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Old 06-01-12, 02:14
RB263 RB263 is offline
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 12
Scared these intrusive thoughts will never go away.

This is my first post. I was really impressed by some of the other forums I found through google and was starting to feel a little better. Then another fear/thought entered my mind.

First of all, I'm a 20 year old female. I've never been diagnosed with anxiety, depression or OCD. I do however feel like I have an anxiety problem or maybe OCD. I'm not sure.
I've had intrusive thoughts before, I think. I obsessed over the fact I thought I was dying, having a heart attack or going blind. These passed though..

The thought I'm having now, just popped up randomly in my head over a week ago and I've been obsessing over it. I obsessed over why I had it, what it means about me, if I'll act on it, etc. It's affecting me everyday.

Anyway, although this thought has been tormenting me, my fear has become that I'm not fearing it ENOUGH. I'm scared that this thought isn't disturbing me enough and that THAT is a sign that I will act on this intrusive thought.
It's also become more of a fear that this obsession will never go away, rather than fearing my actual intrusive thought..
I hope that makes sense to someone, because it's opened up a whole new realm of fear for me.

It started after I was reading another forum of someone who had an intrusive thought. Someone replied with "The fact that you're afraid of this thought proves you'll never act on it."
And then I started questioning myself and going over my intrusive thought again. Was I truly afraid of this happening?

Has this happened to anyone else?
Is this something that I should be worrying about?
Does this mean I'll act on my intrusive thought? Or become my fear?

I just feel completely helpless and scared and I just want it to stop.
I wish I could just erase this all from my mind and just go back to the way I was.

Please, someone help!

---------- Post added at 02:14 ---------- Previous post was at 02:03 ----------

I feel like I'm more scared of the consequences of ever acting on this thought, then acting on the thought itself. And that scares me more than anything.

The whole reason I didn't say what this intrusive thought was is because I'm terrified of getting in trouble :(

I am so scared of my own mind right now.

Can anyone relate to what I'm feeling right now?
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intrusive, scared, thoughts

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