marriage

[yurgita]

Hi,
I have obssesion that I will never be married. I am 29 and it like for me the end of my life. But ever during the working hours all the time I am thinking about this, that maybe I will never have children, husband and etc. So for what to do career.. and this bla bla in my head. How to stop think about this?
What experience do you have?

[groovygranny]

Hi yurgita,

Well, I'm a lot older than you but I remember thinking the same thing when my first marriage ended when I was a lot younger.

It was a very unpleasant affair and I thought I'd have to resign myself to the single life and be childless forever. Because of my experience I was 'right off men' .

But then I met my lovely husband (of 30 yrs!) out of the blue on a night out I didn't even want to go on! And we have three grown up daughters and two little grandsons!

I know this is not really similar to your situation but I just want to encourage you.

Try not to 'try too hard' by thinking negatively about this. A lot of the time things happen to us when we least expect them - and when we're not dwelling on them.

Always live in hope and don't lose it - you never know what's around the next corner!

big hugs for you xx

[yurgita]

Thank you for reply.
I really afraid to miss my change and realise that in my life if I have boyfriend and I hold him with both hands and afraid to let him go away, I always agree with him, not complain about anything and etc. But in this case I simply losing my personal dreams/personallity and after sometime I hate him and of course I am alone again ))
It is good to have nice examples as yours

[groovygranny]

Hi yurgita,

Yes, I see what you mean.

However, when you do meet 'Mr Right' it will be a case of finding out about each other and how you can compromise with one another for your mutual happiness and well-being.

This should never stop, even after you've been married for a very long time. And as your realtionship develops you'll find that although you are still very much in love, you are also individuals - two people as one but with your own personalities, and a desire to encourage each other in your dreams and aspirations.

Of course, like everything else - true love is a bumpy ride sometimes, and sadly there are unhappy endings as well as happy ones.

Please try not to think ahead too much. It seems you have already mapped out what would happen if and when you meet someone. This will only prevent you from relaxing and being yourself - and negative thoughts are not good for you.

Hope this has helped a little