Mum

[MyNameIsTerry]

Thanks, Carn. I know you are around if I need you. I remember all the mess you has to plough through to get things done that should have come naturally to them.

I said to my GF it's not like the old saying about pulling teeth. It's more like pulling them, putting them back in then pulling them out again.

Thanks, pulisa. Yes, she was really helpful. She had been here a few years ago when mums legs started off and is a relative of one of mum's old work mates.

I think we are on top of oxygen monitoring but still finding our feet fitting the nebuliser treatment in (not that the hospital did it 4 times a day...). She hasn't needed more than 4 doses of oral morphine so far and has taken it really well. Earlier in her stay she would try to push it out.

I've shown dad how to do all the treatments and he is doing fine. Now the catheter is out we just need to keep on top of changes. I was surprised just how easy she passed water after it being in 6 months. Despite dad being a bit stressed over bed changes its mich better out to reduce infection risk.

Had to laugh when the ambulance crew asked if they could stretcher her in. I said no chance due to lack of space and they were a bit unwilling to take her using a chair. I reminded them we have steps, so you cant stretcher anyway, and the fact their own crew had no concerns using a chair the week before. They were very helpful and very nice after that.

[fishman65]

It's a comedy of errors Terry only nobody is laughing. Our hospital's CQC report is a long list of 'room for improvement' with a few 'good' and one inadequate. Which is better than the last one.

At least you're home now. You're doing a brilliant job. Look after each other and keep talking to us here.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Cheers, fishman. Like my brother was saying no one follows the process end to end so you get service gaps.

I've not checked the report for ours but I bet it's the same. It was better years ago.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Terry,

Been more of a lurker these days and in and out sporadically. But you were a very big support to me during a tough time in my life years back. I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you and your family are doing an amazing job supporting your mother and giving her the reassurance and love she needs during this difficult time. Sending hugs across the atlantic.

Thanks swgl, I really appreciate your kind words and support. I'm glad if I've helped you in any say in the past. I've always found you are such a lovely person and I'm sure many of us miss you.

[Carnation]

Deleted

[Catkins]

Thinking of you Terry, it must be tough.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Thanks, Catkins. I really appreciate your kind thoughts.

It is tough watching her go through this and being so limited to be able to help her.

[pulisa]

But you've managed to get her home where she wanted to be and she has you with her which must make her feel safe. You may feel restricted in what you can do for her but what you are doing is really significant and completely the right thing for her. Nurses may be able to come and go regularly but you are the ones who are really nurturing her and giving her comfort.

[Darksky]

But you've managed to get her home where she wanted to be and she has you with her which must make her feel safe. You may feel restricted in what you can do for her but what you are doing is really significant and completely the right thing for her. Nurses may be able to come and go regularly but you are the ones who are really nurturing her and giving her comfort.

^^^^^
This.
I know from experience that what you, your brother and your dad give to your mother at this time will be valued above all the medical people that come and go

My mother has carers and district nurses popping in and out every day. Now and again a podiatrist will come. But they mean nothing to her. Yes she’s grateful she has medical support but the day to day stuff my sister provides…. meals, company etc she values far more than anything they do. You may think you’re limited and medically maybe you are but the family are her world and she wants you around her. You are doing the most fantastic job.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi guys,

I just wanted to let you know that mum passed away this afternoon. She had started to have problems breathing, swallowing and talking.

She just went to sleep holding hands with dad and me sitting in the room.

A very sad day but I'm glad she is at peace and didn't continue to suffer the final stages in distress.

Thanks for all your support over the last weeks.

For you, mum Thank you so much for everything you have done for me. Anything good in me is there because you put it there. I hope I did everything you needed me to and you knew just how much you have always been loved. You will never be forgotten because I'm what you made me so a part of you will always be here. Time for you to sleep knowing we will look after dad as you asked us too.

All my love, your ever loving son.


Terry xxx