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Thread: Stop me spiralling, please.

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Posts
    111

    Stop me spiralling, please breast cancer massive fear.

    My mil died from breast cancer 2 years ago and from then I've been utterly obsessed, thinking that I have breast cancer and am going to die any minute. I went for an ultrasound 2 years ago for a tiny 2mm lump I found, of course I felt relief after, then started to worry that the rest of my breast or my other breast wasn't scanned so maybe there was something there. In between then and now I had the consultant manually feel them, a nurse and my doctor a year ago and I still can't let it go. I started having pain in my left shoulder blade around the same time and its still here now, I've been to a physiotherapist twice who said its my posture, also my left underarm is more puffy than my right one, its been like that for years, there's no lump, it just feels like my muscle is bigger in that arm. However ve put two and two together now and come up with 73. I'm convinced I have breast cancer and it has now spread to my shoulder/bones etc.
    Last edited by Victoria84; 03-10-20 at 15:06.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2020
    Posts
    999

    Re: Stop me spiralling, please.

    Only You can stop yourself from spiralling x Seek out a good therapist

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Posts
    111

    Re: Stop me spiralling, please.

    Been to therapists, had antidepressants, nothing works. X

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Posts
    111

    Re: Stop me spiralling, please.

    I'm in a huge panic over this. I'm going to have to phone the doctors on Monday, I dont knkwnwhat else to do, this whole thing in my brain has stopped me enjoying my 2 year old son, I cant stop it at all ive tried 2 bouts of cbt one counsellor and 6 different antidepressants. I've had the full whack of blood tests too in February, if any cancer has spread would that have picked it up?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Posts
    111

    Re: Stop me spiralling, please.

    Anyone?

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Posts
    24,667

    Re: Stop me spiralling, please.

    Quote Originally Posted by Victoria84 View Post
    Anyone?
    Everything is in your OP. Sorry to hear about your MIL but that's the catalyst. The rest of the reassurance and explanation to why you're spiraling is in your post.

    Quote Originally Posted by Victoria84 View Post
    My mil died from breast cancer 2 years ago and from then I've been utterly obsessed, thinking that I have breast cancer and am going to die any minute. I went for an ultrasound 2 years ago for a tiny 2mm lump I found, of course I felt relief after, then started to worry that the rest of my breast or my other breast wasn't scanned so maybe there was something there. In between then and now I had the consultant manually feel them, a nurse and my doctor a year ago and I still can't let it go. I started having pain in my left shoulder blade around the same time and its still here now, I've been to a physiotherapist twice who said its my posture, also my left underarm is more puffy than my right one, its been like that for years, there's no lump, it just feels like my muscle is bigger in that arm. However ve put two and two together now and come up with 73. I'm convinced I have breast cancer and it has now spread to my shoulder/bones etc.
    You really don't need others to tell you what you already know deep down.

    Positive thoughts
    __________________
    "Eat. Drink. Enjoy the work you do. Be thankful for the blessings God gives you in this life. Live, love and seek out the things that bring your heart joy. The rest is meaningless... Like chasing the wind." King Solomon

    The best help is the help you give yourself! http://cbt4panic.org/

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Posts
    111

    Re: Stop me spiralling, please.

    Thank you for replying, of course the HA is taking over and I'm getting in a panic over how long my armpit has been protruding more than my other now. I dont want to waste a dr appointment but I cant stop this.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Posts
    111

    One armpit 'bigger' than other.

    My HA has moved onto something else now... when I life my arm up to shave, the part you shave my left armpit sticks out more than my right. From side on view it's probably only about 2-3mm Now my HA is getting things out of proportion, I think I've always had this but because I'm now a certified fruit loop my brain is playing tricks on me. I had an ultrasound scan on that exact armpit 2 years ago. Does anyone else have this? It feels like my muscle is bigger in my armpit. If I push my fingers up into my armpit I cant feel anything when my arm is down at my side its only when raised.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2020
    Posts
    12

    Re: Stop me spiralling, please.

    Hi Victoria,

    I have been through the same thing a few years back, even my daughter was two at the time when I had a complete breakdown thinking I had cancer. I no longer have HA but I do still suffer with restricted breathing that wont go away with the anxiety :(

    My advice would be to go get checked out if you can afford to get a mamogram privately on both thats what I did (cost me around £130 per breast to be checked) & you get the results straightaway, I even had an MRI on my back because I was convinced. It really did help me stop thinking about breast cancer and all the other crap that comes with HA. I was terrible, I would turn up at my doctors, A&E and walk in centres.

    I had 6 family deaths all unexpected and it caused me to go into a breakdown. I am very sorry you lost your MIL. I promise in time it does get easier as kids get older xx

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    8,333

    Re: One armpit 'bigger' than other.

    nobodys bodies are symetrical
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    Emmz xx

    nolite te basstardes carborundorum





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