Hello and update

[axolotl]

Hi all, I've been in self-imposed exile of here for the last six months or so (I changed my username and password to gibberish to lock myself out, and have just asked Nic to reinstate me). I think I needed to separate myself from a forum I came to when I was feeling bad and forget about anxiety for a bit, if that makes sense? Plus the urge to wade into those kind of HA threads really wasn't healthy.

I just thought I'd give an update and hello. My CBT finished in February, shortly before I left here, and while at the time I was slightly disappointed with how it went, I've come to realise just how useful it has been. I've had wobbles since, but I tend to have periods of short intense panic rather than the existential funk that lasted days, weeks or even months. Knowing I have GAD has meant I'm not harsh on myself for being weak or stupid, it's part of my makeup and I accept it, and that in itself is a help.

In the last few months I've started new hobbies, met new friends, passed my driving test, joined a creative writing group, and I've even joined a beginners' running club (which is very far from my comfort zone!). I wouldn't have done any of this two years ago, and at the time I didn't even realise how bad I was and how I was stagnating in terms of what I was doing with my life.

I have been lurking from time to time on here, and it's sad to see some of the same old posters still peddling the same old posts, and I hope that doesn't lure others starting out on their journey out of anxiety into thinking it's impossible. In fact, while not easy, with the right support and being realistic about your goals (and accepting and forgiving of your anxious nature) you can get things back on track.

How is everyone?

[mezzaninedoor]

Glad you are dipping your toes back in, Im doing the same after a shorter break due to struggling a bit for a while.

Hope the forum helps more than hinders you.

[pulisa]

Good to hear from you axolotl!

You sound as if you are doing very well and your new interests sound far healthier than the thankless task of trying to help people on the HA forum and coming away feeling a lot worse off than the sufferers...I'm so glad you moved away from NMP and made such significant changes to your life. Don't allow yourself to get sucked in again? Keep healthy and keep going with your new regime!

[axolotl]

Good to hear from you axolotl!

You sound as if you are doing very well and your new interests sound far healthier than the thankless task of trying to help people on the HA forum and coming away feeling a lot worse off than the sufferers...I'm so glad you moved away from NMP and made such significant changes to your life. Don't allow yourself to get sucked in again? Keep healthy and keep going with your new regime!

If I start getting involved in *those* threads take me out and shoot me!

[pulisa]

If I start getting involved in *those* threads take me out and shoot me!

Avec plaisir!

I think you've learned the hard way about delving into the predictably contentious threads though. They are only ever going to have one outcome. Predictably.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Welcome back axolotl!

Good move on the password. That's a great way to stop yourself slipping back into it.

It's good to hear you are in a better place. I too found that about CBT and I think having a second course later when I was more able to tackle my problems would have helped me greatly.

Learning the tools and repeating things, finding what helps & what doesn't, etc. I've always found it's about stages and your body needs to calm itself down to be able to make some things work for you.

And yeah, don't get drawn in. These places are great but they come with some potentially big pitfalls too. Learning to be able to click off and focus your mind on something else is very important. It's very easy to get dragged in at the cost of your own mental health as well as progress. When that happens, something needs to be changed.

[mezzaninedoor]

@Axolotl @Terry

I have had 2 courses of CBT now and have found that though during the course it all makes sense and I can see the need to challenge say warped thinking, I really struggle to get the residual benefit from the tool. Its almost like my anxietal / low mood state doesnt allow me to access the lessons from the CBT and my catastrophic thinking continues .

Im trying to course correct on a BiPolar episode at the moment and though Im journalling about my warped thoughts and dipping into mindfulness, body scans and mindful walking Im struggling to get that course correction.

Im glad @Axolotl that you are in a much better place

[pulisa]

@Axolotl @Terry

I have had 2 courses of CBT now and have found that though during the course it all makes sense and I can see the need to challenge say warped thinking, I really struggle to get the residual benefit from the tool. Its almost like my anxietal / low mood state doesnt allow me to access the lessons from the CBT and my catastrophic thinking continues .

Im trying to course correct on a BiPolar episode at the moment and though Im journalling about my warped thoughts and dipping into mindfulness, body scans and mindful walking Im struggling to get that course correction.

Im glad @Axolotl that you are in a much better place

I think with more complex issues you have to find your own way to manage. You can have all the MH tools under the sun at your disposal but ultimately you are dealing with a battle in your head on a long term basis. It's a lot more complicated than accessing standard therapy techniques.