is there a difference between suicidal thoughts and simply not wishing to carry on?

[Tyke]

Keeping busy and getting out and meeting people is good for you, as is any form of physical exercise. You just have to find what works best for you. Depression is the leading cause of ill health and disability worldwide, with over 300 million sufferers according to WHO (World Health Organisation) and it is still on the increase. You are certainly not alone, even though the stigma of poor mental health prevails and we still often can't talk about it.

[Suziewuzie]

It's good that you're going out and about Mark, and talking to people. This is something I'm struggling with at the moment and it's undoubtedly making me feel worse hiding away in my house. It sounds like you're being quite proactive in trying to tackle the way you feel & let me tell you I'm ENVIOUS of that! I hope things start to improve for you very soon x

[mark84]

It's good that you're going out and about Mark, and talking to people. This is something I'm struggling with at the moment and it's undoubtedly making me feel worse hiding away in my house. It sounds like you're being quite proactive in trying to tackle the way you feel & let me tell you I'm ENVIOUS of that! I hope things start to improve for you very soon x

Thanks for the reply, it is horrible. I am mostly stuck indoors too, I try and go on a short walk in the afternoon sometimes, I'm not made for this world though, I went through therapy a few years back and everything seemed bright and rosey and life was going good but it inevitably comes to an end does that feeling. What sort of anxiety/depression do you have?

[Suziewuzie]

I just have good old anxiety! I sort of lost control of it after a difficult few months & it's all spiralled into a big mess of panic attacks, not feeling able to go outside and finally depression. I was still working up until last week but I've just started medication which has made things initially a lot worse so I'm hopeful at least the black cloud over my head might dissapear once the meds kick in.

[mark84]

I just have good old anxiety! I sort of lost control of it after a difficult few months & it's all spiralled into a big mess of panic attacks, not feeling able to go outside and finally depression. I was still working up until last week but I've just started medication which has made things initially a lot worse so I'm hopeful at least the black cloud over my head might dissapear once the meds kick in.

Don't say might disappear, it will they really do work. Idk if it's of use, but what I'd do is carry something of tree medicine with me, the box, the leaflet, whatever, and if you doubt them reach into your pocket and hold or take a look at it, it's a powerful and clinically proven medicine. They are very reliable and successful. Get through the first 2-4 weeks and life will get brighter well done, starting them is a great step.


Edit: tree medicine,should be the medicine, but I think I'll leave it!

[Suziewuzie]

I immediately googled Tree medicine before I saw your note at the bottom

[mark84]

I immediately googled Tree medicine before I saw your note at the bottom

I wouldn't recommend BRANCHING out into tree medicine, it makes you BARKING mad. Cant believe I've spent five mins thinking of that. Apologies to all!

[mark84]

I'm just in agony again this morning, I'm freaking out and panicking, life feels such a grim treadmill and I just don't think it's for me. I feel bad writing that.

[pulisa]

Mark, life can certainly feel like a grim treadmill when you're depressed and feeling that everything is hopeless. Don't feel bad for admitting that you want out..but you want out of feeling like this and feeling disconnected to everyone else in the world around you, not out of life itself.

Is there a family member you could contact, just to get in touch with and maybe to meet up with for some TLC and just general attention to your needs? You must feel very isolated and lonely and mornings can seem very long and endless as you work your way through them. How are you feeling now?

[debs71]

I truly empathise, Mark.

I know exactly what you mean. When my depression is at its worst - and to be honest, many days inbetween - I have this thought of 'what is the point of life and carrying on?' Just had enough of it all. I have said on more than one occasion to my nearest and dearest ' What is the point of waking up in the morning? I wish I wouldn't'.....In saying that though, I would never take my own life as I could NEVER do that to my family. That is the predominant reason for me. I remember when I was very depressed once and my Dad telling me to not do anything 'silly' as it would kill him. That is incentive enough for me to just face the depression and carry on really.

We can definitely feel bleak, feel like dropping off of the earth and feel nonchalant about death, but there is a VAST difference between that and actually instigating it.

I hope it helps you to know that you are not alone in this.