Fat in stools + diabetes = pancreatic cancer?

[Pamplemousse]

I am going out of my mind at the moment.

A couple of times now, I have seen these globules that are pale and about the size of a grape in my stools. After my last blood test, my Hba1c levels were quite high (I'm diabetic)

Googling the globules says they're likely fat. And that it can be caused by pancreas issues... including pancreatic cancer. The one you don't survive.

I'm supposed to be going for counselling for depression and anxiety tomorrow, but I don't think I'll bother. What's the point?

[Fishmanpa]

I'm supposed to be going for counselling for depression and anxiety tomorrow, but I don't think I'll bother. What's the point?

The point is to help stop you from shooting yourself in the foot (Googling) and always latching on to the worst case scenario. You would get treatment is you were physically ill. Why are you fighting the treatment for your mental illness?

Positive thoughts

[Pamplemousse]

Because pancreatic cancer trumps depression?

[nomorepanic]

So you are not going to bother treating the anxiety because you think you have cancer that hasn't been diagnosed. How does that work?

[Pamplemousse]

Okay, it's a big leap but... if you had pancreatic cancer and anxiety, your time left is limited - in most cases, a few months. So would you not rather put your affairs in order than mess about trying to get a mental issue sorted? I know that sounds irrational and probably a bit abrasive too (for which I apologise) but suddenly, things in my overall health seem to fit.

I also have this belief that on previous incidents - my mother was the first of her siblings to lose her spouse, then the first of her family to die, and I am the first of my siblings to lose a spouse, it follows that I will be the first of my family to die. I'm certainly in the worst health of them. 54 is a bit early to go but right now, it's all I can think about.

[nomorepanic]

But you don't have it.

I would treat the depression to be honest to be able to cope better with life.

[Pamplemousse]

I don't know if I have it - it's just a fear that occurred today. I'm lucky that I can hide myself away at work and lie down in a darkened room at the moment as I am struggling to keep the tears back.

[nomorepanic]

Sounds like depression so go to the appointment tomorrow.

[Pamplemousse]

I can but try - but I am also going to try and book an appointment with a doctor - not easy at my practice, it typically takes 3-4 weeks to get one.

[axolotl]

Your anxiety has seen you getting help on the horizon and has thrown up a fake excuse for you to bin the help that will give you the skills to get better.

Don't let it win.