Increase in anxiety/panic, when I try to relax!

[ankietyjoe]

This is what I am trying to do. I'm pushing myself in so many different ways that it's untrue. My psychologist thinks I push too hard.

Well you are, and you're not.

You do things you know you can walk away from if you want, but you won't meditate because 'it's too scary'.

The whole point of what you need to do is be scared, and sit with it. You're still avoiding anxiety in it's purest form and as long as you keep doing that you will never, ever recover. You have to be ok sitting with anxiety when it's at it's worst.

Your psychologist is probably right in a way, but I don't think you're pushing the right things.

You say you want to stop figuring things out, but just stop doing it. You're implying you have no control over your reaction to things, but that's just more worded excuses.

There IS truth in what Pulisa and Blue are saying about sitting within the comfort zone of your own anguish. It's like you'll stay in the anxiety zone you're in just in case it gets any worse if you try anything new. That's just another mental prison though.

Again, you have to expose yourself to anxiety and learn to be ok with it. Fear or not. This is true for every single person that experiences anxiety disorders.

[pulisa]

It's the oddness of the panic that confuses me.

I've had a horrible day, having meds pushed me by my GP and my psychologist, a row with my mother about the meds, then everyone went out and left me alone for 6 hours to stew and have all the thoughts bouncing around me head. Anxiety bad, but kind of tolerable. They come back, and now I have a 10/10 panic. It just doesn't make sense.

You've got nothing to do other than ruminate about your anxiety. Don't these thoughts bore you rigid?

[LittleLionMan]

You've got nothing to do other than ruminate about your anxiety. Don't these thoughts bore you rigid?

I had other stuff to do, and was just trying to get on with my work, but couldn't because I was in such a mess. Bored, yes, but more terrified than anything.

[pulisa]

But you're still here and nothing terrifying has happened to you. You're still posting the same things.

[LittleLionMan]

Well you are, and you're not.

You do things you know you can walk away from if you want, but you won't meditate because 'it's too scary'.

The whole point of what you need to do is be scared, and sit with it. You're still avoiding anxiety in it's purest form and as long as you keep doing that you will never, ever recover. You have to be ok sitting with anxiety when it's at it's worst.

Your psychologist is probably right in a way, but I don't think you're pushing the right things.

You say you want to stop figuring things out, but just stop doing it. You're implying you have no control over your reaction to things, but that's just more worded excuses.

There IS truth in what Pulisa and Blue are saying about sitting within the comfort zone of your own anguish. It's like you'll stay in the anxiety zone you're in just in case it gets any worse if you try anything new. That's just another mental prison though.

Again, you have to expose yourself to anxiety and learn to be ok with it. Fear or not. This is true for every single person that experiences anxiety disorders.

The thoughts are there 24/7, so I'm tolerating it whatever I do, whether I'm quietly rolling cigarettes, trying to watch TV, or having a shower, they are always there. Sitting quietly and focusing on what comes in to my head is scary, yes.

I don't walk away though, I spent 7 hours at a party on Saturday constantly around 40 odd people, letting anxiety symptoms thrash me around constantly.

Everyone is talking like I'm just doing nothing and moping around. I'm very confused, and this is what worries me about what form of anxiety, or cognitive problem this is, because it seems to be alien to people the way I describe it, as if it's just an odd thought every 4 hours, and it isn't.

[LittleLionMan]

But you're still here and nothing terrifying has happened to you. You're still posting the same things.

It has been terrifying, harmless yes, but it is terrifying. I'm no better even now. These aren't a bad 20 mins, I'm like it for hours, days sometimes.

I get that they are just anxiety symptoms, I do, but if they weren't horrible, none of us would struggle with it would we?

[pulisa]

Horrible but ultimately harmless. What is terrifying about that?

[LittleLionMan]

So you've honestly never been frightened by an anxiety symptom?
If you are playing them down because that's what I should be doing, then I understand that, but I am trying to adopt that attitude, but I'm struggling to do so.

[pulisa]

Of course I have but I have had years of practice at downplaying them and now I simply don't care. I've got more important things to occupy my time.

[LittleLionMan]

That's obviously the point I want to get to.

I just have this one mental loop I'm trying to break, and doing that would honestly do so much for me. I'll get there hopefully.