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Old 13-08-18, 02:11
LouiseAndy LouiseAndy is online now
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Fear of Cancer (Steps forward, Steps back)

So, this is a semi-positive post!

So, like many people on here I have feared like no joke at least 30 different illness. While I'm struggling here some personal tips I've worked on to try and help me over come this!

So Fear: Sinus cancer: Went to a urgent care doctor after breaking down. So checked me over, shrugged it off. I couldn't believe it! How much he just start talking to me about anxiety when I was worried about sinus cancer. Yet the biggest truth is in there. Just because it's urgent care doesn't mean they won't help you. Like when I had stomach issues (over this fear!!) the doctor sent me with a letter right to my gp to book me in for gallstones (Which I did have but manged to pass myself!) So, Do I still get sinus issues? Jaw issues? Ear issues? Nose issues? Yes, do I worry at times? Yes! But I'm the only one worried about it! (This issue does come and go won't lie but it's getting better!)

Throat/Oral cancer: Have a strange look throat, lot of nasty stuff, something bigger one side then the other. Yet the doctor has looked there a million times and never made a comment. Same for the dentist. I know they won't just let it go, even if you don't see it or you're worried about it. They are trained to stop these things more so then me! Just because it doesn't look normal to me doesn't mean it isn't normal! My friend made a good comment once, just because something looks abnormal to you doesn't make it so!

Stomach/Colon/Pancreas: I went through a lot of testing there, ultrasound, ct scan, breath test, stool test and some type of blood tests. Came out of it with ibs and a bacterial infection. It was hard to believe that was the issue- but it. If you have these tests and they say it's ibs. It's ibs. I know it's hard, I struggle with some issues with it but my doctor said it can be hard to deal with!

All types of female private areas cancers: Bleeding between periods, so, so scared. GP told me it was just ovulation and didn't even send me for tests. (Actually had this today and I didn't freak out. It was a good thing!)

Things I'm still trying to overcome: Lymphoma (There's probably more but I've already written alot) Ohhh, how many people here have this fear? It won't leave me. My gp has felt my neck and collarbones. Everywhere I thought was lumpy or something. Yet she has shrugged it off. She isn't one to rule me down to just anxiety. She sent me for tests for my stomach and there was a issue. So I'm doing my best to believe her but it can be hard. It always seem lie there something to be found in your neck or something area like that. This one...is difficult I won't but I'm doing my best to move along. I'm just doing my best not to feel around.

Like what I ask myself is, if I ask for a neck ultrasound or something. If it comes back clear and I'm free- what would be the next worry after that? Like I got to stop feeling around, my doctor says that something would have shown itself by now. So I take that as a huge mass in my neck. As I've had clear chest-xray, all those tests I talked about above and maybe more I forgot about. I've got to believe it's alright.

Oh this has been long, but yes I do have certain issues. My neck hurts in different places everyday, I have pain or something in lots of places in my body...but I'm still here. I can't been given one of these big illness I've worried about yet. Like! Didn't know what lymphoma was until I googled and it seemed like it filled every inch of my life after wards. So I blocked all medical sites so I couldn't find more things to worry about.

Like? I have some type of summer old or something right now. Sore throat, stuffy nose. Aches and I'm very tried. I'm beveling it's just a cold or something that will pass. Which is big for me!

Sorry this is so long, this is basically something I worked on in therapy. I thought it might be good to vent here! Hopefully this positive works and onwards and upwards! With no doctor visit!

---------- Post added 13-08-18 at 02:11 ---------- Previous post was 12-08-18 at 23:11 ----------

Okay one big old tip to add: Don't take photos/videos of your neck/collarbone/jaw/whatever area you're worried about. Huge mistake. Sends you into a lot of panic attack because bending your head slightly without realising it causes you to freak out. Top tip that one.

I have ocd so I tend to do this alot-to my own harm. Then I delete the photos so the next night when I panic and want to look back I can't and freak out more. I think the one smart thing I ever did was not Google what someone who's sadly suffering from lymphoma neck/whatever I worry about looks like. So I don't know what to look for/am I missing out on something. So that's something you should never do!

Last edited by LouiseAndy; 12-08-18 at 23:17.
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Old 13-08-18, 06:54
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Scass Scass is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2016
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Re: Fear of Cancer (Steps forward, Steps back)

You’re doing brilliantly!
Thanks for writing this all down x

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Old 13-08-18, 18:32
LouiseAndy LouiseAndy is online now
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Join Date: Mar 2018
Posts: 223
Re: Fear of Cancer (Steps forward, Steps back)

Originally Posted by Scass View Post
You’re doing brilliantly!
Thanks for writing this all down x

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
Thank you for the reply like always Scass!

I know there's still a lot ahead but I'm doing my best to be positive and just move forward without dwelling on everything all the time!

---------- Post added at 18:32 ---------- Previous post was at 17:06 ----------

Sorry just to add, I find working out and going to the gym...is actually helping a lot! At first I would be worried about suddenly dropping with a heart issue. Now I find it's feeling me sleep at night and today I've officially lost a stone and half .

Also, a big worry that feeds into the lymphoma and stuff. Is that I tend to get lots of like under the skin like bumpy ache. My friend get these, I never used to worry about them not it's a huge thing that plays into it. Like I've had this one for awhile that been getting me because I want to push and poke at it. Sometimes I do without thinking and it scares me because you know. It's hard and where it is doesn't move much. Yet I've done my best to keep hands off!

I think this summer cold is settling in also, Shore throat? Achy body? Lots of pity for myself? Check, check and check.
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