Being selfish with health anxiety and trying to fix that

[LouiseAndy]

I, have been very selfish lately with my health anxiety. I've let it over-spill into area's of life I shouldn't of had. Hearing about other people's tragic event's made me worry about myself. Which was just wrong! I've been so self-centered about myself. Worrying about every headache, every bodily pain or strange feeling, about a heart attack, blood clots, every cancer or something under the sun. Which is been so unfair of me.

A few days ago I made a very selfish comment on one of my post and some user did point that out. It was true. So I've been doing my best to make the start of a positive change- just to say. I'm not saying this to try and like "make me look better" or something. It's to show how my own anxiety has effect those around me and how they should have better.

I've booked my Mam and sister a special weekend. They deserve to have something special after how much they have put up with me. Me worrying about every little thing spill into their own lives time and time again. Which isn't right or fair of me. I'm going to try and be a better daughter and sister. They have events they been to be helped with. It can't be, me, me me all the time.

My friends, god they have put up with so much from me. I have spoken to/seen a few of them over the last few days. I've give everything to just listen to them. To their joys and negatives not once taking any chance to mention any health worries even when one tried to start the convo about it. I need to be a better friend to them, because they have been so good to me. They don't need to hear about all the time when they have their own issues to bear and carry.

My boyfriend, god, he has done so much for me. I've done so little. I have to do so much work there. I don't deserve someone so understanding.


Basically there's so many other ways I have been so selfish. That I've let this need to find something to be wrong with me. Chasing it and chasing it. Has effect everyone around me and I'm so lucky to still have them. So I have to make myself better for me. So I can be a better person for all of these people.

[lucymarie]

That all sounds very positive Louise, good on you

[jojo2316]

Lovely post!
And so true HA is hideously selfish. It’s - perhaps- the thing I hate most about it

[pulisa]

This is a very honest and brave post, Louise. It's so important to think how others are affected by our HA.

[lscmich]

This is totally me, fixated on something for so long yet everyone tells me my fears are irrational, yet I still convince myself I am doomed for the future. It pains me seeing how it affects my parents, my friends, they see me cry everyday and how I stopped eating well and all that.. i see their faces, my parents look drained and tired because of me, my sister cried because she’s afraid that i will do something stupid. It’s just too much, I am too selfish to be dwelling on thoughts like this, HA is such a b*tch and no one can help me apart from myself. I am so lucky people on here have tried so many times to convince me I am alright, yet I am still so arrogant and so deep in my HA thoughts. So i totally relate to this post, I’ve harmed so many people with my emotions, and I am selfish for harming myself like that.. I hope one day, one day I can step out of this dark hole, even just for awhile...

I wish u all the best!!

[pulisa]

Why not make a start today, Ismich? No time like the present.

Good to know that Louise's post is helping others see that HA is not just all about them. Maybe it should be made a sticky? Just a suggestion.

[jojo2316]

Why not make a start today, Ismich? No time like the present.

Good to know that Louise's post is helping others see that HA is not just all about them. Maybe it should be made a sticky? Just a suggestion.

I agree this would make a good sticky. I think it is under recognised, how we affect those around us

[pulisa]

I agree this would make a good sticky. I think it is under recognised, how we affect those around us

I think you have to want to recover to take this on board.

[LouiseAndy]

Oh wow! I've only just gotten the chance to read this now. To be honest I wasn't expecting such a postive reply! I wrote it in a moment of pure anger at myself and pushing for a change in life. Like it wasn't just health anixety (oh don't get me wrong it's a big issues but I have others to deal with it as). It was like I was so busy worrying about the health I didn't actually... Deal with issues I had to deal with.

Like do I still get moments of freaking out and panicking like "oh my god, oh my god!! This is it". I'm doing my best though to push on from those moments. I'm trying to fill my time with real friendship talks and meaningful actions rather then "is this... A heart attack... Is this some rare/or well known... Cancer.. Tumor.." etc. It's not easy! It's been only a few days since this trying to have a mind chance but I'm doing my best!!

@im48 @Jojo2316 @Pulisa: thank you all for taking the time to reply!! It's true, health anixety is totally selfish. Not just in my family and friends. To people suffering with these illness. Like the last thing that set me off, wasn't fair to the girl actually suffering with it. It's her story not mine. I'm doing my best to put postive engery out. Not worrying as much about everything! Which can be hard at times. Very hard.

@iscmich: oh hun! I'm sorry, I know the feeling extacly. I think it's important to put that feeling of frustration and trying to use it to make a postive change. I hope you mange to get everything under control. We can do this. We will be the best version of ourselves. Because it does matter to be better for the people around us but also to be the best person we can be for ourselves ❤️❤️

Thank you to everyone who's read/replied to this!

[HullSimplibus]

I, have been very selfish lately with my health anxiety. I've let it over-spill into area's of life I shouldn't of had. Hearing about other people's tragic event's made me worry about myself. Which was just wrong! I've been so self-centered about myself. Worrying about every headache, every bodily pain or strange feeling, about a heart attack, blood clots, every cancer or something under the sun. Which is been so unfair of me.

A few days ago I made a very selfish comment on one of my post and some user did point that out. It was true. So I've been doing my best to make the start of a positive change- just to say. I'm not saying this to try and like "make me look better" or something. It's to show how my own anxiety has effect those around me and how they should have better.

I've booked my Mam and sister a special weekend. They deserve to have something special after how much they have put up with me. Me worrying about every little thing spill into their own lives time and time again. Which isn't right or fair of me. I'm going to try and be a better daughter and sister. They have events they been to be helped with. It can't be, me, me me all the time.

My friends, god they have put up with so much from me. I have spoken to/seen a few of them over the last few days. I've give everything to just listen to them. To their joys and negatives not once taking any chance to mention any health worries even when one tried to start the convo about it. I need to be a better friend to them, because they have been so good to me. They don't need to hear about all the time when they have their own issues to bear and carry.

My boyfriend, god, he has done so much for me. I've done so little. I have to do so much work there. I don't deserve someone so understanding.


Basically there's so many other ways I have been so selfish. That I've let this need to find something to be wrong with me. Chasing it and chasing it. Has effect everyone around me and I'm so lucky to still have them. So I have to make myself better for me. So I can be a better person for all of these people.

You have remorse. It shows that you are in fact not a bad person. Do not think that you are bad at all.

When you have anxiety, it is hard sometimes to *NOT* be selfish. It takes up a lot of space in your mind and you can't think that well, therefore your thought of other people may not show. I've been there and done that, and been called selfish for it multiple times.

I think you should find a way to fight your anxiety. Talk to someone you know about it. Explain your worry about selfishness. I am sure they will listen.