Who do I tell? (long post.. sorry)

[birdcage]

Having started taking citalopram, I've told my boyfriend, adn one of my housemates, but I'm pretty sure there is a stigma attached to anti-depressants.
If I tell my close friends, they will forever know that I'm depressed. I'm really good at hiding it, always making jokes and stuff, even though I feel totally miserable inside. I haven't told my mother, even though I really want to.. I think I want her to know so she can give me advice etc on taking them and give a woman's view. The same goes for my girlfriends, I think I wan them to help me practically, but I really really don't want their sympathy.
In fact, I think people's sympathy would just make the symptoms of my depression (guilt, low self-esteem, low-motivation, being knackered all day) even worse. I want to be seen as a strong woman, as someone people look up to, yet how can people think that if they think they know how I feel inside?
I suppose it's down to me being ashamed of other people seeing my vulnerability, and weakness (not that our illness is weak, you know what I mean) and if my friends know how low I feel then I won't feel like they have much respect for me anymore.


Sorry for ranting on, it's been in my head all day and I'm so glad I've got this forum to let my feelings out!

Hope everyone's doing ok.
Alicia XX

[bottleblond]

Alicia

Blimey hun...one bit of advice here. TALK!! By keeping this bottled up you are only masking the problem. Trust me here, by talking to close friends and family helps us to deal with it ourselvesm, which i don't think you are really doing. I know it's not easy but i bet if you had a chat with one trusted person, you would feel alot better in yourself.

I used to feel there would be a stigma attached to my illness but i found the exact opposite. I have amazing friends on and off this site, brilliant family who have been amazingly understanding and helpfull. You would be surprised at just how many people are the same as you hun, infact if you open up a little you might just find there are others in the same boat!

Take care and please don't feel isolated because it's a very common illness

Loads of love and luck

Lisa
xxx

[birdcage]

Thanks Lisa.. You're right aren't you!
I'm gonna give it a go, think I might call my mum and just let it out. It's hard because she sufferes aswell, and she has insomnia because of it and I'd hate to make that any worse for her..
Hmm.
I will certainly let you know how it goes!
Thanks again.
Alicia XX

[jj.tails]

Having started taking citalopram, I've told my boyfriend, adn one of my housemates, but I'm pretty sure there is a stigma attached to anti-depressants.
If I tell my close friends, they will forever know that I'm depressed. I'm really good at hiding it, always making jokes and stuff, even though I feel totally miserable inside. I haven't told my mother, even though I really want to.. I think I want her to know so she can give me advice etc on taking them and give a woman's view. The same goes for my girlfriends, I think I wan them to help me practically, but I really really don't want their sympathy.
In fact, I think people's sympathy would just make the symptoms of my depression (guilt, low self-esteem, low-motivation, being knackered all day) even worse. I want to be seen as a strong woman, as someone people look up to, yet how can people think that if they think they know how I feel inside?
I suppose it's down to me being ashamed of other people seeing my vulnerability, and weakness (not that our illness is weak, you know what I mean) and if my friends know how low I feel then I won't feel like they have much respect for me anymore.


Sorry for ranting on, it's been in my head all day and I'm so glad I've got this forum to let my feelings out!

Hope everyone's doing ok.
Alicia XX

Hi Alicia,

I think you know the answer to this one already. You're moved to talk about this stuff, so talk about it. I know there's the fear of being seen as weak, pathetic and worthless. But, trust me on this, the real fear is of revealing yourself to be all those things because at the moment you're probably convinced it's true. You're friends and family can probably give a better truer assessment of you at the moment than you can yourself.

Some people are going to react in different ways. You're likely to get some sympathy. But that's sort of what friends do remember. They sympathise with each other. Don't get alarmed by that. It would be more unusual if they didn't.

Anyway best of luck and hope it goes okay.

[bottleblond]

Alicia

I'm really proud of you! Don't be ashamed love, just share your worries and i'm sure you will be alot happier.

Loads of love
Lisa
xxx

[keepemlaughing]

I agree with Lisa, you may find more support than you expect. And if you are not ready to tell friends and family yet, you have us!

[rubymiller]

Hello Birdcage
You brought tears to my eyes when I read your post. When I started on Citalopram I was so relieved to get help that I didn't think of the consequences of telling people, but yes, I agree, there is a stigma attached to anti-depressants. I am careful who I tell because I can't stand anyone looking at me in that patronising way, in fact hardly anyone knows (especially at work) but I don't care anymore. The medication has made me feel so much better in my life that I am proud I finally went to the doctor and sought help.
The people who really care and love you will support you through this bad time in your life.
Please come on to this site and let rip anytime, it really soothes away the misery of what our lives can be at times when we are suffering.
xx

[Oceangirl]

BIRDCAGEXXX how do ya know ur friends arent hiding theyre depression??? ,aybe thy also need help. It takes guts to ask a doctor 4 help. I admitted today to my GP i get agarophobia and pannik althought mines all mederate not horrendous. Shes also giving me counselling with a psychiatrist. Am also on 10mg citalopram and am proud of it too!! b4 ws ashamed and am fine now xxx LOve ya x

[trixi]

Hey Birdcage,

Never ever feel ashamed for accepting help even in the form of medication. Sometimes we all need help in one way or another. I am proud that you have taken the help.

Speak to your friends and family if you cannot count on them for support who can you and I am sure that they may not understand what you are feeling but they will support you.

This journey that you are on will take time but just ride the waves and follow advice from your GP and you will get there in the end

Trixi
xxx