is there a difference between suicidal thoughts and simply not wishing to carry on?

[Suziewuzie]

Honestly no need at all to thank us, feeling the way you / we do can be the bloody loneliest place EVER and I know for me, just knowing that other people exist in the world who can relate on any level makes things just the teeniest bit lighter.
Sometimes you're so caught up in feeling rotten, you forget to be kind to yourself. So I always try and be kind to people when I can see that they aren't. You've achieved more than most today - literally leaving the house to go to the shop gets written down in my "achievement" box, having to meet up with a friend for a potentially really uncomfortable situation when you feel like you're at the lowest of the low is mammoth.

[pulisa]

I agree, Suzie. All credit to Mark-I couldn't have done that.

[mark84]

You're both just so kind. It's good knowing there are others that feel like this, I think I'm going to have to go to therapy and (more) anti depressants this week coming, in giving myself the weekend and decide for certain. Thankfully I'm in an area where the nhs provides proper therapy at a drop in centre. We're all mad here.

[Suziewuzie]

All the best people are mad. That's great that you can access therapy so quickly though I'd love that! I'd be there every bloody day!

[ana]

I'm just in agony again this morning, I'm freaking out and panicking, life feels such a grim treadmill and I just don't think it's for me. I feel bad writing that.

You'll always have me, Mark.

Please talk to me. You're very cared for.
x

[mark84]

All the best people are mad. That's great that you can access therapy so quickly though I'd love that! I'd be there every bloody day!

Yeah, I'm gonna be, it's a brilliant service though, the people seem to care and be motivated from what I've seen before. Every town and city should have them, I honestly think it would save money, and most importantly lives.

---------- Post added at 19:33 ---------- Previous post was at 19:33 ----------

You'll always have me, Mark.

Please talk to me. You're very cared for.
x

That's very kind Ana, thanks for the reply

[mark84]

Is there anyone here with maybe half an hour to spare,I just would like to pm a few(reputable) members, it's certainly not going to be a boring read, and what I want is just a few opinions(which doesn't need to be much, a sentence or anything). It's fine if no one is interested, but I think it might help me.

[ana]

Is there anyone here with maybe half an hour to spare,I just would like to pm a few(reputable) members, it's certainly not going to be a boring read, and what I want is just a few opinions(which doesn't need to be much, a sentence or anything). It's fine if no one is interested, but I think it might help me.

I'm a reputable member

[mark84]

The ever so brilliant drop in therapy service has turned me away, the ladies were kind about it, told me the rules changed last year, there's a 4 week waiting list, I've told her I'm not sure I'll be here by then and so now it's the crisis team. Just in tears, it's incredibly cruel having your health service turn you away, it's harmed me even more, I have a very low self worth. I felt sorry for the lady because she had to see me go in tears.

[Suziewuzie]

Oh Mark that's really rough. When are the crisis team seeing you now then? What a huge knock that is after mustering the strength to go. I know it feels like you can't hang on & it's scary, but what can you do right now to make today seem a little impossible? Do that. Keep your loved ones in the loop too - tell them what happened today & how it's made you feel. Now is the time to draw on every last ounce of energy that you have even though it seems impossible & futile. It's not futile, there are people in your world who need you to do it and they really need to know how you feel x