My Current Numerous Worries

[jojo2316]

Firstly I would like to say how brilliant certain people on this forum are. Pulisa, FMP, Nora B and Blue Iris, to name but a few. You put such effort into trying to help people, often with little reward, and your comments are always insightful and so wise. I am so thankful to all of you. I can honestly say your help has made as much difference to me as any therapist over the years.
But- in defence of Reb, it is incredibly hard to shake off any mental health disorder completely, and perhaps especially this one. I see it as a disease with periods of remission and periods of inevitable replapse. So perhaps a certain amount of repetition is also necessary.

[Fishmanpa]

But- in defence of Reb, it is incredibly hard to shake off any mental health disorder completely, and perhaps especially this one. I see it as a disease with periods of remission and periods of inevitable replapse. So perhaps a certain amount of repetition is also necessary.

6 years, two identities (Reb/helenhoo) and 350 threads is not indicative of of someone who is having periods of remission and relapses. The fact this thread is now 152 pages long and 2 years old is affirmation that repetition in this case is a kin to banging your head against a wall. Reb said she's starting therapy next week. Frankly, she's said that many times through the years and when questioned, ignores it and carries on as usual. I don't know about anyone else, but knowing the history, I'll BIWISI.

FMP

[helenhoo]

First theraoy was at Hawthorns in West Bromwich, 2017
Second time was a church in Oldbury, 2018
I had a private therapist for a months 2019
This time it's through healthier minds, talking therapies via video link with a lady called rupinder.
What else do you need to know? Their contact number? Their shoe size. Why on earth would I be making up my condition, surely after 5 years I'd have ended up in an institute of sort if I'm so apparently delusion and making up identities. My name is Rebecca but I used Helen to cover my identity as private issue but someone decided to out me there too.

[Carys]

I believe you've had cbt. I believe it because I saw a total change in your behaviour on here for a few weeks some time ago. The moment you stopped your sessions you stopped working on the skills they taught you. That is why it fails each and every time. You lack the motivation and don't engage with the principles the moment you finish the final session.

[Fishmanpa]

I believe you've had cbt. I believe it because I saw a total change in your behaviour on here for a few weeks some time ago. The moment you stopped your sessions you stopped working on the skills they taught you. That is why it fails each and every time. You lack the motivation and don't engage with the principles the moment you finish the final session.

Exactly! It's interesting. When you're challenged to the point it presses a button, you respond in a way unlike your normal replies and posts. It shows there is a normal person underneath all the anxiety. Maybe someday, that person will become prominent

FMP

[Carys]

Its interesting, I agree. The two identities are not your names, they are -

1. The person who repeats and repeats questions about health (for years), doesn't listen, shows no logic, doesn't thank people, doesn't reply to posts, feels constantly anxious, needs constant reassurance, and - to be frank with you - isn't someone who replying to is worth it.

2. The person who can reply clearly and succinctly with a direct posting style, reads and responds, feels pride and cheerfulness when their therapy is working and shows positive steps to the other members as they work on their problems.

The second person, the real Rebecca, seldom shows her face here, but when she does she is far removed from Helenhoo. You've been told this by nearly everyone who posts on your threads, for years. Therapy isn't a miracle 'cure', you have to be committed to following the principles for years and years, you have to challenge yourself, be firm with yourself in following the strategies that worked, its hard work. Until you accept this and fully commit to the effort required the next set of cbt will fail, and the next.

[helenhoo]

It's coming round quickly and now nerves are kicking in. I don't know what to expect and fearing worst or even finding issues I weren't aware of. How do cope with hospital anxiety?

[Speranza]

Not a lot to go on here... what is it for, and have you been to the department before?

[helenhoo]

First appointment made. I've had 2 ear infections since March, suspected eustachian tube dysfunction and wake up congested most mornings. Since 2nd ear infection I've developed tinitus in the same ear too.

[helenhoo]

Seeking reassurance please after faint and panic feeling.

This morning went from dark room looking directly into a light room and window had the glare. My initial reaction was panic "what if this was visual symptom" and then came a headrush down my head and face.

I calmed self down, distracted myself and told myself it was from the bright window + steam from kettle. But since then I've felt head pressure and in my face and neck. Like faint feeling lurking. Is this what panic feels like? Believe it or not I rarely have panic attacks, usually anxiety attacks my bowels. More I think about the feeling, I can feel it. I know it's hot in UK and I'm making sure I'm drinking loads.

Kind words please.