Worried sick about a mole on my back.

[TheOregano]

This my first post ever on this forum and I'm not a native English speaker nor a good writer so I apologize if something doesn't make much sense.

I'm 18 and from Iceland and I recently started to worry about a mole on my back that I noticed a few years ago. It's pretty big (about 8mm) and I've been worried sick about it the past few days since finding out and reading about melanoma online. I went to the dermatologist yesterday and he would imply that it was nothing to worry about but he could remove it if it would suppress my anxiety. I decided not to get it removed since it required surgery and he would have to take a bunch of skin around the area which would leave me with a scar.

I thought I would just be reassured and forget about the mole.. but a day later and I'm already worrying again. I made a Reddit post asking people about the mole on my back and got one reply from a person that told me that she herself had a not-so-bad looking mole on her back that ended up being melanoma (made me skyrocket with anxiety). It doesn't fit the ABCDE criteria instead of the "D" which stands for diameter. The recommended mole size is 6mm and if a mole is bigger than it you should talk to a doctor.

I don't know what I should do, I'm worried about the mole being cancer but I'm also worried about getting the biopsy and most definitely the wait time for the results that come with it.

I need your advice.. I really want to stop obsessing over this. I've been obsessing over the mole for the past 4 days when I found out about melanoma. Before then I was actually pretty happy. I don't know what to do.. get the surgery and get the scar even though it might be benign?

[lucymarie]

Oregano, I completely understand your fear. Skin is my big trigger and it's hell to live with, truly it is.

To start - please stop googling. I say this with experience, I have spent 6 months googling melanoma anything from 2 to 8 hours a day (yes you read that correctly - 8 HOURS!) and I say this with certainty, it achieves absolutely nothing other than zapping your life quality and making yourself ill. Even if you did have the illness you feared, the googling changes nothing, it just makes everything worse.

Secondly, Melanoma is very rare. Some people will tell you otherwise (largely based on very unfortunate personal experiences), but the fact remains that it is and even in changed/super dodgy/new moles, 9 out of 10 times they are benign. And in those very unfortunate cases where they are not, 9 out of 10 of those are caught early. So the odds are overwhelmingly in your favour. You will ALWAYS read otherwise online because the only people who hang around are those unfortunate enough to be the minority, everyone else moves on with their lives.

From my experience, diameter is only part of the story. Yes over 6mm is considered higher risk for Melanoma, but usually only because most Melanomas are over 6mm so a connection is made. That doesn't mean all moles over 6mm are cancerous by any means. There are also alot of other factors, colour, evolution, if it is raised, itching and bleeding etc. Has your mole changed at all in this time? If not it is even less likely to be of a concern.

Your dermatologist is the best person to ease your fears and from the sounds of it, was very happy that there was nothing to worry about. If they had even a 0.01% doubt they would biopsy it. They don't take any risks with melanoma. I hope this brings you some comfort. If not and you are like me and are still concerned your best options are to seek a second opinion or go back and ask for a biopsy to settle your mind once and for all.

If you go for the latter, the surgery is very minor and yes you will get a scar but it seems a small price to pay for peace of mind. The wait is horrible, I can't sugar coat it, but the time will pass regardless and there is a huge sense of relief when the mole is gone. You have to ask yourself though - will the removal give you your life back, or will you find a new mole or a new illness to fear? If so please seek help for your anxiety because this isn't a happy road to go down.

Big hugs, I'm always here if you need to chat. x

[ErinKC]

Dermotologists are truly experts at identifying skin cancer. All they do all day is look at moles, so they can spot something concerning right away. That said, getting a mole removed is really very simple. I had one that was bothering me because my bra strap kept rubbing against it and making it sore, so I booked and appointment and the nurse practitioner gave me a bit of lidocaine on the area and then scraped it off with a razor blade. It took about 2 weeks to heal and there is definitely a scar, but the whole thing took about 1-2 minutes. If it's worrying you, you might as well get it taken off. But, if the doctor wasn't concerned, I wouldn't be either.