ESA assessment on Thursday

[KeeKee]

Well I got my letter today. It basically says my issue with social interaction is a choice! I'm livid.

She said I gave adequate eye contact and rapport (I stared at the wires in the back of the computer most of the time, I hate looking people in the eye, I also speak monotone when dealing with strangers) and wasn't anxious.

She also put that I'm able to take my daughter to school, go to Tesco for shopping alone and get the bus into town. This is true but she hasn't put that I find it very difficult, can't leave the house alone unless there is nobody in visible site, feel like crying every single time I go to the school and that I will only ever go to self serve in Tesco. Even when I do 'go shopping' it's to buy about 3 items. I never do a full shop as I feel crap carrying bags in public. On the (rare) occasion I do go into town alone, I have to be on my phone so I don't have to look at people.

I've even started walking across a muddy field to go to the school as I feel like all the cars are watching me walk-up the bank.

It also states that I informed them that I gave no problems if plans or appointments are cancelled or rearranged at last minute. This wasn't even brought up in the appointment and I do actually have an issue with change of plans as I'm sure my ex-therapist could attest to as I had a situation where I was 'dropped in it' 4 times and it was something that upset me quite a bit.

I can't even get my own bin in!! Our next door neighbour takes ours out on a morning and when my partner was still living here he brought them back in and now he isn't able, I just leave the bins for them to get in which is horrendous but I truly can't bring myself to go outside and bring the bins in.

I have seen my own relatives in town and purposefully walked the other way so I didn't have to speak to them. Not because I didn't want to, but because I get really nervous.

I have a really nervous stomach most days, leaving the house is dreadful. I will admit things are so much easier on dull days as I shove my hood up and feel hidden from the world.

My depression wasn't really brought up in letter and my BDD wasn't mentioned at all, even though I mentioned my difficulties with tying my hair up etc (it's been down, over my face every single day since I was 15).

I also can't speak to my partners parents. I won't visit as it makes me feel physically sick. That just shoes how anxious I am, we've been together 11 years and the last time I visited his parents was at least 5 years ago.

On Christmas day I feel sick to my stomach every single year without fail. This is only my close relatives too and there are a total of 10 people including me, my partner and daughter and yet it still feels horrendous. I can't socialise within groups even if I know all the people. The same applied years ago when I was working. Now things are so much more difficult. I can't even concentrate on the TV, even with programmes I enjoy my mind wanders

I feel like they've basically said I'm lazy and do not want to work or socialise and would be fully capable if I chose to.

[Antonio2301]

This is how they work .You've only to look at them once and you've made good eye contact throughout the assessment .They really don't understand the severity of mental illness and how it effects us on a daily basis . At least now you can sit down and write down a list of everything you want to challenge in the report . From previous experience 3 years back, when they found me fit with agoraphobia, it was full of lies and like yourself they put things down they're never even asked me . As you know , I had my assessment last week and I'm expecting the same outcome to be honest with mine, although I did get approved a home visit but I'm not banking on being awarded it without having to fight for it again , even though this time around I've stacks of medical evidence I know how nasty they are towards many people. Unless they can see a physical problem , they think you're trying pull the wool over their eyes .
If you need any help and advice , please ask and make sure you use fightback.
Ant

[Shezney]

You should be able to get a warm home discount , I think it's 140 towards heating , if you Google it you'll find out if you can apply , not alot of money but it's 1 less bill for you .

[KeeKee]

Thank you both for replying.

Antonio, I really hope you don't have to go through it all again. What a nightmare. You've already been through it before.
I'll definitely look into Fightback once my JSA comes through (if I get it, they rang today to make my appointment and told me if I didn't make enough effort to find work I wouldn't be entitled to it. They also don't give you any confirmation of your appointment anymore, probably in the hopes people will miss them so they can get sanctioned). I agree with the physical problem comment, when I had to get my first sick note for ESA I had to see a GP I hadn't been to before and even he told me he wasn't allowed to declare me unfit for work as he 'didn't know me', even though all my records are there. What a joke.

---------- Post added at 19:46 ---------- Previous post was at 19:44 ----------

Thanks for that information shezney. I've looked online and it says you need pension credit otherwise contact your supplier. I'll see if my partner (or ex parter as we're no longer living together) will ring them for me and enquire about it. It's still in his name anyway so he can switch it to my name whilst he's on the phone.

Thank you both for the responses

[Antonio2301]

I really can't get my head around the system with it all.
They tell you to apply for JSA( which means you're actively seeking and fit for work )
This is the only way to get any income until your appeal is received and then providing you have "fit notes" from your Doctor you then go onto ESA at the assessment rate, which is the same rate as job seekers allowance.
So, by signing every 2 weeks during the run up to the appeal being registered you're " fit for work " and you've signed to say you've been actively seeking work during this period.
This is why 3 years ago I couldn't claim JSA because I had agoraphobia. I couldn't even get to the shop for a pint of milk let alone get a bus into town to the job centre . I told the adviser on the phone this and she said well you're not fit for work then so you shouldn't be claiming JSA. I said "so what do I live off "? She said that's upto you, you have a choice to get jsa but you must proove you are looking for work otherwise you'll be sanctioned. I had to do without until my appeal papers were received and then started getting the assessment rate. A lot of the time the doctors and decision makers get it wrong and appeals get overturned at the tribunal but it's us that have to suffer in the meantime.


I also think that a work assessment that's carried out for mental health should be done by a Doctor who's had further training in mental health ( apparently there's only 46% of General practitioners around the country that have )
There's a few cases where orthopedic doctors have been sent out on mental health assessments and of course they've been found fit for work .
Pretty messed up system ..

[KeeKee]

It's an awful situation to have to be in. I'm 'lucky' as I'll still get a little bit income, but it will probably be enough for food and food alone (after already taking into account my essentials such as basic rent, council tax, gas and electric, cat litter). I still need toiletries and 'womans things'. My partner will help me, but I can't expect him to pay all my bills. I'm absolutely dreading it, my daughter breaks up in 2 weeks and we'll be spending every day stuck indoors (although I do go for a walk each night once it gets dark).

I guess I'll just see what the job centre say. I know for a fact I can't commit to job searching for long periods of time. I just don't understand what I'm meant to do. If I could just get one payment, then hopefully my reconsideration can get sent away and then I'll only have to go without money for a week or two as the advisor on the phone told me they're currently taking approx 10 working days. I managed to get a GP appointment for next week with my regular so I'll see what info he can give me. Tomorrow I'll write a list of what I disagree with on the letter and I'll also write in detail about how my mental health issues affect my daily life (although I've already wrote that on my initial form when first applying for ESA).

It's hysterical she told you you 'had a choice' as really, you didn't. If you can't commit to jobsearch then you can't claim JSA and therefore it isn't a choice. They make me laugh.

My letter from them also stated that I came to my assessment alone, with my partner waiting in the waiting room. How is this alone? I really hope my GP can help me, as they know how my mental health impacts me more than anybody. I'm there, usually in floods of tears every other month. I feel like he'd be my most valuable source of 'proof'.

I totally agree when it's mental health related there should be a mental health professional dealing with it.

I know I shouldn't take it personally, but I'm dying to complain in regards to her implying my difficulties with social communication are choice. It makes me feel like a fraud. As if id choose to lose all the friends I once had and to stay couped up indoors most of the time if I don't have somebody to go out with. I've even pretended to be on the phone once coming home from the school on a particularly bad day, how embarrassing is that.

[KeeKee]

Feeling really nervous about this today, really nervous about asking GP for help too. I honestly don't even want to go to my job seekers appointment this week. I feel so intimidated by it and will feel even worse if they basically tell me I can't claim it after I've trailed all the way down there, plus there'll be other people around who could hear. I'm seriously thinking about just cancelling and scrimping and scraping until I can appeal and get the assessment rate of ESA again.

[KatiePink]

Feeling really nervous about this today, really nervous about asking GP for help too. I honestly don't even want to go to my job seekers appointment this week. I feel so intimidated by it and will feel even worse if they basically tell me I can't claim it after I've trailed all the way down there, plus there'll be other people around who could hear. I'm seriously thinking about just cancelling and scrimping and scraping until I can appeal and get the assessment rate of ESA again.

I know how you feel KeeKee I've been there too and i cancelled mine because of anxiety and had a terrible few months which made me ill the stress of money issues can be so overwhelming, it's definitely not the way to go but I totally understand how you're feeling

[Antonio2301]

Are you able to phone your Doctors Monday and ask them to give you a call ? Maybe you would find it easier to ask them over the phone? I'm pretty much the same as you .My sister phoned my GP and had a word with the receptionIst , who then gave her a call .This is when they asked me to attend the assessment 25 miles away and I got myself in a state.The GP faxed at letter to the assessment who then approved a home visit. Don't forget now with JSA they will give you what's called an "extended period of sickness " which means you don't have to keep attending and doing a job search providing you've a note . It's for a max of 13 weeks but by then you'll have had your mandatory reconsideration looked at and also they would put you back on ESA at assessment rate .
I understand it's very hard for you but don't put yourself in a mess financially and struggle .
As long as you can get that note you'll be fine . Hang on in there!

[KeeKee]

I know how you feel KeeKee I've been there too and i cancelled mine because of anxiety and had a terrible few months which made me ill the stress of money issues can be so overwhelming, it's definitely not the way to go but I totally understand how you're feeling

Thank you for replying KatiePink. I may go to my first appointment and see what they say I'm just so stressed about it. I can imagine the financial difficulty you must have faced, I guess I should think of the fact it isn't just me I'm responsible for but my daughter too.

---------- Post added at 12:06 ---------- Previous post was at 11:59 ----------

Are you able to phone your Doctors Monday and ask them to give you a call ? Maybe you would find it easier to ask them over the phone? I'm pretty much the same as you .My sister phoned my GP and had a word with the receptionIst , who then gave her a call .This is when they asked me to attend the assessment 25 miles away and I got myself in a state.The GP faxed at letter to the assessment who then approved a home visit. Don't forget now with JSA they will give you what's called an "extended period of sickness " which means you don't have to keep attending and doing a job search providing you've a note . It's for a max of 13 weeks but by then you'll have had your mandatory reconsideration looked at and also they would put you back on ESA at assessment rate .
I understand it's very hard for you but don't put yourself in a mess financially and struggle .
As long as you can get that note you'll be fine . Hang on in there!

Thanks for replying Antonio. I could try ringing them, I'm just very nervous speaking to people over the phone, probably more so than face to face (if it's not a complete stranger). I guess I could ask my partner to phone for me though.

That extended period of sickness would be ideal, I did mention it on the phone when they called me to book my appointment but she basically told me that's not true, maybe she was just being awkward, I do need to prove i also have a GP appointment that morning as she had to give me a later appointment time, I thought it was strange as it's still the same date just an hour later. I think I'll definitely go to my appointment on Thursday then. If that period of sickness applies to me ill be fine as they told me I should get my first JSA payment on 15th December as long as everything is sorted so it would only be 6 days past my original ESA payment date so I'll just be struggling for 6 days really.