Strange symptoms /Anxiety

[Kiko22]

Hi!
My name is Eleonora and i'm from italy (so forgive me if my english is not perfect)
I have a serius health anxiety problem that started in July 2014. I woke up one day and I felt like all my left side was somehow tighter in my clothes than my right side. It is difficult to explain this if you can't feel it but I will try to explain.
I know everyone is a little asymmetrical but suddenly it was as I could feel every little asymmetry in my body. My left arm, shoulder, breast and back felt suddenly tighter inside my clothes as if I was wearing a tight band around all this zone.
I've always had very slight scoliosis and it didn't get worse according to my orthopedic (it is barely 10 degree curve...barely a real scoliosis). So, according to my doctor it is not my back the problem.
Then I noticed that my left bresat was larger (I was on bc pill and it was it that caused my asymmetry) but according to my doctor and my gynecologist nearly every woman has it and it doesn't cause my problem.
Not convinced I had two ultrasounds that were absolutely clear but found two lymphnodes of about 1 cm under both armpits (obviously my left armpit started to hurt even if my bigger lymphnode was on the right side).
These lymphnode were declared nothing to worry about but today I can still feel the pain under my left armpit even if i had it checked again in 2016 and there wasn't any palpable lymphnode anymore. So why does it hurt? Nobody knows.

I started to wear loose clothes that didn't bother me(I had only two "good" shirts that I would wash and reuse hundreds of times).
Clothes sent shivers on my left side but only when I was clothed (when I'm naked I don't feel those shivers)
I continued with my research but I found nothing like my symptoms on the internet. I consulted a neurologist in August 2015 but he found nothing wrong apart for my scoliosis and said it was anxiety.
I started to wear normal clothes again and my symptoms started to lessen over time. But what started as a "tight sensation" became real panick attacks.
I'll try to explain batter.
Now I wear pretty much everything and it doesn't bother me but everytime I feel my clothes a little bit tighter on my left side I have a panic attack. During this moments I think of my symptoms like they are something else, something that is on my body but is not part of my body (I don't know if this makes sense)
I attempted suicide after a particulary bad panic attack.
I went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with some mild bipolar dysorder and prescribed me an EEG (clear) blood tests for hormones as my mother and her brother had both tyroid cancer (clear) . She gave me escitalopram and clonazepam and referred me to a therapist.
I have to be honest I feel much batter now but my symptoms are still slightly there.
I went to another neurologist that excluded again both my scoliosis and my breast asymmetry as part of the problem and prescribed me a MRI after I pratically begged her even if she didn't see a real reason to do so (in Italy you can have this type of prescriptions only if your doctor is 100/ sure you need it...that's why I never had one before in four years...according to my doctors there was nothing wrong with me)
Now i'm waiting for my MRI.

symptoms now:
Sense of being restricted by my clothes when I move my left arm.
I can't wear bras anymore because the left cup is tighter under my breast and my left strap is tighter on my shoulder and left side of my back. My left strap falls down my shoulder constantly.
I feel constantly rotated because of this sensation.
My left armpit hurts
I can't seem to walk straight even if I don't have leg weekness.
I think about it all the time and I'm going crazy!!!

Fears/Health anxiety :
Brain tumor
Spinal tumor/degeneration/collapse ecc (I don't have back pain)
SLA
MS
Lymphoma
Breast cancer
I'm honestly scared I have some serious problem and I'm eventually going to die one day.
You would say : You attempted suicide and are scared of death?
Yes. I would prefer suicide to dying of an unknown, overlooked disease.
But I'm also scared of living the rest of my life like this.

I don't know what to do. If simeone could answer me and give me advices /talk about their experiences that would be much appreciated.
Thanks!

[Speranza]

Hi,

I would say that the illnesses you are afraid of would have presented more symptoms after four years. It is really very likely to be anxiety. Parlo italiano ma non perfettamente, se vuoi scrivami. (I speak Italian but it's not perfect - write to me if you like).

Gill

[Kiko22]

So I found out my armpit pain is caused by an ingrown hair so nothing to worry about at least in my armpit...

[Kiko22]

Now I'm scared I have breast cancer. I can't sleep at night but I won't be doing another test (I've had 5 tests to my breast) but I'm scared anyway

[Meows]

Hi Kiko, reading your post reminded me of body dysmorthia. Have you had any therapy for HA?

[Kiko22]

Yes! I've been diagnosed with body dysmorphia and I'm currently having therapy and a lot of meds. Today I'll have my last neurological exam than I'll concentrate on my therapy with a peaceful mindset. Wish me good luck!

[Kiko22]

My neurological exam was perfect!

[Kiko22]

I'm afraid my symptoms and anxiety are just a symptom of brain cancer... Could it be possible?

[jray23]

No chance.

A lot of what you say sounds like common anxiety symptoms.

Usually the simplest answer really is the right answer!

Glad to hear that you are working on getting better!

Sent from my Moto G (5) Plus using Tapatalk

[Kiko22]

Yes I'm working hard to get better. Most of my days now are good but during the summer is more difficult (August carries the memory of my grandpa dying in front of me)