Constant state of near panic

[NewYorkgirl]

I know that this isnt directly a HA but it is affecting me in the same way. I appear to have transferred my anxiety from myself to my daughter. She has just started Year 6 primary school and is 10. She has developed a few pimples and spots on her nose and I'm convincing myself she will develop full blown acne before she even hits high school. I have introduced a good skin care regime but it literally consumes my every waking moment. I constantly think will she be bullied and have low self esteem and hate school. I scrutinise her face all the time and picture her sitting by herself feeling sad. How do I deal with this?.I'm not eating or sleeping at all. What if she does develop acne, I won't be able to deal with her suffering like that. I'm trapped in a cycle again

[WHITEDETH]

Yep thats exactly what youve done. Your anxiety has manifested itself on to your daughter. Its rational to nog want your child to be bullied but the obsession is irrational. We all know we get spots (hell i still do now) and if it does develop just take her to the docs and you can pretty mu h get it sorted. Even when i was a kid (im 34 now) i had this stuff to put on and it stung like hell but cleared it up within a few days. You kust need to focus on something else because otherwise youll start a vi iois circle and ha ing suffered crippling obsessive compulsive disorder you do NOT want that to happen. Of course yet again its easier said than done unfortunatly so you just have to try and do what i had to. Lwt ghe thought enter amd let it leave. Dont fo us on it, dont give it the fime of day because if you do it will be back. Juat think "yeah she might get acne but well sort that oht when the time comes" and in the mean time try amd relax and do things to diatract yourself.

[nomorepanic]

All of this is part of growing up though and normal and you can't stop normal things from happening.

If you make an issue of it though you will make things worse for her.

What are you doing to treat your anxiety?

[NewYorkgirl]

Thank you for your replies. I am desperatly trying not to make an issue out of it and be light hearted in front of her. I have downloaded the CBT available on here and trying to use relaxation techniques. I'm still struggling with my own HA and this is an awful new slant on it. I'm normally so rational about my children but whether it's because she is my youngest and I'm struggling with her growing up and going to high school next year or it's just my HA cranking it up a notch, I don't know. I'm feeling terrible right now because I have to go and collect her from school shortly and I imagine her coming out covered in spots or upset because someone has said something. Then when I do get her I'm constantly trying to discreetly look at her. I'm feeling very out of control at the moment.

[ankietyjoe]

There's a good chance that she'll be suffering more because of your anxiety (which she can probably pick up on) than 'maybe' getting acne.

You're possibly making her self conscious of something she wouldn't have otherwise even noticed.

[NewYorkgirl]

And that's exactly what I don't want to happen. I don't want her to pick up on my anxiety. I do think I'm hiding it well but it's constantly on my mind with no respite. I realise who ridiculous I sound but I can't bear the thought of her suffering.

[lucymarie]

And that's exactly what I don't want to happen. I don't want her to pick up on my anxiety. I do think I'm hiding it well but it's constantly on my mind with no respite. I realise who ridiculous I sound but I can't bear the thought of her suffering.

Most children have acne at some point, it’s just part of growing up. Right now your daughter is happy and that’s all you need to focus on. You sound like you have a good relationship so trust that if she has any issues with other children she will let you know and IF that happens you can deal with it and look out for her then. Chances are it won’t even come about but worrying about it now will only give your daughter a complex and like you have said you don’t want that.

[Fishmanpa]

I agree you have to be careful with little ones and projecting your anxiety. My ex suffered from severe depression and while my son doesn't suffer, my daughter is affected with depression and anxiety. My mother suffered from mental illness and while I'm not a sufferer, my sister has anxiety issues and takes meds to help.

Pertaining the children, just be aware they pick up on things that we have no idea they see or perceive. When my ex and I were really struggling, my daughter, who was 5 at the time, asked us "How come you and daddy never hug and kiss like other moms and dads?" That was a real wake up call that the effects of our failing marriage was affecting the children. The same thing happens with anxiety. If they pick up on it, it can affect them.

Speak to your doctor. Maybe a low dose med to help quiet your mind and real life professional help would be beneficial.

Positive thoughts

[NewYorkgirl]

Thank you for your replies. I have contacted my GP as i think this is going the wrong way again. I know I'm not coping. I'm apprehensive about going as we moved house 18mths ago and although will have my history infront of them they don't actually KNOW me. But I have to face that. My girls are my absolute world and the thought of projecting my anxieties on to them is not an option.

[NewYorkgirl]

I thought I would come back on this thread as I'm really not feeling any better regarding my daughter. I feel like I've transferred all my anxiety from myself onto her. I am constantly worrying about her. Even to the point of having full blown panic attacks. The spots on her face are still there and it's still keeping me awake thinking she will be bullied or have no confidence. I'm not eating and sleeping is sporadic too. My partner and older children are noticing the change in me. I'm seeking reassurance from them that she is ok and not sad. I feel like I'm spiralling again.