agitated

[PITITA]

I feel so agitated, I can't shake it off. All the symptoms of anxiety are here: shakey, trembling, dizzy, unreal feelings...etc. What brought it on is that I had been thinking about how likely it is for me to go over into insanity from anxiety. I have a family history of schizophrenia. My grandad had it, ended with suicide, my rbother had it, same ending, and now my dad is showing all the symptoms as he just had a stroke 3 months ago and it left him with delusional "mental impairement", paranoid schizophrenia.
Here is my thoughts on it:

1. My family has a history of mental illnesses, that makes me genetically predesposed to it :(
2. That makes it even more likely that I will have it too
3. In fact I'm so prone to paranoid thinking myself, that surely is an indicator
4. Because I already have such a "weak" character, I'm nowhere near tough, I can't even shake off the anxiety and be rational about it.
5. I keep hearing, seeing "reminders" of this fear everyhwere. Seeing people on the streets talking to themselves, hearing from dad every day how he is being followed by members of the maffia...etc. Even films love to use this illness as a great twist for film endings (eg. Fight Club)

It all just fuels the fear and although I try my best to NOT give in to the fear I keep thinking its just inevitable to happen to me too :(:(:(

On top of that I have to go to work in a minute, but am feeling soooo crap :(

Anyone has a "rational" insight?

[Piglet]

My family has a history of mental illnesses, that makes me genetically predesposed to it :(

1. That makes it even more likely that I will have it too
2. In fact I'm so prone to paranoid thinking myself, that surely is an indicator
3. Because I already have such a "weak" character, I'm nowhere near tough, I can't even shake off the anxiety and be rational about it.
4. I keep hearing, seeing "reminders" of this fear everyhwere. Seeing people on the streets talking to themselves, hearing from dad every day how he is being followed by members of the maffia...etc. Even films love to use this illness as a great twist for film endings (eg. Fight Club)

Hi Anita hun,

Answer Ques 2 - I think you are prone to anxious thinking hun, not paranoid thinking!!!

Answer Ques 3 - You do not have a 'weak' character - you have a sensitive character. We all know people with anxiety are incredibably courageous!!

People who may develop the condition you talk about don't worry about it first because they wouldn't be aware of it happening - it would seem quite normal to them.

Everybody with anxiety has an issue for their anxiety to feed on - or we wouldnt have anxiety. This is just your particular achilles heel lovie! Once you try and not care it will lose it's grip over you!!

Love Piglet

[spuds]

As I understand it, people who are really mentally ill do not know or realise they are ill. If you are able to worry about it, you have anxiety. My grandmother had to have electro convulsive therapy, but I honestly do not worry about mental illness. The stroke may have caused your father's mental problems and that is a result of a physical thing not a mental illness.

Piglet is right - worrying about mental illness is your thing - mine is my heart. The symptoms you describe seem to me to fit anxiety or even post-traumatic stress syndrome, which wouldn't be surprising when you think about the shocks you've had and the stress you must be under.

Have you seen your GP to tell him/her how you are feeling? They may be able to refer you to counselling or a support group. My friend gets support and counselling because her mum has serious depression.

I am sure you are fine - your anxiety is latching on to the nearest thing. My mum died very suddenly from a heart attack, so that is always at the back of my mind. My husband worries a bit about diabetes because his dad and aunt have it.

Lots of people here will recommend Claire Weekes book "Self Help for Your Nerves" to help you overcome your anxiety. I hope you feel better soon.

[judipat]

Petita
I dont know how old you are but it sounds as if you've been through a lot and this is bound to have an affect on you. Because you are prone to anxiety - it sound as if this is how it is all affecting you. I think you really need to talk to a councillor to encourage you to think positive thoughts. (easier said than done - i know).
Its hard, I'm feeling pretty crap at the moment and trying to work my way through it.
I agree with spuds about the book. When I had my first experience of anxiety/panic attacks, I found a book in the library, and it was called "hope and help for your nerves" by Dr Clair Weeks. It was my bible for years.
Hope you feel better soon
Judi

[PITITA]

Piglet, hi I love it how you always come to my rescue!!!! Big squeezeee for that! yep, your absolutely right, this IS my thing. It has been for the last 3 years, you know the story by now...LoL

Am still feeling crap and scared as usual, like I want to jump out of my skin, and my vision was very distorted today, I see all kinds of black spots kind of floating in front of my eyes and sometimes they go white and I just feel like my eyes are not 100% functional at the moment. I also have terrible derealisation, as if I am disconnected from my body..kind of 3 steps behind.

Spuds thanks for your sweet reply, its easier said than done NOT to worry, but I see the point in it I just feel useless as I'm just going around in circles and I know it...was hoping that soon the circles would just become straight lines...LoL. BTW I ordered Self help for your nerves on amazon today...yeyyyy!

Judipat, thanks for your reply as well!!!!! It's always nice to know that there is someone out there who KNOWS what your on about...LoL
Sorry to hear your going through a tough time as well, I wish you all the best

Anita xxx

[Piglet]

I also have terrible derealisation, as if I am disconnected from my body..kind of 3 steps behind.
Anita xxx

Isn't that just horrible - now that's the sort of feeling that makes you feel like you're losing it doesn't it. Somehow we think we are the only ones that feel like that. It's so common hun as to be ridiculous but I hope it wears off for you soon.

I'm glad you've ordered the Claire Weekes book - no self respecting anxiety sufferer should be without it - let us know what you think. When I first got it years ago I was almost too scared to read it that's how crap I felt.

Big hugs

Love Piglet

[spuds]

I had the detachment thing for months - just felt like I couldn't engage with even my children, couldn't face talking to others. It is a classic symptom of PTSD. It will pass, I promise. The Claire Weekes book was my Bible for months - took it upstairs at bedtime, brought it down in the morning. Kept it on the settee. Dipped into it whenever I felt really bad. If I win the lottery I am going to buy the rights to it and sell it in WH Smith's for 50p. No, really, I am. Every home should have a copy.

[dizzy]

i cant imagine wat ur going through but the first step you need to take is to stop being scared. you cant spend the rest of your life wondering when you will develop it!!! it might never happen!!!! dont waste the good time you have now, thinking you might get it...because you may never even get it..as for your "weak" character..make it stronger, you're the only one that can bulid up a defence for urself and shake of the anxiety and fear. life's too short for you to worry about something there is no guarantee about..
the main thing is ur life now, the truth is noone is 100% sure where we will be tomoro never mind in years to come..just concentrate on the here and now, you have to shake this off..even developing something like schizophrenia is not the end of the world..it is treatable, you can even over come that...but only if ur willing to put up a fight!