My experience of IBS and health anxiety: three years of fear solved by a colonoscopy

[Ranae]

Hello everyone,

I have never posted on this forum, but I have spent countless hours during the last three years reading through the different threads and it has helped (and hurt me) me enormously, so I think it's time for me to share my story, hoping that it is useful for somebody.

The only disease nobody can deny I have is health anxiety. I have wasted an incredible amount of time and effort worrying myself sick about the possibility of having different illnesses, especially different kinds of cancer. For the last three years, and in spite of the antidepressants and psychotherapy to treat my anxiety, my great consuming obsession has been bowel cancer.

Considering that both my uncle and my grandfather died from bowel cancer, it was a matter of time for me to start worrying about it. After two years obsessing about having skin cancer (I didn't), one day I discovered a bit of blood on the toilet paper after having a bowel movement and the nightmare started.

I have always had digestive problems. When I was a kid, I had mysterious stomach pains all the time, and every time I'm very nervous (which is quite often), I get instant diarrhea. From the moment I first saw blood on the toilet paper after a bowel movent my symptoms skyrocketed. Thanks to Google, I was very aware of the symptoms of bowel cancer and of course, sooner or later I had them all (or I thought I did). Diarrhea, pencil thin stools, lots of gas, passing all kinds of weird mucus, incomplete evacuation...you name it.

After several visits to different doctors, I was diagnosed with anal fissures, told to take a fiber supplement and dismissed. Depending on the day, either I would believe that I was healthy or I would become convinced that I was dying from bowel cancer. The fiber helped with the fissures but probably was the reason why other symptoms like bloating, mucus, gas and diarrhea seemed to increase.

After too many tests and three years of crippling fear I finally convinced my GP to refer me to a colonoscopy, which I had yesterday. The days and the morning before the colonoscopy were some of the worst of my life, not because of the bowel cleaning, but because of the terrible anxiety I experienced. I cried my eyes out. And after all that pain, after all those tears, all those days lost to worrying, everything came clear. EVERYTHING WAS COMPLETELY FINE.

The reason I'm telling this story is to tell you that if you're in the same situation as I was, you're probably suffering for nothing. Life is short and one day you'll become ill, so stop wasting your time. If you are like me, you already know this to be true, but you can't help yourself. Get medication for your anxiety, go to therapy, get support from your friends and family, do whatever it takes to prevent your fear of being sick from consuming you. It is not worthy. And if nothing works, then get a colonoscopy and be done with it. But don't waste another second worrying about your symptoms.

If you have any questions or if there's anything I can do to help, please let me know.

[Mindphaser]

I having colonoscopy on 11 January, please keep your fingers crossed that my colon will/is be completely fine. I live in constant fear and terror for two months already.

[Ranae]

Hi Mindphaser,

When I was about to have my colonoscopy, the consultant told me that in 99% of the cases they don't find anything. I don't know why you're getting a colonoscopy, but if it was something really serious, they would have already found it, don't worry. You'll be fine. Also, two days is nothing, you're almost done! I would advise you to take anxiety medication to make these two days easier.

Best of luck, but you won't need it.

[Mindphaser]

Thank you! Your words mean a lot to me. I stopped using anxiety drugs last summer (thats why my HA gradually came back), I don't have anything right know, but i would give much to have some Xanax or other benzos :P. Why I'm having colonoscopy is a long story, but I went to doc yesterday and he admitted to put my mind at ease I just should do it. Public healthcare in Poland is total crap, but private healthcare is pretty good and cheap (comparing to western europe, my colonoscopy with sedation and consulting cost around 120 pounds, it's not much even for polish standards) so I just made closest app to have it finally.

Thank you again for your words.

[Pepperpot]

Hello everyone,

I have never posted on this forum, but I have spent countless hours during the last three years reading through the different threads and it has helped (and hurt me) me enormously, so I think it's time for me to share my story, hoping that it is useful for somebody.

The only disease nobody can deny I have is health anxiety. I have wasted an incredible amount of time and effort worrying myself sick about the possibility of having different illnesses, especially different kinds of cancer. For the last three years, and in spite of the antidepressants and psychotherapy to treat my anxiety, my great consuming obsession has been bowel cancer.

Considering that both my uncle and my grandfather died from bowel cancer, it was a matter of time for me to start worrying about it. After two years obsessing about having skin cancer (I didn't), one day I discovered a bit of blood on the toilet paper after having a bowel movement and the nightmare started.

I have always had digestive problems. When I was a kid, I had mysterious stomach pains all the time, and every time I'm very nervous (which is quite often), I get instant diarrhea. From the moment I first saw blood on the toilet paper after a bowel movent my symptoms skyrocketed. Thanks to Google, I was very aware of the symptoms of bowel cancer and of course, sooner or later I had them all (or I thought I did). Diarrhea, pencil thin stools, lots of gas, passing all kinds of weird mucus, incomplete evacuation...you name it.

After several visits to different doctors, I was diagnosed with anal fissures, told to take a fiber supplement and dismissed. Depending on the day, either I would believe that I was healthy or I would become convinced that I was dying from bowel cancer. The fiber helped with the fissures but probably was the reason why other symptoms like bloating, mucus, gas and diarrhea seemed to increase.

After too many tests and three years of crippling fear I finally convinced my GP to refer me to a colonoscopy, which I had yesterday. The days and the morning before the colonoscopy were some of the worst of my life, not because of the bowel cleaning, but because of the terrible anxiety I experienced. I cried my eyes out. And after all that pain, after all those tears, all those days lost to worrying, everything came clear. EVERYTHING WAS COMPLETELY FINE.

The reason I'm telling this story is to tell you that if you're in the same situation as I was, you're probably suffering for nothing. Life is short and one day you'll become ill, so stop wasting your time. If you are like me, you already know this to be true, but you can't help yourself. Get medication for your anxiety, go to therapy, get support from your friends and family, do whatever it takes to prevent your fear of being sick from consuming you. It is not worthy. And if nothing works, then get a colonoscopy and be done with it. But don't waste another second worrying about your symptoms.

If you have any questions or if there's anything I can do to help, please let me know.

Great post, and so true. x

[Mom2FourKiddos]

I'm so happy for you I hope and pray for the same result. I can only imagine how much better you're sleeping now. I am so scared for my upcoming colonoscopy but reading your story helps to ease my mind a bit. Thank you for posting it.

[fruitandnutlover]

How wonderful for you to be given that news, you must feel so relieved. I’ve spent the last 18 years ( I’m 44) worrying about my bowels and have been in such a state the last few months as my symptoms have flared up. I get the same symptoms as you and my gp doesn’t really want to know, just keeps giving me prescriptions for various ibs meds! I feel that the only way to know for sure (and to be able to move on in my life), to know what’s going on in my insides is to pay privately to see a gastroenterologist and have investigations but that will be very expensive and I don’t know how I’d get over the fear of the colonoscopy ��

[Pepperpot]

How wonderful for you to be given that news, you must feel so relieved. I’ve spent the last 18 years ( I’m 44) worrying about my bowels and have been in such a state the last few months as my symptoms have flared up. I get the same symptoms as you and my gp doesn’t really want to know, just keeps giving me prescriptions for various ibs meds! I feel that the only way to know for sure (and to be able to move on in my life), to know what’s going on in my insides is to pay privately to see a gastroenterologist and have investigations but that will be very expensive and I don’t know how I’d get over the fear of the colonoscopy ��

colonoscopy isnt a bad procedure x

[Mindphaser]

Mine was all clear! I've already posted that in another topic. But this one really helped me going through prep time. ALL CLEAR. I have some other tests that i have to do but in near future, now i have to focus on my life, find a good job and get myself together.

To anyone that is having a colonoscopy - GET A FULL SEDATION. Best sleep ever and you won't feel everything, which is more comfortable for a doctor too i think. Its better to scope someone whos sleeping instead whos someone whos in pain and/or panicked.