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Thread: Health anxiety since bereavement - now it's 'lung cancer'?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
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    84

    Health anxiety since bereavement - now it's 'lung cancer'?

    I've always been an anxious, jumpy, overly-imaginative person. As a 9-year-old, I was bitten by a dog and spent the next 3 months waiting for the inevitable symptoms of rabies to show, despite living in the UK where rabies is not an issue. So health anxiety isn't new for me.

    However, my father died two years ago, fairly young and fairly unexpectedly (aggressive prostate cancer, 57) and since then my occasional health anxiety has morphed into something that is taking over my life for long stretches.

    In the last 8 months, I've convinced myself that I've had:

    - breast cancer (recurring breast pain in one side, ultrasound all clear)
    - a BRCA mutation (family cancer pattern on my dad's side: paid for private test, all clear)
    - endometrial or maybe ovarian cancer (sudden irregular and super-frequent periods, ultrasound showed a normal/small ovarian cyst)
    - non-Hodgkin's lymphoma (convinced I had a swollen lymph node on neck: I did not)
    - bowel cancer (thought I spotted blood in my stool, obsessively monitored motions for several days WITH A TORCH to look for blood, saw nothing further)
    EDIT: forgot to add - melanoma, twice (a large freckle on my foot I've had for 20 years, and a raised pink thing on my arm which came up suddenly, and disappeared shortly after; both dermoscoped and nothing wrong)

    Now, I am shaking like a jelly over the possibility of lung cancer. I brought up some flecks of blood in my spit a few days ago, and again the next day. I couldn't think of an obvious cause - no chest infection or sore throat, and no gum bleeding. Went to the GP, who wasn't overly concerned, but weighed me and I seem to have dropped about 3-4kg in the last couple of months.

    I am a 34 year old woman. I've never smoked. I've more or less given up alcohol. I cycle, go to the gym and do yoga; I eat reasonably healthily, and my BMI is normal. The odds of me having cancer are minimal, and I'm an intelligent, educated person with a decent understanding of medical terminology and statistics.

    And yet...

    ...somehow, the knowledge that it's technically *possible* for me to have cancer, outweighs the fact that it's highly unlikely. I see a therapist, and she suggested that I have a tendency to catastrophise as a means of keeping control over a situation. So if I have a symptom, I immediately jump to 'omg cancer' because at least that gives my brain a level of certainty.

    If someone could reassure me that I'm probably not one of the 29 women aged 30-34 who get diagnosed with lung cancer each year (yes, I have been reading the Cancer Research incidence stats), that'd be just grand, thanks.
    Last edited by CatLady1; 02-02-19 at 00:38.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    1,832

    Re: Health anxiety since bereavement - now it's 'lung cancer'?

    I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I can really relate to you. I find it so frustrating that despite being informed and rational enough to know that my worries are unfounded and my anxiety is to blame that I still can't pull myself out of a spiral.

    You and I both know you don't have lung cancer. But all the reason in the world didn't stop me from worrying about the same thing a few years ago!

    I do like what your therapist said about catastrophizing. I absolutely do that, but hadn't thought about it as a means of control. I'm big on control, so that makes a ton of sense for me as well. I hate to be surprised and always want to know how something will work out... so it makes sense that I'd go to the worst case scenario since it's easy to map out.

    I hope you can find some relief. I'm sorry that you lost your father that way. My father in law died very rapidly from cancer last year and it was extremely traumatic and I didn't even have a close relationship with him.

  3. #3

    Re: Health anxiety since bereavement - now it's 'lung cancer'?

    Sorry to hear about your Dad.
    You have described my own thought process exactly with regard to illness.

    You don't have cancer. You would have so many other symptoms. An x ray would rule it out once and for all. Not advocating tests because I know it is not always the answer but it is an option to discuss with your doctor?

    Hope you feel better soon.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    84

    Re: Health anxiety since bereavement - now it's 'lung cancer'?

    Quote Originally Posted by Beckett View Post
    You don't have cancer. You would have so many other symptoms. An x ray would rule it out once and for all. Not advocating tests because I know it is not always the answer but it is an option to discuss with your doctor?

    Hope you feel better soon.
    Thank you. I had a chest x ray yesterday, waiting on results which could take up to a week. Trying to make myself eat despite having no appetite. Just want to sleep.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    84

    Cross-posting from Health Anxiety: weight loss, blood in spit... lung cancer?

    I've always been an anxious, jumpy, overly-imaginative person. As a 9-year-old, I was bitten by a dog and spent the next 3 months waiting for the inevitable symptoms of rabies to show, despite living in the UK where rabies is not an issue. So health anxiety isn't new for me.

    However, my father died two years ago, fairly young and fairly unexpectedly (aggressive prostate cancer, 57) and since then my occasional health anxiety has morphed into something that is taking over my life for long stretches.

    In the last 8 months, I've convinced myself that I've had:

    - breast cancer (recurring breast pain in one side, ultrasound all clear)
    - a BRCA mutation (family cancer pattern on my dad's side: paid for private test, all clear)
    - endometrial or maybe ovarian cancer (sudden irregular and super-frequent periods, ultrasound showed a normal/small ovarian cyst)
    - non-Hodgkin's lymphoma (convinced I had a swollen lymph node on neck: I did not)
    - bowel cancer (thought I spotted blood in my stool, obsessively monitored motions for several days WITH A TORCH to look for blood, saw nothing further)
    EDIT: forgot to add - melanoma, twice (a large freckle on my foot I've had for 20 years, and a raised pink thing on my arm which came up suddenly, and disappeared shortly after; both dermoscoped and nothing wrong)

    Now, I am shaking like a jelly over the possibility of lung cancer. I brought up some flecks of blood in my spit a few days ago, and again the next day. I couldn't think of an obvious cause - no chest infection or sore throat, and no gum bleeding. Went to the GP, who wasn't overly concerned, but weighed me and I seem to have dropped about 4kg in the last couple of months, from 64kg to 60kg.


    I am a 34 year old woman. I've never smoked. I've more or less given up alcohol. I cycle, go to the gym and do yoga; I eat reasonably healthily, and my BMI is normal. The odds of me having cancer are minimal, and I'm an intelligent, educated person with a decent understanding of medical terminology and statistics.

    And yet...

    ...somehow, the knowledge that it's technically *possible* for me to have cancer, outweighs the fact that it's highly unlikely. I see a therapist, and she suggested that I have a tendency to catastrophise as a means of keeping control over a situation. So if I have a symptom, I immediately jump to 'omg cancer' because at least that gives my brain a level of certainty.

    If someone could reassure me that I'm probably not one of the 29 women aged 30-34 who get diagnosed with lung cancer each year (yes, I have been reading the Cancer Research incidence stats), that'd be just grand, thanks.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar 2011
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    1,543

    Re: Cross-posting from Health Anxiety: weight loss, blood in spit... lung cancer?

    Cross posting? Multiple postings are frowned upon here.. admin may combine your threads, it's too hard to follow when there are multiple threads same person, same issue.

    That said... often times the blood is coming from sinuses.

  7. #7
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    Re: Cross-posting from Health Anxiety: weight loss, blood in spit... lung cancer?

    Hi

    This is just a courtesy reply to let you know that your thread was merged with another of your threads.

    Please when posting on similar topics add it onto your previous post rather than starting a new one.


    It is nothing personal it is just to make it easier for people to follow your story and to give you advice as a whole.
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  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
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    84

    Re: Cross-posting from Health Anxiety: weight loss, blood in spit... lung cancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by NancyW View Post
    Cross posting? Multiple postings are frowned upon here.. admin may combine your threads, it's too hard to follow when there are multiple threads same person, same issue.
    Thank you for the heads up, I'll stick with this thread.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    4,185

    Re: Health anxiety since bereavement - now it's 'lung cancer'?

    I do feel for you, my own health anxiety came back after a very very long break, when my Dad died 3 years ago. I had CBT but I think I had it too soon.

    How does your therapist think you can resolve the catastrophising?
    Is there anything that has worked in the past? Or something you know you should do to help yourself but don’t?

    Mine is a diary, I need to keep it again as it helped. Also, doing some form of meditation or relaxation. I’m just avoiding everything.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Posts
    84

    Re: Health anxiety since bereavement - now it's 'lung cancer'?

    I would be worrying much less about the blood in my spit - which has stopped now, and which I realise is common/often has no identifiable cause - were it not for my weight loss. I can’t decide whether what I’ve lost is (a) a concerning amount in the timeframe and (b) explainable. Can anybody weigh (heh) in on this, and help me place things in perspective?

    My weight does drop whenever I have a bout of anxiety, but I’m not otherwise in the habit of weighing myself. Last summer I was around 64kg, give or take a kg either side to allow for normal fluctuations. At one stage I went as low as 62.5 after yet another health scare, but was able to put weight back on once things returned to normal, and I’ve been as high as 65-66kg on occasion.

    When I first noticed the blood in my spit (so, before I went on my anxiety spiral), I weighed myself and saw that I was 61.5kg, which is the lightest I’ve been in years - and that’s what really got me worried. So of course I’ve lost more weight since then, though I realise that it’s because of anxiety/loss of appetite, and I’m working on making myself eat.

    That initial weight loss - about 4kg in the space of 6 weeks - is more than 5% of my normal body mass. I do eat reasonably healthily, but I haven’t been consciously dieting. I go to the gym, but only once or twice a week. Even previous bouts of anxiety last year didn’t make me drop to this weight. Am I overreacting here?

    ---------- Post added at 12:32 ---------- Previous post was at 12:26 ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Scass View Post
    How does your therapist think you can resolve the catastrophising?
    Is there anything that has worked in the past? Or something you know you should do to help yourself but don’t?
    Therapist thinks this is part of a wider issue around anxiety and a need for control, stemming from various childhood experiences. I agree with her. The health anxiety is a specific manifestation of a much broader anxiety issue, and has been triggered by my father’s death.

    We’ve been talking about the fact that I have to learn to accept uncertainty, and to try and get away from patterns of thinking in black and white. I haven’t yet tried CBT, but I have bought a workbook called ‘Understanding Health Anxiety’ which I’m going through whenever I have time.

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