Managing DPD With a family

[Beeboo]

Hi - new here and wondered how others get on when they have a partner and children. I feel nothing. I question everything. I have a running negative commentary that obsessively questions who i am and mocks everything I do. I feel like I don’t care about anything and could up and leave my family. Im not depressed but have been anxious/panicky. I cannot tell if I do or don’t love my husband of 15 years and I’m going trough the motions of hugging my children etc but feel nothing. I get intrusive thoughts telling me I hate my children, my home and my husband. Just wondered how others cope with this or can empathise at all. It’s really scary and it’s constant, from the minute I wake to when I go to sleep and then my sleep is disturbed.
Thanks for listening.

[YouRemindMeOfTheBabe]

How long have you been like this for? Has anything happened recently that could have caused it? Like a trigger, maybe stress at work, a loss in the family. There's usually a stress trigger for my DPD which is why I ask.

[Suziewuzie]

I don't have children but did experience DP whilst with a partner. It's something which comes & goes for me, I've experienced it solidly for months and I now experience it sporadically throughout the day when I'm feeling anxious.
How you manage it is whatever works best for you. For the first few weeks I hid it from my partner because, as we all know, to someone who hasn't experienced it how on earth do you even begin to explain?! After a month though I sat him down and told him that this was what I was experiencing, and that I sometimes didn't feel like I knew him or recognised him or loved him, but that I needed him to know that I always did and I just needed lots of patience and reassurance to get through it.
I was very lucky that he understood, and with medication and time I eventually snapped out of DP after a few months. I somehow learned to pay no attention to the feelings of detachment and eventually they dissapeared.
I think if you can, try to tell your partner what's going on in your head - it may help knowing that he at least is aware of the living hell you're going through x

[al_pk]

Hey Beboo,

I don't have family and kids but I do have a lot of experience with anxiety, innapropriate thoughts, lack of feeling are classic. The way im suffering this time is different but in a previous episode I had intrusive violent and sexual thoughts all the time. It's not actually you it's the anxiety. I hope you can see this.

Alex

[EmmerLooeez]

Hey Beboo,

I don't have much in the way of advice really, but I have a dissociative disorder and have experienced trauma. I swear 14 months ago I was living just as you described and now I'm doing a whole lot better. I have my moments, I have some triggers that I haven't even identified and some I know but can't avoid, but I'm functioning so much better. Believe that you can too! It is hard work and I've had people straight up and leave my life because they couldn't deal with how I reacted to my triggers, but it was worth it.

What help are you receiving? Feel free to message me if you need to talk to somebody who understands. Lots of love. Xx

[Notgoingcrazy]

I DO have a family so I know what it is like to have weird thoughts in my head. Too often, I live on the outside looking in on my kids....the hubby doesn't understand after all of the explaining so it leaves me quite isolated. I must say though, that a lot of what you're describing sounds not only like anxiety, but depression too. Depression can create these feelings and thoughts. It does pass, but like it was mentioned by someone else, it helps to talk to someone. Finding meaningful activities to do with the kids is also helpful for me.