After 40 years meds are to be stopped...

[budgiesinmyhair]

Hi Lyn

I have an appointment to see my head of practice GP on Monday, just the routine keeping up kind. I'm hoping to re-iterate that stopping the meds too quickly threw me into such a panic resulting in my visit to the psychiatrist. If he's any good he should have a re-educating word with his young collegue. It sounds as if your younger GPs are clued up so maybe I've just fallen foul of a very unsypathetic person. If he were to experience the symptoms I had in those first couple of weeks I'm sure he would re-think similar future consultations.

You are so right re the Celexa, I didn't believe at the time that they would 'help' as I'd gone into such a panic but this last day or so I can honestly say that I do feel calmer. The night sweats have eased, also the chronic indigestion. I am taking them earlier/first thing in the morning, so maybe that has made a difference? The main thing is that the overwhelming feeling of drowning in anxiety at night has passed. I wake up now and just lie calmly, if I drop back that's great, if not it's no big deal now. We went to an after wedding buffet last night. A few weeks ago I would have been anxious, a fortnight ago I just wouldn't have gone, but last night I just went for it. It did cross my mind that I might run out of the pace in a panic so I took the spare car keys just in case, somewhere to sit while hubby and son were inside. But I didn't panic and even managed to chat with others guests. There must be something working with the Celexa mustn't there. I'm so chuffed today about it too so that has given me a boost. They could have found something that works better than Benzo's did, but how long before they stop these and I'm back to square one?

My son has struggled with on/off depression for some years now and at last I can listen and advise when he comes in from work after a really bad day. I'm trying to get him to see Doctor again as he stopped taking Seroxat a couple of years ago. He is probably as 'down' as I've seen him for some time but at least I'm able to listen and advise without feeling anxious about not knowing where to turn for him either.

Thank you again Lyn and everyone else who has helped me here.

Jan.x

[budgiesinmyhair]

Well it's a bit like one step forward and two steps back at the moment. I shouldn't have trusted the feeling of well being after Wednesday evening, Thursday morning. When my son came home from work on Thursday afternoon he was very down. I spiralled into a panic and had another vile night. I gave him a hug before work on Friday but where to turn to help him I don't know. I booked an appointment for Friday morning with head of practice as I said I would when I visited the psychiatrist and also hoped that Dr could give me something to help me sleep. He was very abrupt with me but my hubby thinks that was because I had seen the psychiatrist without a referral. My doctor is an Indian gentleman but when he's a little agitated I find him hard to understand. I got quite upset because I thought he'd said I had already been given medication to help me sleep but what he was saying was that the prescription had been done and was at the other clinic for me to pick up. He also said that he's not received a fax from the psychiatrist, that I'm not to up the Citalopram (a good job I haven't yet) and that he is still going to cut down Oxazepam over time albeit very slowly. When I came home and rang the psychiatrists secretary there was just a recorded message stating that she was unavailable until Tuesday. I feel as if I'm stuck in quicksand at the moment. I felt really uncomfortable shopping yesterday and couldn't wait to get home. Today even reading the newspaper made me feel ill but I keep trying to pull myself together. I am hoping to sort something out on Tuesday, maybe an idea to ask for a copy of the fax this time if they can do that for me. Once that's done I will be doing my utmost to find another GP. I haven't felt this bad for years, I'm 56, I really don't need this at the moment. I'm sorry if I have grumbled on but I literally only have my hubby to burden with this at the moment and he worries enough as it is, plus my son is in no fit state for more worries.

Jan.x

[Alabasterlyn]

Hi Jan, please don't ever feel you have to apologise for grumbling on here. I'm sure that is what this forum is for and the way I see it is we are all in the same boat and for many people this is the only place they can come for support and reassurance.

I think you did very well going out socially and by the sound of it you managed very well. However often when we go through situations like that we use up a lot of nervous energy that we aren't always aware of. This could explain why you felt bad the next day and felt that you had gone backwards. I know when I have a really good day and go out somewhere I can almost guarantee that the next day I will feel like crap

[budgiesinmyhair]

Thank you Lyn just knowing that it was more than likely a 'normal' reaction has helped so much. Naively I thought because I felt wonderful at the start of the following day then that's how every day would feel. I can see now that it's going to take time and there isn't an 'instant' cure or solution. I have been reading through the self help etc. pages, there is a lot of amazing advice on there which I'm going to try. I like the idea of 'distraction' so will warn hubby to be aware that if I have gone from bed on my next bad night that I'll probably be taking a shower or night gardening!
I lay on the bed earlier this afternoon, it was so peaceful that I nodded of for an hour. Feeling so much calmer, for now at least, so I'm learning that it's all a bit swings and roundabouts and that I have to be prepared with a few 'tricks' up my sleeve to beat the anxiety gremlin.

Jan.x

[KK77]

Hello Jan!

l've been reading your updates and yes it's swings and roundabouts all the way till we return to a state of normality and stability. l've been messed about by GPs and have learnt that so many of them have a very limited knowledge of mental health and that you should definately be referred to a psychiatrist for treatment. It's good that you've found a psychiatrist.

I've been on a new medication now for a few weeks and it's taking time for me to feel myself again. So give the citalopram time and you'll probably start to feel better too...

Good luck again!

[budgiesinmyhair]

Hello Mel77 and thank you, your encouragement what just what I needed today. I'm glad you are on the road to feeling better, keep it up as things do improve. Every little triumph is another milestone on the road to recovery.

I have a follow up appointment with the psychiatrist on Thursday. He told me last time that he would get my GP to 'back off' and I know it wasn't wishful thinking on my part, hearing what I wanted to hear, as hubby was with me. I've since asked for a copy of the letter he sent to my GP and this came yesterday. In it he says to leave the Oxazepam alone for the moment but that he'll be getting me to sign up for a 'withdrawal plan' on Thursday. I feel as if he's let me down as that wasn't what he told me. I've been wondering if my GP is pushing for it still and have been thinking about changing GPs again. Have got as far as enquiring who the head of practice is at another local surgery but how do I know if they will be happy to prescribe this medication if they do take me on? So I'm back in a bit of a pit again at the moment, churned up and constantly worrying. The head of practice GP I'm with at the moment cut these meds slowly down around 15 years ago to one per day. I felt like a prisoner in the house only going out when I'd taken that one tablet. I dread that happening again. It was only when another GP took me on and re-prescribed them that I started to function again.

Jan.x

[KK77]

Hi Jan

Sorry that you feel a bit let down by your psychiatrist - it does sound like he wants to ween you off your med - but when you see him you should make your feelings known, ie that you still feel anxious about the withdrawal plan. Having said that, I'm sure that he's trying to help you in the long run to be more stable without the use of benzos. It's a tough one. If you say that at the moment you definately can't handle coming off them I'm sure he'll listen.

As far as I'm aware, GPs have to work with the advice from consultants. GPs aren't specialists so what the pyschiatrist says should be the final word. When I went to see my consultant she changed my meds and my GP had no say in the matter. GPs can obviously disagree with the consultant but l haven't come across that myself. I got the feeling that Drs like to stick together and rarely criticise each other (not openly anyway!). I personally would change my GP if l feel they're not listening to me. I know this can be a long process sometimes (when l changed GP last time it took 2 weeks just for them to send my medical history) but it's worth it. Also l find it useful to go to a practice where there are 5-6 GPs that you can see and choose the one that you feel most comfortable with.

Unfortunately all GPs seem to be taking a hard line with benzo use. In the past l was prescribed diazepam but now none of my GPs will give it to me, even short term. They only prescribe to people that have been on it for a long time, and l don't think it's their policy to take people off it but not to prescribe it to new patients.

I'm sure that your psychiatrist will help you. Don't be afraid to voice your concerns.

Hope it goes well for you.

Mel77 x

[budgiesinmyhair]

Hello Mel77,

Thank you again for such understanding advice. I agree it's a tough one and I can see it from thier point of view too as these drugs are now very much out of favour. I read somewhere that they are more addictive than heroin and harder to come off so it's not surprising that GPs are wary of prescribing them nowadays. I just wish they would look at each case individually and see that when someone has been taking them for so long that maybe leaving them alone would be the best option. I remember so well how bad it was when I reduced them before which is why I think I'm getting in such a state now.

I too get the feeling that Drs stick together and suppose it's a professional loyalty thing which is understandable. The only trouble is that we as patients can then become a thorn in their side and they seem to lose any empathy they may have had before, dig their heels in as 'they know best.' And very often they do but not 100% of the time.

I will very definately let my psychiatrist know just how concerened I am about coming of these meds after so long. Especially as I've tried before unsuccessfully. Surely he will be able to see that the repurcussions will affect not only his patient but close family too.

Thank you again Mel as just writing these little bits down helps tremendously.

Take care too, Jan.x

[Alabasterlyn]

Hi Jan, I still think you should be able to make your own decision about whether you want to stay on your meds or not. If you want to find a GP who will carry on prescribing your benzos then perhaps you could phone around a few practices in your catchment area and ask the practice head to talk to the GP's in the practice and get back to you. At least that way you won't be wasting time joining a new practice only to find they are also ignorant about benzos.

As I have stated many times on this thread I have never come across any GP who has tried to stop my benzos. My mother is at the practice I used to go to and only one of the GP's there has tried to get her to taper off and as soon as she got upset and cried at the prospect of it the GP changed her mind and left her on them!

I agree with Mel that GP's are not specialists on mental health matters and take advice from the psychiatrists, so perhaps you need to work on your psychiatrist a bit more and see if there is a way you can get him to realise how much you need these meds. It just never ceases to amaze me how callous some members of the medical profession can be. Does it affect your GP if you stay on benzos? No, it only affects you, so why the hell won't they listen to you!

[budgiesinmyhair]

Hi Lyn and thank you too

I don't think I would have come through this mess if I hadn't found this forum and people like yourself who are caring enough to listen and advise. I will phone the other practice for starters on Monday as I've nothing to lose at the moment. Maybe they will let me see the head of practice or at least speak to him on the phone. I feel as if I'm 'banging my head against a brick wall' at the momet so have to try something constructive.

I did think that my psychiatrist could see how upset I was at the thought of stopping these meds but wonder if he's spoken to my GP again since then. He did say that he 'knew' him but I suppose they all come across each other either at the hospitals or via patients.

I'm not going to give up though as I still get angry when I'm not worrying. I'm also angry for the patients that don't have any fight left in them and dread to think what uncaring GPs are putting them through.

I agree that it doesn't affect the GP at all if I'm given these meds. Again from what I've read they aren't expensive either. I just wonder if my GP doesn't want to back down now because of 'losing face' as I slipped through his fingers before when he all but stopped them. It was only by chance that he took this practice over when my old GP retired. He has three or four other practices around here with thousands of patients so maybe he's lost sight of the patient as an individual.

Jan.x