Fixated on going blind, life is hopeless.

[lscmich]

So here's my story.
I am now 21 but have developed a huge fear of going blind in the future probably in my 30s or 40s or even sooner. During my younger days probably 13 14 years old I used to sneak my iphone in bed and play games before i go to bed. I used my phone in darkness as I didn't want my parents to catch me.

So now here I am, worried sick everyday and have been living in regrets since. This sucks because I have no one to blame but myself if I go blind one day due to glaucoma or macular degeneration or other eye diseases. All I do is beat myself up and overthink and think till i can't sleep or function properly even though my eyesight is fine right now. I've been to the ophthalmologist at least 3 times in the past few years just to reassure my fears, but still I can't help but to think that I'll go blind soon, maybe in a few years and GOD it takes the life out of me now. I want to gain my motivation back, I want to fight this and enjoy life at the moment but I can't as I am obsessed with this thought and haunted with deep regrets every single second.

I think I am going crazy and one day I'll just end it all...

[venusbluejeans]

you won't go blind from that, just how many blind people there would be if you got blind from that... seriously, you will be fine.

go to the opticians yearly and they will pick up on any problems (you need to trust them) but any problems in the future will NOT be caused by looking at your iphone in the dark.

[ankietyjoe]

There is zero chance of going blind as a consequence of your phone habits.

Absolute worst case scenario is needing glasses in later life, but even that is unlikely as a result of looking at a phone in the dark.

[lscmich]

you won't go blind from that, just how many blind people there would be if you got blind from that... seriously, you will be fine.

go to the opticians yearly and they will pick up on any problems (you need to trust them) but any problems in the future will NOT be caused by looking at your iphone in the dark.

I know quite a lot of my friends have this habit as well.. just devastated that we’ll probably go blind in our 30s which i won’t be to cope at all :( I thought the light from screens are very harmful that’s why I am sure i’ll go blind soon, and I regret sooooo badly that I was naive enough to harm myself like that.

[venusbluejeans]

just devastated that we’ll probably go blind in our 30s

No you won't

[lscmich]

There is zero chance of going blind as a consequence of your phone habits.

Absolute worst case scenario is needing glasses in later life, but even that is unlikely as a result of looking at a phone in the dark.

I am convinced I will get glaucoma at a very early age because of this habit that i regret, I shouldve known it’s very bad for the eyes and I only got one pair of eyes and I have ruined it. I feel hopeless and devastated every second and it sucks because I am worrying about something that might or might NOT happen. I really just want to enjoy life in the moment and stop obesessing over this thought, its taking over my life. Sorry for being so negative i really wish my mind can be more forgiving towards my younger self...

---------- Post added at 11:23 ---------- Previous post was at 11:22 ----------

No you won't

Thank you for your reply, I will go to eye checkup every year from now on

[Clara983]

Fear of blindness is a very common anxiety, it's called scotomoaphobia. You should not worry about your phone, rather try to work on your anxiety.
If we went blind from phones, than at least half of the world's population would be blind soon.

[ankietyjoe]

People are telling you it's not going to happen, but you still 'know' that it will.

What exactly do you want people to tell you?

The way you think about this issue is within your control. Get outside, go for walks, meditate, live in the now.

[AMomentofClarity]

There’s a very simple solution to all of this....treat your anxiety. That’s the real issue here.

[lscmich]

People are telling you it's not going to happen, but you still 'know' that it will.

What exactly do you want people to tell you?

The way you think about this issue is within your control. Get outside, go for walks, meditate, live in the now.

Thank you for your reply and Im sorry for being irrational, but the fear is so real in my head and its constantly beating myself up for my past... I feel awful everyday and Im also angry at myself for wasting my life away like this :(