Re: What if you don't know why you are depressed?
I usually take months of devastatingly intense churning and digging of thought before I comprehend what's grating or draining the hell out of me, there's lots of recurrent currents and familiar landmarks as I have a traumatic road that derailed me and that's how I've developed but there's lots fresh between unsalvageable wrecks. Some of it's just temporary hiccups or light bumps to leap over with a few attempts like hurdles, alleviated by acknowledging and adjusting course or attitude, some of it stains and becomes embedded and burns all the time and that's alright too so long as it don't set fire to everything like gleefully leaking oil and congeal to obscure with that vile smog. Happens sometimes but I call them brooding periods and they're necessary but has to be a healthy limit. I need decades more therapy but it's not simple to acquire but what I had in the past taught me much and helped me discover discipline and that I'm a human with my own ingredients/make up and self respect most importantly, if you're still breathing and reaching for growth out of the black, you're doing fine enough.
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''...an utter depression of soul which I can compare to no earthly sensation more properly than to the after-dream of the reveller upon opium - the bitter lapse into everyday life, the hideous dropping off of the veil. There was an iciness, a sinking, a sickening of the heart, an unredeemed dreariness of thought which no goading of the imagination could torture into aught of the sublime.''