Hiya im 26 and had my 3rd child ten months ago. my anxiety started the day after my youngest was born, i remember it well. i was sat at home and had just finishing feeding her, she fed an awful lot and obviously with it only being the day after she was born i was still very tired and i sat there thinking to myself that i should get some sleep before she wakes for the next feed. it was about 8pm and i laid down and closed my eyes, all of a sudden i had this uncontrollable fear of falling to sleep, i busrt into tears and my poor hubby wondered what on earth was going on. it took him 6 hours to calm me down, i couldnt explain it, i was just terrified to sleep, i had awful images of dying in my sleep and this went on every single night for about 3 months, then my anxiety started to wear off a little and i only really felt it when tired,stressed or overwhelmed.
It turned into health anxiety quite quickly and so that whats i thought it was. i eneded up running to my gp during a panic attack thinking i was going mad. he wasnt very supportive infact he told me i had pnd and anxiety and that it was my own fault!! he prescribed me fluxotine (prozac) but i knew i didnt have pnd, it felt so very different to that, plus i wasnt sad, or disconnected from my baby, i had no doubts about myself as a mother and my health visitor agreed i didnt have pnd. so i refused to take the fluxotine and decided to overcome this myself.
my baby is now ten months old and i can honestly say my anxiety only bothers me during my period every month. two days before it starts, one day during and two days after it finishes, its the same every month now like clockwork. it also is nowhere near as bad as it was. now i just get a little wobbly but i can talk myself out of it now, i feel stronger and know i am strong enough to beat it.
My health visitor has told me it is postnatel anxiety and its hormone based so once my hormones settle so should my anxiety and so far she is right. i know that it wasnt just the birth that triggered it, i had an awful lot of bad family issues to deal with at the same time as little one was born. my own mother disowned me the week before she was born and to this day has still not met her. i think it all added up to be too much at one time to deal with.
my main reason for starting this thread is because i have been informed that postnatel anxiety is not that well known yet, only few doctors actually diagnose this to be a condition and most just say its pnd, but it is a condition (i hate using that word) and it is very different to pnd. im hoping by telling you all about my experiences and my story that if any of you are feeling the same you will now know what to look out for and what to tell your gp if this is what you think you have. the good thing about postnatel anxiety is that it is hormone based which means it will get better in time and you all can and will overcome it just like i am doing. there is a light at the end of the tunnel and i have no doubt that we will all reach that light in our own time very soon.
i hope my thread has helped some of you to understand your not alone and you can and will get through this. its especially hard when you have little ones to look after too so make sure you ask for help whenever you need it and have support around you.
Hugs to you all xxxxxxxxxxxxx