Survey - how do you cope when . . .?

[Lennie]

Hi all,
I'm new to this website. I find social events very difficult indeed, even small things like family visits or going to the cinema with a friend. My counsellor suggested I pose a few questions in a forum, asking other people how they cope. So here goes:

1. If you're in the cinema, and someone sitting next to you is being irritating, yet you want to see the film and feel you can't move anywhere else because you're with your friend and you don't want to embarrass yourself because they appear to be fine, what do you do? How do you get through it? I don't go to the cinema very often because I worry about how other people are going to be. If I do go I try to sit on the edge of an aisle so I can escape if I need to. In fact, the person sitting next to me doesn't even have to be annoying, sometimes I just feel hemmed in anyway. The same thing happens in theatre, even on a plane. I'm not bothered about the actual flying, it's the people surrounding me.

2. You have your in-laws round and they've stayed longer than expected. You're trying to remain polite but you just wish they'd go. How do you manage? I tend to switch off a bit, but worry I appear rude. I actually dread my in-laws coming round, not because they're not nice (they are), but it feels like they've intruded my safe place. Do you know what I mean? I feel like I can't be myself when I have visitors round.

3. This question is on a different subject. If you don't understand something, and have already asked for an explanation, how do you feel and what do you do? I tend to feel stupid and pretend I do understand.

Thanks in advance for your replies.

[bignik]

1. I would politely ask them to stop being so iratating , if they are not being annoying well not much else you can do I think

2. I would simply ask them to leave politely , you have another engagement or your feeling tired

3. I would say sorry Im just not grasping properly could you run that by me again.

Its like most anxiety conditions you have to conquer the fear aspect in my opinion and at times if that means saying No , if your a kind of yes person then so it has to be or you just get cut up more about it , I think its all down to communication and how you communicate and as long as polite and sincere well ... you cant do anymore really

[mariah lyall]

1-if it is minor I ignore,if it keeps up I move,if with a friend they understand this need. I like my space so often I wait until the film is not so busy so I can have my space. On planes I sit at the window so at least I am not "beside" another person I may not be able to tolerate for a full flight
2-I start to tidy up(removing myself from proximity) and change into my pj's if the hour is late enough!!
3-I just ask if I know them well enough to run it by me again,if I still don't get it, I look it up when I get home,sometimes I feel people talk just to hear themselves so I just nod and smile.

[AnxiousAnnie18]

1. I don't get irritated with people per say, but I am afraid of socialising so if I felt uncomfortable I would move. For me I'd do absolutely anything to get out of an uncomfortable situation no matter how stupid it made me look!

2. I would probably make an excuse to go do something else in another room so I could be alone.

3. I wouldn't ask again because I'd be embarrassed. I'd just have to get on with it and try work it out myself!