Depression Reassurance

[Ben1989]

Hi all,

I’m very depressed and I’m having CBT for my anxiety (after a two year wait). One aspect is for her to try and discover what I’m actually worried about etc. But the thing is I just get down and scared over nothing.

I pray to god that it doesn’t get severe but I do think about suicide but in a ‘if I were to do it’ kind of way. She says just because you think about it doesn’t make it real as a worry is if my condition goes that way how much I’d be letting family down etc.

I’m torn whether I’m anxious or depressed as my mood can randomly change and I’ll become randomly down for days. Today I’m REALLY down. Broke down crying to wife when I finished work just now.

I need hope. I really feel there isn’t at the moment.

Also, I’m too scared to go onto the depression area of the site as it’ll trigger too much

[nomorepanic]

Hi

This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your post was moved from its original place to a sub-forum that is more relevant to your issue.

This is nothing personal - it just enables us to keep posts about the same problems in the relevant forums so other members with any experience with the issues can find them more easily.

Please also read this post:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=213239

[ankietyjoe]

One aspect is for her to try and discover what I’m actually worried about etc.

I don't think this has much value for most people. It's often a culmination of things at best.

[Suziewuzie]

Have you ever read "Reasons to stay alive" by Matt Haig? I bought it for my ex partner who suffers with depression but I just read it myself (I'm an anxiety girl) and it was really helpful & comforting. It would be good for your wife to read it too.
Wether you have anxiety or depression or both, it doesn't really matter what we call it - you feel what you feel. Finding out what you're worried about might not really be that important - certainly when I had my 'break down' there wasn't any one thing that I was worried about other than the way I felt and the thoughts in my head.
There is hope - always, you can't see it right now in this dark tunnel but your future self will thank you for remembering it x

[Ben1989]

Thanks Suzie

[Ben1989]

My anxiety goes a bit wild because I tel myself there are obviously people every day who take their own life so it must develop into being that bad.

[Suziewuzie]

That's perfectly understandable. You're thinking with an anxious mind, and anxious minds tend to jump to "worst case scenario"

There are lots of people on here, and indeed the world, who feel the same way as you do now. They have conquered it, they are living with it, there's no reason why you should be any different. You can be incredibly, deeply depressed and still not think of committing suicide. Pay no attention to these thoughts.

[Ben1989]

Thanks Suzie.

I’m slowly veering towards accepting it as anxiety.

Unfortunately today I went for a run and just came back in a really down depressed state. No explanation why, I feel like crap. Out of nowhere

[Ben1989]

Feeling quite down at the moment.

Last night I just couldn't do anything but sit there and basically sulk. I wasn't anxious really about anything, well, anything I could pinpoint at least.

My wife flies to Dublin today leaving me alone with my daughter and I've had to ask my Mum to come and help with her tonight as I get down when seeing her like an impeding doom is coming and I've already accepted it. Almost like I'm upset about the future without nothing happening.

I really hate this. Last week I was actually quite great. Thoughts very rarely came, generally just happy and wanting to do stuff. Now I'm the complete opposite.

I started on Headspace last night about trying some beginner meditation tips etc. Hope it works well. I guess I'm back for reassurance.