety.
But it's got to be done and I've taken all the necessary precautions.
So it's not my best day today and I'm trying to keep distracted.

[Carnation]

The engineer came early. Still in my PJs lol.
Fixed the boiler. Meal times safe.
See how we think and catastrophise (can't even spell it) unnecessarily.

[pulisa]

I'd be the same, Carnation. Very glad he's been and gone and you now have heat and hot water. Sod's law that it's now much milder.

Horribly uncomfortable when you are at the mercy of the engineer's schedule xx

[Carnation]

Thanks Pulisa. Feel mentally exhausted now. xx

[pulisa]

At least you know that you won't be disturbed for the rest of the day and can please yourself xx