Constantly filled with anxiety/on the edge

[LouiseAndy]

So, I'm really facing a bad time at the moment.

I have a number of issues that are constancy rushing around my head. Of course there's the health stuff, that's a given with me. Thinking about every pain, every odd feeling. I try to remind myself off all the good results I had but there's so many what if's buzzing around my head. I was able to cope with this for awhile but it's really wrecking me again. I won't go into it to much as I have other post about it. (https://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=224978). I'm really struggling. I'm so exhausted from this....Then of course I worry if there a real reason behind my exhaustion.

Secondly, I'm constantly worried about my relationship. My boyfriend recently made the choice to move back to his own country to further himself . Which I'm so proud of, that his living his best life. Yet I've felt this like need to over-push things? I guess is the way to say it. Like I feel like my emotions are more extreme now. Either I'm all mushy or very distant.

Sometimes I guess I get this idea where it's like! It's easier if I end this. Yet I know that's not true. My boyfriend is amazing, he supports me. His helped me in ways lots of people haven't- but also tells me that's important that I can and want to support and help myself. So I know in a way I'm pushing my negative feelings onto him.

Next...Uni. Oh beans, oh jezz. This is just over-working me. I used to love going, to get myself into gear and bust through classes. Now it's a constant worry and burden.

Then there's family worries- Friends worries. I made a promise to myself awhile I wouldn't rant to anyone anymore about my health worries but this seemed to push into everyday life about everything. So, I just feel so alone. Sorry for venting so much. I couldn't even bring myself to write down everything that was pushing on my chest in fear of annoying anyone. I don't mean to be so needy. I'm sorry.

P.S I am in therapy, there's just a gap in session now as my therapist has had to take personal level. I've tried meds before but they didn't work for me.

[yarodao]

You are not alone.
I had near the same worries you have. Maybe bevause of them i started panicking and got myself this nasty affliction.
And dont worry. This forum is always here to help. Write anything you want.
Remember that nothing is as important as you are to yourself. Always think if the thing that you are doing does something for you and not the other way around. After my first panic attack and extreme HA i thought thats it, quitting uni i cant be outside i cant be with people, they cant see me like this. But then i thought about it. And decided that i need uni because of the distraction , because of the people there even if it gets scary its kinda like a healing process.
Hope you get what i mean. I dont always understand myself