As good as it gets .

[fishman65]

That's a lovely dream to have Buster but the waking is cruel, it's clear what our subconscious is wishing for as Carnation said. I really do feel for you mate, what with everything you have going on. Have you told your partner about how you feel? Communication is crucial, though not crying doesn't mean you don't care. Can you both put aside a little time for yourselves? Maybe watch a film together, cuddle on the sofa etc. Though I'm hardly a relationship expert

---------- Post added at 16:27 ---------- Previous post was at 16:24 ----------

Oh bloody hell, didn't see that post. Crikey I'm really sorry Buster. Is there no way back for you both? Damn.

[Carnation]

Buster, why????? If she does this to you now, then, well my words would foul your partner.
We are all fighting demons, your partner isn't the only one. I know you want her to stay, despite everything, let's hope it's just a threat. Being alone is not nice even with the piece and quiet.
Please don't stay in your van, the temperature is dropping and you need your comforts.

[Darksky]

God Buster I can't bear to think of you living in a van. Where's it parked up? Will you be able to have access to cooking and washing?
Do you think she'll be able to cope without you. The roof, dog etc. She may well realise that life without you isn't quite as easy as she thinks now. I really hope you get through this....together.
Take care

[Elen]

Buster I am so sorry to hear how bad things are getting with your OH.

Let her move out, there is no way you should be living in your van.

It is harsh and horrible but you cannot be responsible for her mental health, especially when she doesnt seem to appreciate that you yourself are fragile.

I love your outlook on life, your OH is missing out on a lot.

[pulisa]

I'd say let her move out too. She doesn't treat you well. Don't allow yourself to be a victim because you are not. She'll be very surprised if you don't stop her going.

[fishman65]

I love your outlook on life, your OH is missing out on a lot.

This is totally true, I reckon your sense of humour keeps her afloat buddy.

[Buster70]

Well it's a lot bloody colder than I thought it would be , I can't sleep for the cold , I really don't know where to go from here Ive truly got not nothing just a sleeping bag in a van .
I feel too old to be starting over again , just a sad old man parked up down a lane in a sad old van .
I'm not putting all this on her I'm not an easy person to live with , she wants me to change but I keep saying we both need to change I can't be nice to her when she's talking to me like crap , life has just crushed us into different people .
Right need my gloves back on my fingers have frozen , can't wait for the sun to come up , I need to think about somewhere warmer for tonight .
Thanks

[pulisa]

Once she's gone to stay with her aunt today you can move back in. You both may well benefit from some time away from each other? Don't let yourself be treated like crap -you probably feel you deserve to be treated like this by her but this is your depression talking.

[Carnation]

Buster, please don't sleep in the van.
Whatever the problem or scenario, you can't be sleeping outside in these weather conditions. How can she let you do that? Why can't you just be in another room?
Another thing, 'the dogs', they mean the world to you, they keep you going, don't let her take them, its not right to take them away from you and their home.
If she wants to leave or have a break, let her, as Pulisa says.
I really feel for you

[Darksky]

I agree. Go back home and set up in a separate room if necessary. At least you will be warm and have access to washing and cooking. Also you will have your dogs.
If the relationship is gone for good you have to think of practicalities. She has somewhere to go...her aunts...you have nowhere. Surely she cannot be happy that you're living out if your van.