End of the World Fear

[AnxietyZT]

Hi everyone,

I have always struggled from OCD and intrusive thoughts for most of my life. I don’t know why, but recently I have been thinking the world is going to end. It all started back in September when I went to church and the priest was joking about how people thought the word was going to end September 23rd. He was laughing while he said. But to me, complete panic and fear consumed my body. I felt like I was going to puke and my mind started racing 30000 miles per hour. The day came and passed, obviously we are all still alive but the fear still lives on. I was one YouTube a couple weeks ago watching a health video and I’m my recommended video it says, “the end is near, giants seen on earth” or something like that. Once again, the fear consumed my life and that was all I could think about. I was driving and seen a sign “God love you. Jesus is coming” and once again, complete fear the world was ending. I find myself scared to look at the sky because I constantly imagine something crashing into earth, I question the clouds thinking they look strange and I panic, etc. It is just nonstop of dealing with this impending doom that lingers over me. I am religious but I am, unfortunately, gay which has caused me a great deal of distress. I constantly question if what I am doing is wrong and if somehow I am choosing this, if I am going to hell, if I should just be single my whole life, etc. I know I did not choose this, I’ve tried to change this, but I can’t. As you can probably tell, I am living my life in fear. I envy those who are “normal” and don’t have these constant deep thoughts that I have. To be clear, I don’t think gays are going to Hell. I look at everyone and I see the good in them and realize that we are all the same regardless of gender, sexual orientation, religion, etc. No one on earth is superior than the person next to them. It has just been impossible to think this about myself. Sorry for the long winded post and please no negativity. If you don’t agree with me being gay, please do not scorn me because you will ruin my week with fear. Thank you for anyone who reads this.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Just to put your mind at rest, I've never seen a negative post about someone's sexuality on NMP posted since I've been here. You have nothing to worry about on that score. And we have other gay members,none of whom have experienced any negativity from what I've seen (quite the opposite actually, lots of support).

[Izanagi-no-Okami]

Hoo boy, I dealt with this fear a lot when I was younger. From Harold Camping to the Mayan 2012 "apocalypse." Ultimately, no one knows the time or day the world will end. People who claim to know that are, pardon my language, complete crackpots. My best piece of advice is to live your life to the fullest, and ironically, live each day like it was your last. Take care!

[Mindprison]

Agree with the above. Ironically, worrying about the world ending is robbing you of time that could be spent enjoying life.

If the world was going to end, there's not a damn thing we could do about it. It's like many things in life, they are so uncertain that worrying about them robs us of precious time.

The same could be said for all anxiety and existential issues as well. It's hard to accept but there are things in this world we just have no power over and the only way forward is acceptance.

[Speranza]

Just to say, I was married to a gay priest (Anglican,it's allowed!) for twenty years. As a young man (before we met) he went for prayer to be 'cured' because he was so sure it was against God's will. Sheesh... the things we put on ourselves. :(

We divorced so that he and I could pursue relationships. I've never found anybody. He's had one long-ish term partner and certainly more boyfriends than me! And I am willing to bet God still loves him. xx

[MyNameIsTerry]

We get threads about Sept 23rd. Last year, the year before, now this year.

It feels like this "prophecy" issue is "23rd Sept sometime between 0-10000000AD!

[FrankT]

I have actually been there. I've been afraid of the end of the world for as long as I can remember, and I suspect I always will be. You can imagine the embarrassment I've been through when I found on the day that it was all a put-on!

[MyNameIsTerry]

I have actually been there. I've been afraid of the end of the world for as long as I can remember, and I suspect I always will be. You can imagine the embarrassment I've been through when I found on the day that it was all a put-on!

Don't be too hard on yourself, Frank. With anxiety some are doing that daily over cancers they worry about and others about external events like this.

Paranoia & anxiety can come together. I found that happened to me at the higher stages of my anxiety and went away as the anxiety came down on a more consistent basis.

[AnxietyZT]

Thank you everyone for your responses. It really means a lot and brings me comfort reading your replies. I am going to continue to work on myself and get to a place of happiness. I realized the issue isn’t being gay, straight, world ending, what not... it’s about me learning to love and accept myself for who I am and live life to the fullest. Also, I need to learn that some things are simply out of my control, because at the end of the day me worrying about the end of the world is only hurting myself.

Just some advice for anyone that is potentially reading this trying to find comfort — here is what I’ve done and it has helped. The first is stop watching the news/being on social media. The negativity is really poison and people make up these theories for attention. Second, continue to fight back with your thoughts. Instead of letting the fear consume you, when the thought comes to mind try to relax and not give it that fear. Anxiety/OCD stems in giving thoughts fears. I hope this helps! Thanks again for the positivity everyone.