I will start with some background first... im a 23yr old female who has suffered from depression/anxiety/body dismorphia disorder and panic attacks since i was 15yrs old.
I grew up with an alcoholic father who both mentally and physically abused myself and my mother which has left me full of dread/fear/sadness and every other rubbish feeling!
Anyway, i had prozac when i was about 16.. which didnt really help.. then i had mirtazapine when i was 18 which i know refer to as a ‘no go drug’ it really didnt make me feel good at all but i stayed on it for 18months
Things were going OKAY from the point where i stopped the mirtazapine and even though i have never stopped struggling with my issues i was managing them (or so i thought)
Back 3 weeks ago, i had one of the worst panic attacks i have ever experienced and very intense sucidal thoughts and an intense fear that i was going to hurt myself or somebody.. i ended up being taken to a&e by my partner and i was seen by a doctor who yawned the whole time and said they had nothing to give me other than half a tablet of diazepam and sent me home!!
I took it upon myself the next day to phone my GP for an emergency appointment and call a private therapist (which i struggle to afford!) as i was desperate for help.
My doctor prescribed me sertraline and more diazepam for when i needed it. the day i saw him is now a bit of a blur as my anxiety was so hightened and i felt like a totally different person.
The sertraline was horrendous for the first 2 weeks, i barely ate a thing i slept for roughly 2hrs a night and my anxiety and panic attacks were on another level which left me taking way more diazepam than i would have liked to!.
The side effects are definitely easing ever so slightly and ive managed to return to work today but i have a few questions/concerns about the medication...
Firstly.. i have read horror stories that this medication can cause weight gain, for somebody who suffera from body dismorphia disorder weight gain is really not something that is going to help my mental state at all!, has anybody experienced weight gain on this medication? (My doctor told me i wouldnt put weight on) sadly im not really in a state of mind to 100% believe him.
I am also experiencing very vivid and weird dreams and i feel like im on another planet during the night.
When does this medication really start to work its magic?
I am also looking for advice on alcohol and sertraline.. now i know that it should be the last thing i want to do at the moment but i just wonder if i will ever be able to drink any alcohol whilst taking this medication? I am still young and i do enjoy a few drinks with friends but i worry it will have a bad reaction with the sertraline?
Thank you so much to anybody who takes the time to read my story and offer advice